Smut Marathon 2020: First voting round

Here we are, at the beginning of a brand new marathon. That is, for the readers and voters, as the writers have started their marathon two weeks ago, when they received the first assignment. Not an easy assignment, but definitely a fun one, and also one that had to make them really look at the words they write.

What am I talking about?
The assignment was all about alliteration, and to get that in a sentence, you have to carefully select the words to add alliteration, but also to make sure the sentence still makes sense. And sometimes it just accidentally happens, like in my previous sentence!

Important: A slight change in voting

This year there is a slight change in the voting system, for the first six rounds. Where in previous years you had to choose 3 entries, you now have the option to choose between 3 and 5. No less than 3, no more than 5.

Another change is that all stories who receive zero votes in this public voting round, will also be awarded zero points from the public, and not 1 as it was in the past.

The assignment

Write an erotic sentence including alliteration.
Only ONE sentence

Specific requirements:
– No dialogue.
– Only one sentence.
– your sentence is between 15-25 words. No less, no more.
– give your story a title of maximum 2 words.

In total 120 writers signed up for the Smut Marathon 2020, but only 109 writers sent in their stories. Congratulations to you, as you have set your first step towards reaching the final of the Smut Marathon 2020. Having writers not sent in their assignments is just as part of the marathon as those who continue to participate until they are knocked out.

Please note: Entries are not placed in the order in which they have been received. A randomizer has been used to order the entries.

Readers, what should you do now?

Read all entries, and vote for the stories you like the best. Try to keep the assignment in mind when you make your choices. You have to vote for no less than three stories, and no more than five. Don’t forget to click the ‘Finish Survey’ button when you’ve made your choices!

Please note:

  • Writers are not allowed to tell anyone which entry they have written!
  • You can only vote once. Votes will be monitored and double votes will be removed.
  • The voting round closes on Friday 14 February 2020 at 22.00 CET (see the countdown in the sidebar).
  • Results of the voting round will be published on this site on 16 February 2020 and then the author of each story will be revealed.

One last thing: Feedback

I know it’s a lot to read and even more to ask, but it would be lovely if you could give the entries as much feedback as possible, or to make it more manageable, please leave feedback on the three entries you voted for as well as three entries you have not chosen. It would be lovely if your feedback is composed in such a way that the writers can learn something from it. This will be highly appreciated.
(Please note: feedback is only approved after the voting round has closed.)

Enjoy reading and start voting!

~ Marie Rebelle
Image source


Contents show

1) Lickety Clit

Longing for those lazy lunchtimes when you’d part my plump pussy lips and tongue at the tight knot of need nestled inside.


2) Silk Sheets

Silk slides smooth on my skin, sending shudders from the soles of my feet to the summit of my scalp.


3) Utter

One whispered word immersed her in memories of moans and mostly onomatopoeic outpourings steeped in steam, sweat soaked limbs, and love.


4) Longing

Lingering looks across the crowded room have me longing for you, lusting for you, licking my lips at the mere thought of you.


5) Gently greased

Guinevere groaned as Graham gritted and gently greased her, grunting, grinding, her voice a gusting sigh as she gulped and granted and accepted his girth.


6) Slow Sex

Blessed with a sixth sense, sensing every slide inside, again and again, six seconds at a time.


7) Anticipation

Delicate wrists wrapped roughly in my grasp, as I contemplate exactly where my slow seduction of your senses will begin.


8) Rhetorical Release

A blindfolded Lady Justice savored the lawyer’s linguistic guile, eliciting the aural orgasm that tipped her scales enough to get his guilty defendant off too.


9) Brutal Blessings

Broken is my breathing, as my blistered behind burns, bruised by your beating, blemished by your brutality, while betrothing our bond.


10) Silk Scarf

The soft silk scarf shimmered in the candlelight, as it lightly kissed the skin of her exposed body, she breathed a single satisfied sigh.


11) Reunion

She was wearing leather, lingerie and a look that said we would fuck frantically till morning.


12) Bad Boy

Back bowed and breath bated, Brian’s body buckled from the bolt of Bianca’s belt against his blushed bum.


13) Suspended Animation

That moment when his hand slides secretly from silk to skin, to brush against sodden cotton, and no one knows why I’m smiling.


14) First Date

His cock in her clenching cunt as he caressed and circled her clit, she cried out as she came.


15) Summer Seduction

Sultry, coconut-scented skin prickles as he strokes between shaking thighs, then tugs her swimsuit top aside with his teeth and sucks her until she shatters.


16) Sweet Surrender

Sarabeth sighed as fingers slid up her thigh, teasing and tantalizing, slipped inside; she shuddered, surrendered, all doubts cast aside.


17) Three lovers

Two tongues twirled and intertwined, then travelled teasingly toward her thighs; she sank sinfully into their sighs.


18) Tied Taut

Blindfolded, body tied taut to the bed, she licked her lips at the sense that Master was stood straddled before her.


19) Luscious Landing

Dripping, tipping, flipping, almost skipping and the drop flops then stops, as her spine pines with need for more of his fleeting seeping seed.


20) Sensual Seduction

Cindy’s sex secreted a sensual scent that secretly signified her stimulated situation from his subtile seduction.


21) Teenage Kicks

The glistening night bus carved through stair-rod rain; it hammered on the roof and drowned out the sounds of wet upper deck sex.


22) Besties

Bouncy breasts abound around the bedside of the bound blonde beauty, her round brown eyes beckoning and sweet beneath sweat beaded brows.


23) Waiting, Wanting

She closes her wardrobe and waits, wanting to see him, growing wetter as she whispers her wishes of new, wondrous welts.


24) Seeking Sex

She stood on the station platform when a stranger stepped into her space, shivering slightly at the scent of their sensual aroma.


25) Carnal Consummation

Yielding birthed yearning whilst Beauty yelped and yowled; braying breath belying calm contained constriction, her bountiful bound breasts claimed as he carnally consumed his catch.


26) Suspicious

Sally’s slippery slit slithered slowly to Sam’s semen soaked sack; subconsciously Sam started something similar Saturday with slutty Sarah.


27) Slippery Sliders

Lilly lathered lube liberally onto her silicone cock while smiling seductively at Sharon before sliding into her slippery snatch.


28) It wakes

No longer an indolent weight upon my tongue; you hardened and rose, infused with want, to my welcoming incitements.


29) Quentin’s Competence

Quentin could keep Quinn’s cunt coming, quite continually coaxing quivers, cooing, keening, quakes coursing constantly.


30) Fisted

I was contracting and convulsing around his arm, lube leaking from my hole, my voice hoarse from cries of unrelenting pleasure, yet he kept pushing.


31) One Look

One look is all it ever took from him to turn her sensual sensations into sexual lust, her thoughts from pure to pure passion.


32) Tasting Menu

As Luke licked her labia, Lauren felt the length of his tongue, loudly lapping up her liquids, leading her to luxurious levels of lust.


33) Teetering Tension

Trembling with trepidation, tender tarry in a trice, tortuously teasing the threshold to the tangy tunnel, thirsting to trespass.


34) Fantasies

He stood in the open doorway, wordless, eyes wide with wonder, watching his wife fuck the man at the centre of his own forbidden fantasies.


35) Her Hands

Her hands held him hostage and hooked him wholly; hotly, his humanity hit the heavens as her hands brought him to heel.


36) Discreet Dancing

Avoiding your gaze, I feel your breath graze my lips with an unspoken hunted hunger.


37) Nightly Worship

He slipped off her lacey leggings and lavished her lengthy luscious legs with a lightly scented lavender lotion.


38) 20 lashes

The soft leather of his belt felt like the static crackling of electricity, as he peppered her smooth svelte hide.


39) Naughty Needs

Nancy navigated Nick’s naughty needs while wearing her naval nurse costume and kneeling in her nylons with her nipples nicely naked.


40) Moonshine Sculpting

Silvery moonlight suffused into the room, stealing smooth shapes from the shadows, to sculpt from darkness the nipple on my sleeping lover’s breast.


41) Electric

His hands spark, lightning hot, as he slips them beneath my blouse, touching me with tingling fingers, electrifying my naked skin.


42) Callie

Callie’s thighs quivered as Kate caressed her soft curls, fingers finding their way into her folds.


43) The Spanking

The sound of slapping mingles with her voice, soft, shaking, sighing – she counts each strike in a pleasure infused whisper.


44) Silken Sensation

The sight of her stunning body sliding over theirs sent salacious thoughts swimming through their mind and cyprine sensations between their thighs.


45) Practicalities

What kept her on her feet now were body memories of expectant sensations, but were any of them potent possibilities?


46) Steamy Seduction

Sally stared into Sam’s seductive eyes, as he slowly slid his stiff phallus inside her, simultaneously stroking and swirling her sweet, swollen bud.


47) Gal Pals

Stolen away in a silent sanctuary, Samantha scalded Cynthia’s swollen sex with scintillating sin, secret scarlet kisses kept closely guarded.


48) Blessed, be

Baby, be bold as you beautifully bind my breasts, but beatific as you bruise my bare behind.


49) Waiting Approval

She sat silently on her knees waiting for his approval to come in slow and stern steady secession.


50) Capriciously Chaotic

The crisp kiss of carnal scent, clings cloyingly to Cassandra’s chthonic cavern and she smiles, sinfully savouring the sanctimonious servitude of her simpering slaves.


51) Sensuous Salvation

Longing for his luscious love, I dauntlessly drenched his damaged heart in a thousand bedazzling droplets he made me drizzle down my thighs.


52) Mysterious Meeting

Neal knew not where this carnal kitsune had come from, but when they locked eyes, his cock pulsed with passion and her tail twitched.


53) Prelude

Her breath hitched as she straddled his lap so that even through their clothing, his bulbous bellend nestled warmly and vivid against her pussy lips.


54) On Top

Spheres of sweat sliver seductively down her serpentine spine, as she single-mindedly slides her saturated sex towards soul satisfying salvation.


55) Pleasured pain

It always started with pain, but with each skillful strike the feeling of pure pleasure increased, coursing through her fragile frame like electrical energy.


56) Lip Service

Pedro sways above me, sweet cock easing past my pursed lips; I grasp his shaft and suck greedily, eager to swallow his salty release.


57) Seeing Stars

Sam slips silently beneath the sheets, encircling Sasha’s stiff cock with her mouth and sucking until he sees stars.


58) Thirst

Eyes closed, she sighed with pleasure as my tongue traced again the well-trodden path from her toes to the delicious top of her tantalising thighs.


59) Reciprocity

Tethered together, she shivered, he quivered, she simpered, he whimpered, as his thrusts threw them toward the thrilling throes of climax.


60) Spunky Spree

Katerina’s coquettish curtsy was her very own poetic punctuation to the resplendent recollection of having conquered such a cacophony of cocks in one evening.


61) Filthy Findings

Flexed fingers feather between firm breasts, curiously finding their way to my folds, euphoria forcing my thighs to spread.


62) Reversing roles

An unexpected development; they wrapped his wrists in ribbon before fellating his cock, fondling his frenulum, fingering his perenium and feasting on creamy cum.


63) Juicy Fruit

She succumbed to the smell of her own scent as she shared the sweet slickness from soft swollen lips.


64) Bound Anticipation

She wriggled in the restraints, heart thudding as his tongue traced along her inner thigh—teasing, tickling, inching closer to the promise of sweet release.


65) Pink Sheets

Splayed upon pink sheets steaming with our sex, we softly pet one another, stroking our seething, supplicant sexes as they swelled with a sensual song.


66) Acute Adultery

Surely she wasn’t the slut Steven had said she was, but she did slip her hand in Patrick’s pants to grasp his growing cock.


67) First Felatio

Phoebe and Phyllis spent their final night as fiancées on their knees before Philip fulfilling their fantasy of felatio for the first time.


68) Girl Exposed

She shivered slightly as the silk chemise sighed from her shoulders, exposing her slender silhouette.


69) The Release

They came together, a rush of ecstasy expelled through their bodies, their senses overloaded with exquisite pleasure as they got lost in each other’s eyes.


70) Tongue Twister

His tongue was tantalising as it twirled around her clitoris, sending shock-waves of sensual, tingling sensations all the way to her toes.


71) Anticlimax

The erratic erotic assignment required tense textual alliteration for the reader; however, the chaotic caustic casual entertainment caused sensual sexual frustration to the aroused author.


72) Bejeweled

The bevy at the baron’s ball believed it boorish, but his eyes were bound by the brilliant blue bauble between her breasts.


73) Fierce Foreplay

He flourished the flogger across her full feminine buttocks, forcing her to flail in most unfeminine fashion before she finally forfeited her fate.


74) The F-word

I frequently fantasize about the feeling of Frankie’s fiddling and fondling fingers between my delicate folds.


75) Surface scratches

I quake, I come, I cry, as crisp cuticals containing curvaceous, coloured claws draw dale-deep down the fleshy fettles of my broad back.


76) The Tease

She slowly slid her tongue teasingly along my gossamer lace panties as I gripped satin sheets and arched skyward begging for more.


77) Undress

Fingertips fluttered over the silk robe before grasping it fully, then letting it fall to the floor.


78) The Whip

Naked as a new-born I stand, eyes bound, anticipation and anxiety in equal measure, waiting for the kiss of that well-worn whip.


79) First Time

Shirley shocked Emily with an education in the erotic elegance of languorous lips licking a clenching clitoris on the verge of vaginal bliss.


80) Humidity

Their entry mixed smoke from the dance floor with the hallway light, illuminating a steaming mass of beating, breathing, bodies in the orgy room.


81) Come Together

Connie’s keen cunt, coming constantly, clung to his climaxing cock in a chaotic chorus of come.


82) Midnight Mass

The congregation winced and exchanged bemused looks, Sister Susan strongly suspected that her sucking his swollen shaft was instrumental for his poor playing.


83) Stamina

Steamy Stella, star-struck and a stickler for style, stuns Stallone’s statuesque stepsister Stormy with stockings, stilettos, a Stetson, and a stainless steel strap-on.


84) Cuckold

His possession, the pink petal under her perfect posterior, penetrated by plentiful penises, each pouring their primal potion into her pulsing pudenda.


85) Kneel

Playfully pulled pants are removed from apparent alabaster ass and each intensely indulgent impact reveals that I’m now never naked with anyone but you.


86) Silky Sensation

A long lock of her hair brushed against my thigh and just like that, my cock erupted with more force than I had thought possible.


87) New Religion

She hung honeysuckle round her hips and swayed, a nectar swathed earth goddess dripping, tongue licking, a blessing of suck and fuck.


88) Aural Sex

His tongue shimmies around my ear, sending a whispered shiver through my thighs, ending in sizzling surrender at his insistence: Scream for me.


89) Written Lover

Writing her, my main character, a fresh lover, she rewards me again with a hint of the familiar fragrance that lies between her tantalizing thighs.


90) The Trigger

Waves of pleasure washed over and through her, his subtle stubble against her inner thighs had sent her over the edge.


91) Drenched

Mark hunkered down, first teasing Jenny’s clit with his tongue, then driving deep inside her with a drenched dildo, until she came copiously.


92) Summer Sin

Under starry skies, she cinches my wrists with satin sashes, then slowly slides ice across my slick skin, as cicadas sing sultry summer songs.


93) Frustrated Feelings

The ropes tighten, feelings of frustration arise, and she fights the urge to freak out when his finger flicks her clit.


94) Lucky

Liam licked the lubricating liquid that leaked down Lauren’s labia until her limbs locked and languished in ebullient climax.


95) Best Behaviour

Blindfolded and bound, Bernice bucks in her bed, her back bowed and her breath bated, bewitched by the blissful buzzing below.


96) Priscilla’s Passion

Percephone pounded Priscilla’s pink pussy, a puddle of pure pleasure pouring out as she pressed, pleasing, passionate cries from her lover’s pearlescent lips.


97) The Pet

They lay on the floor beneath my boots, body languid as they lapped at the leather lovingly.


98) Forbidden

Prohibited passions pushed us past the precipice of propriety to the point of paroxysmic ecstasy.


99) Slipping inside

Five fingers tiptoed over her belly button down the slippery slope slipping inside the craving crater.


100) Split second

First came the slick lick of the whip on her clit, then she felt it: release; that did the trick.


101) Beginnings

He knew she belonged to him, blindfolded and bound her body lay before him breathtakingly exposed, begging him to begin.


102) Sultry Confinement

As she crouched on the scant cushions, seeking respite from the cold, the cage clicked closed, and she prayed it would be a short sentence.


103) The Ice

Her entire existence was encapsulated by the wintry wiles of the wrathful water, frozen near her nethers.


104) Heaven

The soft, supple silkiness of his sack set against the sheer solidity of the shaft, his manly muskiness drawing me in; true heaven.


105) Lunch Break

Martin’s hands wrapped tight around her wrists, warmth flooding her fleshy folds as the tip of his tongue teased, tempted, tore her open.


106) The Blindfold

A heightened awareness raced and rolled deep inside as he wrapped the silken scarf around her eyes.


107) Tender Touch

Careful caresses, coyness as she undresses, desire in their eyes, fire deep inside, fingers entwined, bodies collide, over and over until the darkness subsides.


108) Kimono

Kei parts her soft silks; shyly she bares a blushing breast, breath hot on skin.


109) Enchantment

He came at her command like a spirit summoned, his body enslaved to her pleasure and will.


50 Replies to “Smut Marathon 2020: First voting round

  1. An excellent array of ideas. Pity I couldn’t pick more. Look forward to seeing how they grow later rounds.in

  2. I’m going to be quite curt in my feedback because there are 109 entries.

    Reasons for not making my shortlist were:

    Excessive alliteration, which often resulted in jamming incongruous words in where there are more appropriate, unalliterative alternatives: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 9, 12, 17 (but only just; I liked the change in alliterative letter), 20, 22, 25, 26, 33, 37, 39, 46, 47, 50, 54, 60, 65, 71, 72, 73, 74, 75, 79, 81, 83, 84, 85, 94, 95, 96, 98, 99

    Insufficiently erotic, in my opinion: 8, 11, 24 (would be a good opening line, though), 25, 26, 31, 45, 71, 72, 80, 89, 102, 103, 106

    Felt like more than one sentence. I got penalised for this one in my first ever Smut Marathon entry; I feel your pain: 10, 14, 16 (but I might have shortlisted this if it had stopped at the semi-colon and added a couple of adjectives to the thighs to make up the numbers), 17, 21 (this is good writing, though), 25, 26, 43, 59, 71, 82, 101

    Shortlisted but not voted for:
    6. It ought to be excessive alliteration, but there are no incongruous words. I stumbled over “sense, sensing” though.
    15. It’s nearly excessive alteration and I’m not taken by “shattered”, so it didn’t get a vote.
    18. A good mix of alliterative sounds but lost my vote at “stood straddled before”.
    19. It’s poetic but perhaps too much so, to the point where I’m not sure I’m making sense of it.
    23. Borderline excessive alteration, but without obviously forced words.
    27. It passed my three tests, but only just. Could have done with the alliteration toned down and fewer conjunctions.
    28. I like this a lot. I chose to read the semi-colon as a comma so I could put it on my shortlist, but I read it as a semi-colon when I was voting.
    29. Excessive alliteration, but an honourable mention for alliterating Q, C and K together.
    30. Hot, but it lost me at “leaking lube”. Leaking just isn’t an erotic word for me.
    32. That’s a lot of Ls, but well chosen words. It only became excessive at “liquids”.
    34. Hot, well balanced with distributed alliteration, and would have got a vote if I had more than five to give.
    35. This feels like excessive alliteration in two sentences, but I loved both sentences too much not to shortlist it.
    38. Would have got a vote but for “svelte hide”. I can’t see skin as ‘svelte’, nor does calling it ‘hide’ do anything for me unless someone’s threatening to tan mine.
    40. Nearly excessive alliteration, but strong imagery.
    41. I really wanted to vote for this, because it’s powerfully erotic. It didn’t make the cut for purely pedantic reasons: her skin isn’t ‘naked’ under her blouse.
    42. Another well-written, erotic line with a good balance of alliteration. I don’t know why I’m not voting for this one other than it didn’t spark anything in me.
    44. Bordering on excessive alliteration, but it’s a strong image and I like the use of “cyprine”.
    48. Ought to have made the ‘excessive alliteration’ list but somehow this line makes it work. ‘Beautifully’ was perhaps a B word too far.
    49. I was with this all the way to ‘secession’. Maybe that word has a meaning I don’t know, but it feels wrong here.
    51. This could have been a great line with less alliteration; specifically, “dauntlessly” and “drizzle” felt forced.
    52. I love “carnal kitsune”, but “Neal knew not” feels forced.
    53. I want to like this for its imagery and its restrained alliteration, but I’m never going to find the word “bellend” erotic.
    56. Another one I can’t vote for despite loving both sentences.
    57. A lot of alliteration without it seeming forced, but it lacking on the sensual side.
    58. Great. Just not in my top five. Sorry.
    61. On the border of too much alliteration. I wasn’t sure why “curiously” was there.
    62. Almost two sentences. Frenulum and perineum are tricky words to make erotic.
    63. The alliteration actually flows, without forced words, but it is still a little excessive.
    64. Great. It didn’t get my vote for purely subjective reasons.
    65. I like it, but it nearly turned into a tongue twister at the start.
    67. I like the image, and the full-on alliteration flows just fine, but I have five votes and fellatio has two Ls.
    68. This would be a great first line.
    69. I had to read it twice to see the welcome subtlety of the alliteration. But “expelled” didn’t feel like quite the right word.
    70. This was close to a vote, but for “tingling” feeling like a tad too much.
    77. Another one that might make a good first line but doesn’t develop eroticism in itself.
    78. Again, as a first line this would work. There’s the promise of heat, but none delivered.
    86. Love it. Unfortunately there are four I love more (and my own).
    87. I do like this image, but it feels like three sentences, at least one of which is incomplete.
    88. It’s good, but the last three words feel like dialogue.
    90. It’s fine, but it didn’t work for me.
    91. Good, but “drenched dildo” felt like driving too deep into the alliteration.
    92. Could easily have been too much alliteration, but isn’t. It’s a seductive scene and if it were a longer entry in a later round it might have got a vote, but it didn’t start any fires.
    93. Leaves me wanting more. Close to overdoing the alliteration but pulls back at the last second. Another one that would have had a vote if I had more to give.
    97. Another purely personal pass. Doesn’t do it for me.
    100. I like this but it’s more rhyme than alliteration.
    104. This works, but it feels a little overwrought.
    105. Like the scenario, could have done without “tore”: for me, it’s an erotic word when applied to clothes, but not bodies.
    107. I love it as erotic poetry, I just don’t know how many sentences it is.
    108. If this had been unequivocally a single sentence, the sexual tension would have it vying for a vote.
    109. It’s good writing with restrained alliteration, but it didn’t summon my spirits.

    Votes:
    7. Sexy, and used a mix of alliteration. I like the silent Ws alliterating with R in particular.
    13. I wrote this one.
    36. Refreshingly little alliteration, some subtle rhyme and a smattering of sexual tension.
    55. Balanced alliteration, erotic, and gets a vote for pressing my personal buttons.
    76. A good mix and balance of alliteration, describing a powerfully erotic scene.

    1. Thanks for the feedback, (I’m No. 10) my school was awful and we didn’t actually learn grammar and punctuation, so I reached out to a good friend who is an English teacher as to what a comma splice is… I can see what you mean and Marie has said in her feedback it would have been better with an “and” .. I was actually afraid of using a semi colon as I always see them as 2 sentences linked… and the task stated one.. a learning curve I guess… 😊😊 again thank you for the feedback..

      Sweetgirl (S G Bound)

  3. I apologize for the lengthy comment…but this was a very tough and very involved decision!

    As a poet, I do love a bit of well-placed and powerful alliteration. But when overused or poorly done, it can ruin a piece of writing. Too much alliteration, and you run the risk of creating a tongue twister, which is jarring and can feel out of place to a reader, unless it is purposefully crafted for humor (5, 12, and 60 are good examples of this). It also has a habit of turning a sentence into purple prose – overly sentimental…reminiscent of early bodice-rippers (#75 and #40). If you can say it with fewer words, you usually should. And if you can say it in plainer terms, that’s usually the way to go.

    I’m not saying we should strip it down to nothing, but making our language ornate without purpose takes away from the image and from the story. It draws the reader away from the content and drowns them in the language for language’s sake. There are times when this is necessary, but for most writers, especially of fiction, this is a craft mistake to avoid at all costs.

    That said, this assignment asked writers to “write one sentence including alliteration.” Some people took this as an unspoken challenge to create a tongue twister. And I’ll be honest, anyone who did that was instantly stricken from my list of potential choices (i.e. 20, 25, 26, 27, 29, 32, 33, 35, 37, 39, 50, 54, 81, 83, 84, 92, 94, 95, 96…to name a few). Alliteration is a tool, and it shouldn’t be abused as such. Tongue twisters do just that — take a tool and use it to stab the sentence to death, draining it of meaning and drawing the reader’s attention to the blood left behind rather than the image or story being crafted (if there was a story there at all.)

    Also…I realize it is only a sentence…but it is possible to plant the seeds of a story, stand out as unique among the plain roses, and employ a literary device successfully. These writers did just that:

    #34 “Fantasies” – The alliteration isn’t so overplayed that it draws my attention away from the action, which intrigued me…his wife fucking his own fantasy man. This one made me want to know more, and that is successful writing. The alliteration just makes the writing tighter (wordless, wide, wonder, watching, fuck, forbidden, fantasies). Also, this writer didn’t sound like they’d opened the thesaurus and tried on a multitude of new vocabulary words. None of them jarred or seemed ill-used or out of place.

    #80 “Humidity” – Another sentence that creates a complete and erotic image. Every word is necessary and tight. Nothing seems overused or out of place. It makes me want more, and that is the goal of good sex writing: make the reader want. Great title, too.

    Other sentences had grammatical or word choice issues that left me confused or disconcerted. I try not to be the grammar police with these things, but when it comes down to a choice between two equally good pieces of writing, grammar can become the deciding factor. Also, when you’ve only got ONE sentence to show your best effort, every single word and punctuation mark counts. Numbers 1, 6, 7, and 13 are not complete sentences. Number 10 is a run-on sentence (comma splice to be specific).

    I liked #3 – but the word “mostly” jarred. If that had been left out, I think this one would have worked for me, because even though “onomatopoeic” could be a little over the top, it actually fit the scene quite nicely, and I appreciate a stretched vocabulary, when not overdone.

    #5 is a tongue-twister…but it’s funny enough, I can almost overlook that or accept it as necessary to creating the humor….same thing for #12.

    I also liked #8 as a sentence and image, but I don’t think just plugging in the word “orgasm” makes this erotic. Also, there needs to be a comma before “too.”

    #9: How do you betroth a bond?

    #15: Nicely done. It’s a good sentence with very carefully chosen words. Hot, too. The alliteration doesn’t slap me in the face.

    #16: This also reads as a poem: sighed, thigh, inside, aside. But neither the rhymes or alliteration are especially “in your face.”

    #17: I do love a correctly-used semicolon…and the added internal rhyme of thighs/sighs.

    #18: Shouldn’t it be “standing”?

    #19: Tries too hard with the rhyming, focusing more on that than the alliteration of front sounds. Maybe this writer confused consonance with alliteration?

    #21: I’m intrigued by this one. It’s a nice image/story seed, but maybe too little alliteration to meet the demands of the assignment? (rod/rain/roof, sounds/sex) I don’t know…I’m torn.

    #22: Pick one tool…alliteration OR rhyme. Too much is happening with the language, and I have to wade through them to get to the image. That’s too much work for one sentence.

    #28: I’m not sure what’s happening here. What is the indolent weight?

    #36: But is hunger really hunted? Don’t you hunt with hunger or because of hunger? Shouldn’t it just be “unspoken hunger”?

    #56: Nice image. I like the title.

    #61: Almost too much alliteration…but I like some of the words enough to overlook it. I like the image of flexed fingers feathering…but is it really “curious” that they find their way to her folds? I think not.

    #65: Shouldn’t it be “swell”? And how does a sex swell with song?
    #68: I like the idea of a chemise “sighing.” If it weren’t for that word…this one would have been relegated to the “unmemorable” pile, because, ultimately, a girl’s robe falling off isn’t unique enough to stand out among so many other pieces of writing.

    #69: “Got” is a jarring word.

    #71: “To” should be “for.”

    #72: What did the baron believe boorish? The bauble or his own staring? I’m confused by the structure of this sentence.

    #73: How do you forfeit your fate? Is that even possible?

    #76: Edging toward purple prose.

    #78: A tight image…cracks as crisply as that “well-worn whip.”

    #82: This one tries hard to create a story, but I’m not sure it quite works. And shouldn’t it be “instrumental in” instead of “instrumental for”? There is something off in the construction of this sentence.

    #85: This doesn’t make sense. How is an ass apparent? And “reveals” is not the right word here.

    #87: What? A “blessing of suck and fuck”? Um…no.

    #88: The alliteration may have been too much here, but for that ending! It pulled me out of it and focused me on the dialogue, rather than the literary device.

    #89: How can you smell your character?

    #93: “Freak out” is a jarring term.

    #97: The last word pushes it too far. If you’d left it off, I think this one would have worked for me. It would have been a stronger finish to a decent image.

    #100: This is consonance, not alliteration.

    #102: Very nice. The alliteration forced me to slow down at just the right point…the cage clicked closed… That is the point of utilizing a device like alliteration — to focus a reader’s attention to a specific thing and to add emphasis. You have employed the device perfectly! I don’t love the title, though. Is this really a “passionate” consequence? I’m not sure it’s the right word choice, but I could be wrong.

    #103: What is even going on here?
    #105: Very hot! And I don’t think you’ve over-indulged on alliteration here…it builds momentum toward that final word – “tore.” It adds emphasis right where you want it.

    #106: Who has the heightened awareness? It isn’t clear.

    #108: Who’s breath?

    And others just didn’t stand out as being particularly memorable, good or bad (2, 4, 11, 14, 23, 24, 30, 31, 38, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 51, 52, 53, 55, 57, 58, 59, 62, 63, 64, 66, 67, 70, 74, 77, 86, 90, 91, 98, 99, 101, 104, 107, 109). It’s hard to do when there are over a hundred writers, but it’s imperative for survival in a challenge of this sort.

    This was a tough decision. And as you can see from my comments, it took hours for me to whittle it down to my top choices. I applaud everyone’s efforts! This first assignment is a perfect introduction of what’s to come for both the writers and the judges! I hope I haven’t come across as too nit-picky or harsh.

    I ended up making my final choices from 3, 15, 21, 34, 56, 60, 78, 80, 88, 102, and 105.

    I let go of 3. I really wanted to know what the “one whispered word” was and couldn’t, ultimately, get past my dislike of that word “mostly. Also, when two words (in this case a noun and verb) are fused to create an adjective, there needs to be a hyphen between them (“sweat-soaked). These little things begin to matter when it comes down to my final decisions and I have little else to use as a disqualifier.

    And I decided that 21 just didn’t have enough alliteration to be a contender, though I really liked the sentence. It was a hard parting.

    56, the description of a blow job, was the least original of my final choices, so it floated to the bottom. 60 overdid it a bit with the alliteration, so it also sunk a little (though I do like the idea of a “cacophony of cocks” – that’s quite original!) This one entailed some intense linguistic gymnastics. Maybe too much. But it made me laugh.

    1. Thank you for the feedback, I’m no. 10, and thanks to Submissy I now know what a comma splice is. I didn’t want to use a semi colon cos I thought that would be a no no… Marie has suggested an ‘and’ would have been better and looking back, she is right.

      It’s good to learn something new as well..

      Thank you

    2. I’m #97. Thanks for the feedback! I had gone back and forth about the last word also and ultimately left it in. I think you’re absolutely right that it would be stronger without it though.

  4. Such a surplus of sexy sentences, I assigned an arbitrary ‘all alliteration’ rule to reduce required rumination. This despotic dictate disqualified deserving dramas. What with 109 wonderful, wooing writings, whimsical ways will, once in a while, be wielded.

    Consistent cruel culling cut competition to a quintile – a much more manageable mass – mitigating the fiendishly fiddly function of finding five favorites.

    Among the votes:

    Teetering Tension (33) Got it with 2 repeating alliterations ‘Th’ and ‘T’ – and ‘thirsting to tresspass’ is simply hot.

    Blessed Be (48) was one of a bevy of B-alliterations, most of which involved various bdsm beatings. The imperative nature of this one brought it above.

    Stamina (83) Wasn’t just sexy, but hilarious as well. Stainless steel strap-ons for the win.

    Some comments on the almosts:

    Most of the ones that just didn’t make it missed my arbitrary all alliteration cutoff by just one or two words that _could_ have been alliterated but weren’t.

    19) Luscious Landing – This one cam closest to being an exception to my rule because It flowed so well from one alliteration to the next, and used different kinds.

    98) Forbidden – Was real close. ‘Pleasure’ in place of ‘ecstasy’ would have clinched it.

    84) Cuckold – So damn close. This one didn’t make the sexiness cut – Personal taste only – for me pussy would have been more powerful than pudenda.

    39) Naughty Needs – I really liked this one, but ‘costume’ broke the alliteration train. Finding something that works would be really hard. Knickers would probably have gotten it.

  5. What an amazing variety of sentences and topics! I was really impressed by so many of the entries, but I only commented on the ones that really stood out to me.

    13 – I really liked this sentence – the imagery really popped for me
    29 – Very impressive how you got EVERY WORD into the alliteration!
    32 – Great alliteration! It really flowed well!
    34 – Wow! A twist in a sentence! Great job!
    35 – very clever alliteration!
    40 – Everything about this is beautiful and poetic!
    46 – You got a lot of heat in one sentence!
    56 – Great title and nice word choice.
    59 – I like how you used rhyme along with alliteration to make this a memorable sentence. Love the title, too!
    68- I love the back and forth between “s” and “sh”. Very sensual!
    78 – Great story and clever alliteration.
    85 – Very clever trios of alliteration!
    92 – With so many good sentences, this one stood out. Nice job!
    93 – I loved this story/sentence!
    94- This was great. The “l” alliteration worked well!
    95 – You packed a lot in this sentence! Loved it!
    98 – Very clever! Love your word choice!
    102- I really like what you did here, both with the alliteration and the story!

  6. 11 – Reunion: I like that it’s concise and had a really good pace. The sentence starts slowly, very sensually, and ends in a frantic fuck.
    27 – Slippery Sliders: I think it’s my new favorite tongue twister. Very joyful and cute.
    48 – Blessed be: Just this one sentence captured all the serenity of a well-bruised bum 🙂

  7. 17 – This one made me think of all of the lovely threesomes I have had, and the tongues exploring each other’s bodies.

    26 – I really like the amount of alliteration used. I struggled to keep my sentance to one letter of alliteration.

    63 – I love smelling my own scent.

    70 – Really made me think of receiving oral sex and those tiny shocks that feel so good when the right spot gets flicked.

    2 – Makes me think of those irresistable clean sheets, freshly changed, excited to make them dirty again.

    13 – Sounds like a fun and dirty little secret game to play while around a group or crowd

    14 – Sounds like a fun first date.

    52 – I hear a lot about kitsune from my boyfriend and his written stories, so this one had an obvious soft spot for me.

  8. The ones I liked the most had music in the lines (Tender Touch’107) and/or sensory experiences that were specific and concrete (Summer Sin/92). There was one that was so poetic and painted such a clear mental picture (Moonshine Sculpting/40) that I felt like I was there in the room.

    Some of them were fun in a tongue-twister kind of way (those that relied almost entirely on consonance), but unless they had an driving rhythm that informed the reading speed and word emphasis, it was harder to take those seriously. The best ones used more than one form of alliteration, and did so in a way that complimented the scene/subject, instead of distracting from it.

  9. I don’t know about anyone else but I think Marie has started us off with a really tricky task, I personally found my brain didn’t want to click into gear with this one and I’m just happy I came up with anything at all. I definitely don’t feel like I’m in a position to offer feedback to the folks whose offerings didn’t resonate with me, so instead, I’m just going to tell you the ten I loved on my first read through and then the five I finally voted for.

    7 – I liked this because the alliteration felt subtle and seductive, it was apparent it was there but it wasn’t in your face and it didn’t detract from the eroticism of what you wrote.

    10 – Similar to the above piece I enjoyed, the alliteration seemed to add to the scene unfolding, not detract from it, you also painted a very clear image with just a few words and that isn’t the easiest of tasks.

    17 – You painted a very vivid picture in my mind, which was definitely a thing I need when looking for the pieces I liked best.

    30 – This one was dirty and I was into it. Pretty much the sole reason you ended up in my top ten. Fingers crossed that is a compliment because I sincerely mean it as one :p

    34 – Like a few of the others I enjoyed, your words gave me a great picture of what was happening and the alliteration was clear but didn’t distract me from what I was reading.

    40 – This was truly beautiful, I think perhaps my favourite of all the submissions. It feels well crafted, poetic and the alliteration is woven in to good effect rather than feeling forced to be there.

    52 – With this one, the alliteration felt more punctuated, but instead of feeling like it made the sentence a tongue twister, the chance in sounds used nicely highlighted the features of the sentence.

    76 – This is another one that made it onto my list for being sexy. You made me think ‘ooh yes’ in one sentence and your alliteration added to this.

    97 – Another one were the alliteration helped shape the image in my mind, rather than drawing my focus away from the content of the sentence.

    102 – The sounds you chose to alliterate here definitely adding to the content of your sentence and as I think many of us have probably discovered, that isn’t as easy to do as it sounds.

    In the last two Smut Marathons, my favourites tend not to be the same as the judge’s favourites, or the public favourites, but I always choose pieces that I’m instinctively drawn to. The ones I like here were not pushy with their alliteration, the pieces that felt like tongue twisters completely lost me to the point I couldn’t focus on what the sentence was saying. However, some folks might really enjoy the tongue twister nature and find it added to their enjoyment of those pieces, so I will be interested to see how the voting pans out for this first round.

    Which just leaves me to place my own votes, My piece was No.4 Longing (it was hard to think of harder to write and it’s okay if it doesn’t do that well, lol) so I will be placing a vote for that one. My other 4 votes go to …

    7, 10, 40, 102

    Regardless of whether you got my votes or not, massive congratulations to everyone who took the initial plunge to join the SM and managed to submit a piece for the first round.

    Good luck with the voting round everybody and for future SM assignments x

  10. My favourite entries all had a mix of erotic content and exciting wordplay that highlighted the use of alliteration without making it sound cumbersome.
    Alas I could only vote for five!
    1- What a great way to start the selection of pieces, especially loved the title.
    2 – This read like it was encased in silk, and my eyes slid down the words effortlessly.
    9 – Using ‘B’ as the letter of choice captured well the physical nature of this piece.
    11- Simple but evocative, this said all it had to in a couple of descriptive phrases.
    12 – Another one that used the letter ‘B’ to great effect.
    14 – I could picture this easily as a first date, with a very happy ending.
    19 – A delicious combination of rhyme and alliteration makes this flow very well.
    24 – The scene set here poses so much possibility – I did have a question here about who shivers at whose scent?
    27 – Damn, this is the stuff fantasies are made of.
    55 – Charged with tension even without actually directly referencing anything sexual.
    63 – Clever title encapsulating a sweet and delicious promise.
    68 – Another delicate piece that sighs as softly as the silk chemise referenced.
    72 – Like the crowd at the ball, my eyes were riveted too.
    73 – Fierce indeed, the ferocity if this piece comes out in the wordplay.
    74 – Another clever title that evokes exciting action.
    79 – The sense of forbidden fruit here adds tension to this session of cunnilingus.
    81 – A great nod to the Beatles in this copulation.
    84 – The cuckold’s pride shines through in this pulsating piece.
    101 – This one had me begging for them to begin.
    105 – Oh to be Martin here, on his lunch break.

  11. 2. Appreciated the effort at starting nearly all the words with s. It lost a little, personally, with so many of the words having the entire first sound being different – e.g. “sl” sounds different than “sc.”
    10. Really appreciated the use of the “k” and “s” repetition.
    19. Loved the repeated consonant sounds and the natural rhyme.
    34. Points for the unexpected!
    39. Simply wonderful use of alliteration while keeping a sexy sentence going.
    50. Points for chthonic!
    59. Loved that you included rhyme.
    71. I laughed. 😊
    82. I laughed!

  12. The first round is always exciting, but also, as a reader, daunting. 100+ entries to read through and to whittle down to 5… My first pass narrowed it down to 23, then 14, and finally my five favorites.

    The challenge in this one (to me, as a reader and writer) was to use alliteration without making the resulting sentence sound forced. Some of them came across almost as parodies, others were more rhymes than alliteration, and still others, in trying too hard for alliteration, ended up using words that were not (to my ear/mind) sensual, and took me out of the tiny world of the sentence to puzzle on the word choice.

    The ones I liked best were those that used alliteration, but not with every word, and that used adverbs sparingly. Entries that could invoke the senses with a carefully chosen word or phrase, that pulled me in without making me stumble over the alliteration were on my short list. A few that made the cut for this reason were, numbers 102 and 109 and 34. They were sexy, didn’t overuse the alliteration, and told a whole story in one sentence.

    Some that didn’t make the cut but were *that close* were 35 (the use of the word “humanity” tripped me up), 68 (I think it would have been perfect without the word “slightly”) and 88 ( again, a word choice that gave me pause – “shimmies”.) Other honorable mentions were 92, 60 (made me giggle), 56 and 6.

    Overall, a fun challenge to read and write!

  13. #14- first date – title doesn’t seem to fit- but i do like me some “clenching cunts”
    #43- The Spanking- I’ve felt all of this, and it def meets the criteria
    #66- Acute Adultery- Made me feel something in a short piece and i liked the different ways alliteration was used
    #107- Tender Touch- Poetry and alliteration.. nice!

  14. I’m a bad, bad girl. It’s hard to leave feedback on one sentence. But I can offer up my “short”list. My first picks were:
    2, 4, 12, 13*, 17*, 24, 28, 31, 40*, 41, 43, 51, 67, 68*, 69, 71*, 82, 85, 88*, 97, 102, 108, and 109.

    * = super extra favorites.

    Good luck, all!

  15. 10 pts #17 Three Lovers – double alliteration that I enjoyed here.
    9 pts #88 Aural Sex – again, double alliteration and I could hear the whisper.
    8 pts #28 It Wakes – I like the allusion here that doesn’t tell us anything solid.
    7 pts #11 The Reunion – I felt this one was blunt in a lovely way leaving no question how her face looked and yet never actually describing it.
    6 pts #24 Seeking Sex – the word “shivering” caught my eye here as the context seems open. Is it fright, cold, or anticipation?
    5 pts #52 Mysterious Meeting – I liked how this one felt as I spoke it and it rolled off my tongue.
    4 pts #34 Fantasies – I like the twist in this sentence that the man is his fantasy, not just his wife’s.
    3 pts #77 Undress – written as though a butterfly exiting its cocoon
    2 pts #8 Rhetorical Release – The Lady Justice reference is both proper and hot here with the added allusion of the blindfold she wears without having to state it.

    Comments on three I did not pick:
    #107 – This felt like a run-on sentence. Was not a natural-sounding sentence as I read it out loud and felt as though it was multiple sentences spliced together.
    #96 – This feels forced with no truly unique imagery in the words.
    #14 – Too blunt with the wording. Sometimes that is needed, but for this project it felt too obvious.

  16. I hope the following feedback helps and is taken with the intent it is given. And this is all about personal preference and my opinion is just an opinion, and there any many others out there!

    13) SUSPENDED ANIMATION

    Enjoyed the moment that this creates, the subtle use of alliteration to provide an image of that hand sliding. And just the final image of a smiling face and a hidden hand.

    40) MOONSHINE SCULPTING

    I really liked the phrase “stealing smooth shapes” and the image it created of that moonlit breast. Just enough detail to let my imagination fill in the detail and the idea of someone lying there just enjoying the glimpse. Also a subtle use of alliteration that adds to the overall piece rather than distracts from it.

    68) GIRL EXPOSED

    I enjoyed the background this piece implies; the idea of a slight nervous excitement. There is more use of alliteration here but it adds to the overall feeling of the sentence. Plus I love the phrase of “sighed from her shoulders”

    102) SULTRY CONFINEMENT

    This sentence creates a whole world and a wonderful gap for the reader’s imagination to step in to. Again a delicate use of alliteration that appeals to me. And again the use of a particular phrase “the cage clicked close” a clever use of alliteration to form a sound and an action, plus creating a firm image of that moment.

    Feedback for others that I liked.

    There were others that I really liked but in the end didn’t quite make the final cut. More than on this list but just limited on time to feedback.

    4. Longing – I enjoyed the words and the moment it created. But just a little too much alliteration for me.

    10. Silk scarf – good use of alliteration and a words to create an image in my mind, I could see the moment. I really liked this one and was one of my final choices but in the end I liked others more.

    55. pleasures pain – like the image and the light use of alliteration, again one of my final choices. But I thought maybe “electrical energy” was just there to create an alliteration as it could have just been electricity or energy not both.

    63. Juicy fruit – lots of alliteration but it’s soft enough to work. One of those I really liked, again creates an image and a moment for the imagination. Again I just liked others more for the final choice.

    And feedback on those I liked less.

    And then there are those that I didn’t click with at all. Generally I found I didn’t really connect with those entries that, for me at least, used too much alliteration. Where the whole sentence used the same alliteration throughout, almost like a limerick or simple poem, which repeated the same sounds the whole way through. I felt they were too simplistic.

    And then those that used more coarse language and phrases that didn’t appeal. I understand there will be different perspectives on that. However for me I like to read beautiful words and phrases, with gaps for my own imagination to fill. So anything that was a little clunky, course or just a little too literal or descriptive didn’t make the cut for me.

    As a couple of examples but not picking on any in particular, as there were others that did the same.

    28. it wakes – good imagery and I liked the whole idea but not strong enough alliteration to meet the brief.

    53. Prelude – use of words and imagery just didn’t work for me – bulbous Bellend just sounds really coarse, but maybe it was meant to be a tongue in cheek phrase, but just didn’t work for me!

    84. cuckold – just the use of words, felt strange and forced to create the alliteration and just a selection of words that I didn’t enjoy.

    94. lucky – just too much use of alliteration forcing words to make it work and a mix of strange choices of words with a very literal almost mechanical taste to them which felt like a limerick. Maybe that was the point. But I was looking for something erotic not funny.

  17. 1. I like how the alliteration is varied and you didn’t use the same letter throughout. The title is so perfect with a little assonance thrown in for good measure. Loved the sound of “tight knot of need nestled inside”!

    2. This is a good example of using the same letter throughout but varying the sounds so it flows well.

    4. I voted for this one. I loved it! The alliteration wasn’t too much, and I enjoyed the varied sounds. I also like the repetition of “You”.

    5. G has such a harsh sound so this was hard for me.

    7. Very pretty! The alliteration has a good balance.

    13. Really great story! I want to know more. The alliteration isn’t overdone.

    19. This is more consonance than pure alliteration, but I really liked it!

    20. For me, the alliteration overpowered the sentence.

    28. I voted for this one. This is wonderful imagery. The alliteration is present without being garish. I love that you use “I” in the title. I would have used a comma instead of a semi colon as the first phrase isn’t a complete sentence.

    29. You really did it with this one! Every word is alliterative which is quite challenging to pull off.

    34. I like this story and want to know more. It also felt alliterative without being over the top.

    40. I voted for this one. This is a beautiful scene with perfect alliteration.

    55. I like that you have paired the alliterative words instead of a whole sentence with one single sound. This sounds like the beginning of a good story.

    59. I voted for this one. I love the way this sounds! It is perfectly balanced and flows beautifully.

    60. This one made me smile.

    66. I like this as a story and the alliteration fits with out being forced.

    70. Successful use of “T” and “S” sounds all the way through. I love that the title plays off where we all first learned about alliteration – tongue twisters!

    72. I want to know more about this bejeweled character. The alliteration works well here and doesn’t take a front seat to the story.

    73. I like the contrast between feminine and unfeminine. Well done on the storyline.

    82. What a fun story! I want to know more.

    87. This flows so nicely. Not too much alliteration but enough to meet the criteria of the prompt. Love the consonance at the end.

    88. I voted for this one. This is all about sound and it is perfect for the prompt. Good job!

    100. Love how the words are so staccato. They go so well with the story and the title.

    101. Well-balanced alliteration. I like where this is going and the characters are interesting.

    105. The title is cheeky. This story has a crescendo to it. I love the italics on “tore” – it demonstrates a sense of desperation.

    107. I like the rhythm to this sentence.

  18. Hi writers!

    Congrats on completing the first round. As I’m not a judge this year, I’m afraid I don’t have as much time for giving feedback, so I’d like to start by explaining how I plan to feedback this year. First, I’ll probably give some general feedback – stuff that struck me as good or causing problems in a lot of the entries. Then I’ll give feedback on the five entries I voted for (in no particular order) and then feedback on five other entries that I used a randomiser to select. Hope that makes sense!

    So, general feedback: Firstly, I think this is a *really* tricky first round – much harder than it’s been in previous years. I think there were two ways to approach it – lean *right* in, and write something deliberately over the top, or play it restrained. In many cases, the ones that tried to really go out on the alliteration often ended up losing the sense of the sentence – ideally I don’t want to have to read something twice or more in order to understand it. As a result, people who went all out and did it well/kept it easy to understand were super impressive in my opinion.

    For those who kept it reined in, using just two alliterative adjectives, rather than three or more – I get it. This is what I would have wanted to do, too. But it’s so cautious, you risk your work not standing out. Therefore, people who used two or more instances of two-adjective alliteration, using different letters/sounds each time, tended to score highly for me.

    Finally, make sure you read the assignment carefully – there were some nice sentences that seemed not to contain any alliteration at all.

    My votes:

    1) This is about the maximum amount of ‘leaning in’ to the alliteration I can handle – you got the balance just right. I don’t personally find it particularly arousing, but i can see that many readers would, which is why I voted for it.

    24) I love anticipation, I find the build-up more sexy than the actual sex, often. Also, you were very restrained in your prose here, and it worked for me.

    30) Not my kink, but very evocative. I could picture the scene, which I often couldn’t in this round. Good work!

    34) This perhaps isn’t *that* original a concept, but it hits the alliteration brief and is like a little contained story in a sentence, which I liked.

    64) Again, I could picture what was happening here. It’s not super original, but it does what it’s intended to do very well.

    Randomised feedback:

    87) I’m afraid this is an example of where I didn’t quite understand what was happening – it started off well but was confusing by the end.

    84) Well done you for really embracing the assignment! Lots of it does work, but I wasn’t fond of ‘plentiful’ or ‘primal potion’, I’m afraid.

    18) Ah yes, I liked this. A nice piece of writing which lost my vote because ‘stood straddled’ doesn’t make sense, sadly.

    38) The only alliteration is ‘smooth svelte’ and while those words sound nice, I think you’ve been too cautious with the alliteration, sorry.

    90) Similar to 38, this was too light on the alliteration for me, and I wasn’t sure ‘subtle stubble’ worked. Nice writing, though.

  19. Teenage Kicks This sentence brought to life the night bus as it battled through the rain. Good use of watery words like ‘stair-rod rain’, ‘drowned’ and finally ,’wet, upper-deck sex’.. This story made me think beyond the words. 10 points

    New Religion This is a rich story. The words are a delight. ‘Swayed’ and ‘swathed.’ poetically describe the movement of this honeysuckle bedecked goddess. We go from a gentle bucolic scene to ‘suck and fuck’ by way of ‘dripping’. What a journey. 9 points

    Humidity A very steamy story. ‘Their entry’ is an excellent start as it creates movement in just a few words. It’s like a short film. Great lighting and a close up at the end of ‘ beating, breathing, bodies’. 8 points

    Juicy Fruit This is a very heady intoxicating tale. A moment of pleasure, deliciously described. The letter ‘S’ is used very deftly, as in, ‘Soft swollen lips’. 7 points

    Rhetorical Release The very smart word play here is hugely enjoyable. Like a bonne bouche. The ‘lawyer’s linguistic guile,’ is a memorable phrase. A delightful double entendre. No wonder his clients are getting off. 6 points

    Luscious Landing. I read this aloud. The assonance of the words is a joy. It is the journey of one ‘drop’ told with great skill. ‘Spine pines’ and ‘fleeting, seeping, seed,’ are memorable phrases. 5 points

    Girl Exposed A very delicate moment told with skilful simplicity. The ‘chemise sighed’ is a telling phrase. 4 points
    Discreet Dancing. The idea that breath can graze your lips with an unspoken ‘hunted hunger’ is very powerful. 3 points

    Slipping Inside. I enjoyed how the playfulness of the fingers tip toeing over a belly button is countered abruptly by the grittiness of ‘craving crater’. 2 points

    Other entries which I liked:

    Acute Adultery A delicious tale of realisation. ‘to grasp his growing cock’ is a very lively and explicit phrase. It trips off the tongue most tellingly.

    Surface Scratches A rich and satisfying orgasm. ‘I quake, I come, I cry.’ The use of words is very powerful and I particularly liked ‘ dale-deep down’ which conjured up a great image in my mind. It’s a shame cuticles was spelled incorrectly.

    Silky Sensation So easy to imagine a lock of hair having this effect. The sentence starts very well but after the eruption the words don’t flow with the same force. Though I love the idea that it is a surprise to him.

  20. First of all, congratulations to all the writers on writing for this not-so-easy assignment. You have all done well.

    Please note: feedback is scary, and sometimes you will read things you don’t agree with. That’s okay. Don’t get upset about the feedback, but remember that the people who took time to do feedback are doing it from their own perspective. We don’t all like the same things. Take from the feedback what you can, and implement it when you write your next story. Also take time to read some of the other feedback, of other entries that caught your interest, because you can learn a lot from that too.

    How do I do my feedback? When I receive the entries, I start preparing the voting round in my writing program. Once all entries are in, I copy the text I have prepared into the WordPress dashboard, and then from the preview of the blog posts, I copy the text into a Word file, which is sent to the jury, for them to do their judging. The day after the voting round has opened, I open the Word file I have sent to the jury. I do this, because all entries are anonymized, and I prefer to give my feedback like this, as I mostly can’t remember who has written what. Now I say mostly, as sometimes I receive entries that just stay with me, which means I also remember the author. And sometimes I think I have remembered it well, only to discover I have the wrong entry with the wrong author. Even when I can’t remember which entry belongs to which author, I never vote.

    Things I noticed while doing my feedback were:
    – There were quite a number of sentences that read more than a statement.
    – Some writers were careful with using too much alliteration, and in some cases this worked when the scene in the sentence was quite strong, in others I would’ve liked to see more alliteration.
    – Some writers used a lot of alliteration, and in some cases this made the sentence incredibly difficult to read, in others it worked perfectly.
    – Sometimes adding punctuation or leaving it out could improve a sentence.

    With that in mind, and without further ado, here’s my feedback…

    1) LICKETY CLIT: The sentence is sexy, inviting, and the alliteration is just enough to support this.

    2) SILK SHEETS: Just beautiful! I love that you have used the same letter for your alliteration, and that even though many words start with ‘s’, in this sentence it’s not too much. It doesn’t take away the readability of the sentence.

    3) UTTER: Where the alliteration is present, I still miss something in the sentence, and had to read it a couple of times to let it really sink in.

    4) LONGING: I like that you have consistently use one letter for the alliteration, which paces your sentence nicely.

    5) GENTLY GREASED: I love that you have told almost an entire story in one sentence, and the letter you used for your alliteration works nicely in this sentence.

    6) SLOW SEX: There’s no actual verb in this sentence, making it sound like a statement. This can work in a longer story, but with something so short it now seems like there is something missing, like something should still follow. You had more words left to actually add something, or you could have changed to:
    “Blessed with a sixth sense, she sensed every slide inside, again and again, six seconds at a time.”

    7) ANTICIPATION: This is a sentence I really like. It sets a scene, and actually makes you feel the scene. The alliteration is good, and I like the ‘wr’ repetition in the beginning of the sentence.

    8) RHETORICAL RELEASE: This is another sentence that almost tells a full story. Cleverly done. I just would’ve liked to see a bit more alliteration in the sentence.

    9) BRUTAL BLESSINGS: Oh yes, this is a great sentence, perfect alliteration, and even though you used a lot of b’s, the sentence is still sexy and easy to read. Well done!

    10) SILK SCARF: The alliteration works beautifully in this sexy sentence, but personally I would have added ‘and’ before ‘as’, as it improves the strength of your sentence. Now it feels like something is missing.

    11) REUNION: I like the sentence for what it says, but think that it could’ve been stronger. Maybe with more words, maybe using only one letter for the alliteration. To me there is something missing in the sentence.

    12) BAD BOY: Yes! The ‘b’ alliteration gives the sentence a rhythm that made me think of the rhythm of the belt you wrote about.

    13) SUSPENDED ANIMATION: This sentence would’ve worked perfectly in a longer piece of writing, but as a stand-alone sentence I miss the actual verb. I like the alliteration, but the sentence had to be constructed differently to include an active verb.

    14) FIRST DATE: The scene you set here is sexy and hot, and I like the sound of the alliteration in your sentence, but I feel the sentence would’ve been stronger if the first word of your sentence was ‘with’.

    15) SUMMER SEDUCTION: I like the sentence, like the alliteration, like the hot scene! It makes me long for hot summers on the beach!

    16) SWEET SURRENDER: The ‘s’ alliteration works really well here, and I love that you interrupted it with the ‘t’ alliteration and then continued with the ‘s’. Creative.

    17) THREE LOVERS: If the title didn’t say that this was about three lovers, the first part of your sentence would’ve made me think two people were kissing, and then the next part would have revealed that there were two lovers, pleasing her. Great sentence, nice alliteration.

    18) TIED TAUT: I really love the rhythm in ‘tied taut to’ – beautiful alliteration. I think the part of the sentence starting at ‘at the sense’ could’ve been stronger. I struggle a bit with the word ‘was’ and think it could’ve been left out?

    19) LUSCIOUS LANDING: Oh gosh, I absolutely love the alliteration you have used here. So creative not to use the beginning letter, but the sounds of the words. Well done!

    20) SENSUAL SEDUCTION: Where I like the alliteration you have used, the sentence came across as a bit… clinical.

    21) TEENAGE KICKS: I like the rhythm in ‘stair-rod rain’ and the hot idea of upper deck sex on a night bus, but a bit more alliteration would’ve been nice.

    22) BESTIES: Where I like the scene you describe here, and I like that you have mixed the ‘b’ alliteration with the ‘ou’-sound alliteration, I had to read the sentence several times as I ‘stumbled’ over the alliteration.

    23) WAITING, WANTING: This is the kind of alliteration I really like, that gives a hot sentence like this a beautiful rhythm. Well done.

    24) SEEKING SEX: A very sensual sentence, and I could almost feel her shiver. Nice alliteration.

    25) CARNAL CONSUMMATION: I found this sentence difficult to read, and where I like the ‘y’ alliteration, I think you might have wanted to put too much into this, which means the sentence has to be read several times to grasp the full intent.

    26) SUSPICIOUS: Oh, Sam surely gets around! I like the ‘s’ alliteration and had much fun reading this one out loud.

    27) SLIPPERY SLIDERS: I like how the first part of the sentence has the ‘l’ alliteration, and the second part the ‘s’. A nice sentence; you created a sexy scene.

    28) IT WAKES: I assume the alliteration in this sentence is the ‘w’ of ‘weight’, ‘want’ and ‘welcoming’? They are just too far apart to really count as alliteration. What I do like is the ‘indolent weight’ and how it ‘hardened and rose’. It wakes indeed.

    29) QUENTIN’S COMPETENCE: Fabulous use of the alliteration!

    30) FISTED: I love the scene you have set here. It’s hot and sexy, and the alliteration definitely supports the hotness.

    31) ONE LOOK: A strong sentence, where the alliteration works well to set a rhythm to it, and make me want to read more about the look.

    32) TASTING MENU: Everything about this sentence works: the alliteration, the sexy element, everything.

    33) TEETERING TENSION: I like that you have used the same alliteration in your title as in your sentence. The ‘t’ alliteration works well here, but I had to read the sentence a couple of times to let it sink in.

    34) FANTASIES: The scene you have set in this sentence was instantly clear and so sexy, and the alliteration works nicely to support that.

    35) HER HANDS: Another beautiful scene where the alliteration enhances the feel of the sentence.

    36) DISCREET DANCING: I would have liked to see more of the title come back in the sentence as without the title it’s not clear that this is about dancing. I like the term ‘hunted hunger’ though.

    37) NIGHTLY WORSHIP: The ‘l’ alliteration works well here, although I personally would have dropped either ‘lengthy’ or ‘luscious’ as it improves the readability. But that doesn’t take away that the sentence sketches a sexy scene.

    38) 20 LASHES: I would have liked to see more alliteration in this sentence.

    39) NAUGHTY NEEDS: Another sentence where the scene is immediately clear, and sexy! I like the alliteration. The only thing I would have changed in this sentence is the last bit: “… nylons, her nipples nicely naked.”

    40) MOONSHINE SCULPTING: This is beautiful, and even though it’s not poetry, it does feel like it is. I absolutely love the last part of your sentence!

    41) ELECTRIC: There is very little alliteration here – only the ‘t’ in ‘touching me with tingling fingers’, and I would’ve liked to see more.

    42) CALLIE: I like that the two parts of the sentence each has its own set of alliteration.

    43) THE SPANKING: The alliteration and the sentence are both gentle, which is totally in contrast with the title, and the word ‘strike’. I like it.

    44) SILKEN SENSATION: The word ‘cyprine’ is unfamiliar to me and on trying to find a meaning for it, I couldn’t fit it in the sentence. The image you create here I shot though.

    45) PRACTICALITIES: ‘Potent possibilities’ work as alliteration, but I am not sure what you wanted to say with the rest of the sentence. Sorry.

    46) STEAMY SEDUCTION: The ‘s’ alliteration works well here, but even so some of the words feel a bit forced. I do like the scene though.

    47) GAL PALS: The scene is hot, and switching to the ‘k’ alliteration in the end of the sentence, really works here.

    48) BLESSED, BE: I love the alliteration here, and damn, I love the scene too! This could almost have counted as dialogue, but works well as a statement too.

    49) WAITING APPROVAL: A scene of patience, and the alliteration is nice. Should the last word have been ‘succession’?

    50) CAPRICIOUSLY CHAOTIC: I want to know more about the ‘simpering slaves’. Nice alliteration.

    51) SENSUOUS SALVATION: It feels as if there is a word missing somewhere in the sentence, as the last part (‘he made…’ seems to abrupt. Maybe there should’ve been an ‘and’ before ‘in a thousand…’ or before ‘he made…’?
    I do like the ‘l’ and ‘d’ alliteration though.

    52) MYSTERIOUS MEETING: I like the alliteration here being mixed between different letters, and this sentence made me want to read more.

    53) PRELUDE: A nice scene of anticipation but I would’ve liked to see more alliteration.

    54) ON TOP: I love this sentence, and personally think it would be even stronger without the word ‘single-mindedly’. Great alliteration.

    55) PLEASURED PAIN: Just what I remember of spankings, how the pain transforms into something else. I like the alliteration and that you used different letters for it.

    56) LIP SERVICE: A nice way to give lip service. I would have liked to see the alliteration words directly following each other, and not with a word in between.

    57) SEEING STARS
    What a way to see stars! Good alliteration, and you’ve created a nice image with your words.

    58) THIRST: I like the scene you set here, but had to read the sentence more than once, and feel the words ‘traced’ and ‘tongue’ should be swapped around. The alliteration works well.

    59) RECIPROCITY: The alliteration here is very well done, especially the similar sounds in ‘shivered, quivered, simpered, whimpered’.

    60) SPUNKY SPREE: I don’t think I am ever going to forget the phrase ‘a cacophony of cocks’. Great find, and great alliteration. Personally I think leaving out the alliteration ‘resplendent recollection’ would’ve improved the readability of the sentence.

    61) FILTHY FINDINGS: Nice alliteration, nice scene. I would’ve added the word ‘my’ before ‘firm breasts’, because you also added that before ‘folds’ and ‘thighs’.

    62) REVERSING ROLES: Where I like the alliteration, especially the ‘wr’, I would have left out the first three words, and worked the word ‘unexpected’ into the rest of the sentence. The first three words now feel a bit out of place.

    63) JUICY FRUIT: Oh yes, juicy fruit for sure. This made me twitch a bit, in a good way. Nice scene, and nice alliteration.

    64) BOUND ANTICIPATION: I love the anticipation that you have built into the sentence, and the alliteration is just enough to support the anticipation. Well done.

    65) PINK SHEETS: I love that we have no idea whether this is a man and a woman, two men, two women. It leaves everything to the imagination of the reader, and the alliteration works well too.

    66) ACUTE ADULTERY: I want to know what happened next, especially since the title made me curious too. Nice alliteration.

    67) FIRST FELATIO: I had to read the sentence twice as on the first read I had the wrong meaning of ‘before’ in mind. I think this can be solved by adding a comma after ‘Philip. I like the ‘f’ sound alliteration.

    68) GIRL EXPOSED: Beautiful sentence, great alliteration.

    69) THE RELEASE: I like the alliteration you have used here. Personally, I would have replaced exquisite with ‘pure’ or another p-word, simply because this word is too far away from ‘ecstasy expelled’ to still read like alliteration.

    70) TONGUE TWISTER: This is a nice way to have your tongue twisted, and the alliteration works well here.

    71) ANTICLIMAX: I like that you have referenced the assignment here, and like the words you have used for the alliteration but I find the sentence hard to read.

    72) BEJEWELED: I really like the alliteration you have used here, and want to know what happened next. Did he get in trouble for staring?

    73) FIERCE FOREPLAY: I like this kind of foreplay. The f-alliteration works quite well here.

    74) THE F-WORD: That’s a nice fantasy to have, and another f-word alliteration that supports the sentence nicely.

    75) SURFACE SCRATCHES: You had me at the first six words!

    76) THE TEASE: Another scene I really like, and the alliteration works well too.

    77) UNDRESS: I like the ‘f’ alliteration here, and the gentle yet urgent undressing.

    78) THE WHIP: I like the rhythm of ‘well-worn whip’ but would’ve liked to see a bit more alliteration here.

    79) FIRST TIME: I like the different alliterations you have used here, although I am trying hard to see how lips can be licking?

    80) HUMIDITY: Where I do like the scene here, I would’ve liked to see a bit more alliteration. The sentence is not bad though.

    81) COME TOGETHER: I love this sentence, AND the alliteration!

    82) MIDNIGHT MASS: This looks like two sentences separated by a comma, which could have been solved by either changing the comma to a semicolon, or to add another word such as ‘while’ before ‘Sister Susan’. The alliteration works well.

    83) STAMINA: I love this sentence, the scene you have set, the implied sexiness, and the alliteration! Well done with using the ‘st’ alliteration throughout your sentence, without making it sound too much.

    84) CUCKOLD: I miss the active verb in this sentence. I understand the scene, which is quite sexy, and I like the p-alliteration, but there is a very missing. A sentence like this works in longer pieces, but not as a stand-alone.

    85) KNEEL: Where I like the scene here, I had to read the sentence a couple of times to see whether it works or not and I am still undecided.

    86) SILKY SENSATION: There is too little alliteration in this sentence.

    87) NEW RELIGION: Where I like ‘suck and fuck’ for the sounds, the rest of the sentence didn’t work for me.

    88) AURAL SEX: The assignment said no dialogue, and where I allowed this entry, it’s really on the edge of the rules. You could’ve solved this by replacing that with ‘to scream’.

    89) WRITTEN LOVER: A beautiful sentence, but I would’ve liked to see a bit more alliteration here.

    90) THE TRIGGER: When reading ‘subtle stubble’ makes me stumble. I would have liked to see more alliteration here.

    91) DRENCHED: A good sentence, good alliteration. Be careful with using ‘first’ and ‘then’ in writing, especially when you use both in one sentence. I would have opted to leave out ‘first’.

    92) SUMMER SIN: I’ve read this sentence several times now, and where I like the alliteration, I think it’s a bit too much in this case, as it makes the sentence less readable. I love this though: ‘as cicadas sing sultry summer songs.’

    93) FRUSTRATED FEELINGS: A nice sentence, nice alliteration, and I like the scene, and still the sentence isn’t one of my favorites.

    94) LUCKY: Using ‘that’ is something I frequently do, and when I re-read my sentence, I tend to replace it with something different. Personally, I would’ve replaced ‘that leaked’ with leaking. Shouldn’t you have inserted ‘an’ before ebullient? Nice scene.

    95) BEST BEHAVIOUR: I like that you have used the same alliteration in your title as your sentence. The b-alliteration works well here, and the scene is quite sexy.

    96) PRISCILLA’S PASSION: The alliteration in this sentence works well with the pacing of the sentence, and is interrupted with other words enough not to make the alliteration too much.

    97) THE PET: A nice sentence, a nice scene, but somehow it feels like there is something missing.

    98) FORBIDDEN: A great sentence, with good alliteration, but I think ‘paroxysmic’ should have been ‘paroxysmal’?

    99) SLIPPING INSIDE: Where I love the creativity of the sentence, it now sounds as if the ‘slippery slope’ is sliding inside the ‘craving crater’, and I suppose you meant the fingers? This can be solved by adding a comma before ‘slipping’ to pause the reader.

    100) SPLIT SECOND: I like ‘slick lick’, but feel you could’ve done more to make the sentence stronger.

    101) BEGINNINGS: Okay, where I like the scene you have set here, your punctuation is confusing and makes the sentence difficult to read. One change I can suggest is: ‘He knew she belonged to him, as her body lay blindfolded and bound before him, breathtakingly exposed, begging him to begin.’

    102) SULTRY CONFINEMENT: I like the alliteration ‘cage clicked closed’, but I am a bit lost about the sentence. I get the scene, but I miss something in the sentence and can’t quite put my finger on what it is.

    103) THE ICE: I love the first part of the sentence, but the second part, after the comma, should’ve been stronger.

    104) HEAVEN: This is a sentence without an active verb, which makes it a sentence. This works well in longer pieces, but not as a stand-alone sentence. The s-alliteration works well, though.

    105) LUNCH BREAK: This is one sexy lunch break, and I really like the t-alliteration at the end of the sentence.

    106) THE BLINDFOLD: A nice sentence, but I would’ve liked to see a bit more alliteration (three instead of two words).

    107) TENDER TOUCH: I feel like there is something missing here. It’s like there might be a word or words missing? The idea is good though, but I think you might have wanted to put too much in here.

    108) KIMONO: A nice, tender sentence, with gentle alliteration, which I like.

    109) ENCHANTMENT: The alliteration here is very sparse, and I think you could have made more of this.

  21. First I would like to say that I only recently learned about the Smut Marathon.
    I’m very glad I did!
    This is so interesting and exciting.
    To be able to take part of it as a reader and be allowed to vote is a great honour.
    Thank you.
    But to choose only five … that was hard.
    I ended up with 7 and I had difficultly to choose, so I wrote down some notes to help myself out. When I later read that feedback was most welcome, I thought; Why not? I gladly share my thoughts, (I’m however unsure if one can call it feedback.) But it may be appreciated anyway.
    I’m nothing but a humble reader.
    Ø

    7 ANTICIPATION.
    I would actually like to go as far as to say this is a perfect sentence … still there is a small thought … All the words they wrap themselves around the tongue and then roll off it in a smooth flow and the alliterations are put together most thoughtfully, but “begin” is hardly on the tongue at all, and doesn’t. (?)
    Anyway after rereading many times I have accepted your “begin” and ignore this tiny detail. I think this is very well written and I would say it is about as much smut one possibly can ask for in one sentence!!
    Well done!!

    40 MOONSHINE SCULPTING
    This is so beautifully designed. A moonlit painting. I adore it! … until the nipple …
    I find the word disturbingly real in this context and suddenly the shimmer is gone. A bit unfortunate because I would have liked the lover to be sculpted with the same captivating words as the room was. (But I guess one sentence wouldn’t be enough then.) However I still think this stands out, you have captured something extraordinary my compliments for making this beauty come alive.

    43 THE SPANKING
    This is exciting! But the last part; “in a pleasure infused whisper” … to me it doesn’t really fit. Perhaps because you abandon the use of S … ?
    I want to point out that I think you used the S splendidly up till then. Anyway, I find there are several possibilities for this to become something great! This has so much potential! My compliments this is such an inspiring sentence!

    55 PLEASURED PAIN
    I liked this from the first time I read it. But … “electrical energy” … ? There’s something about “electrical energy”, it interrupts me every time I read it … “electricity” … ? Anyway, I think all the “pairs of alliteration” are fitted together most perfectly and I like that you made them into pairs! Clever!
    It seems that you been given them lots of thought and the words flow very well through the sentence!
    This is splendid and erotic!
    It would be ideal in a longer story I think. Because … I so want a second sentence and a third. I want to read more! 🙂

    87 NEW RELIGION
    Ha, I like this one! … so strikingly easy you play with words. This makes me smile most happily every time I read it. Smut for my brain. (Thank you :))

    101 BEGINNINGS
    Bravo!!
    Beautiful flow and despite the fair amount of Bs it never feels like there’re too many. Also my compliments for being able to fill one sentence with so much emotion as you do. I can sense both the tension in the moment and the adoration the two characters feel.
    This is a “one-sentence-love-story”.
    It’s absolute perfect!!
    Well done!!

    106 THE BLINDFOLD
    There’s a rhythm to this, it flows in all its simplicity and makes it easy to read and feel. It is written excellently, and how well the alliteration is done!
    This fills me with admiration!
    This sentence is a beautiful piece of poetry in itself!!
    Only one short sentence and you fill it with passionate anticipation. There’s an entire erotic story in between the words.
    I can only say this is perfect!!!
    I am delighted.
    Well done!

    Good luck.

    Ø

  22. I had so many entrees that I enjoyed. Simply going to mention that I ran out of votes, but 56 and 62 were other favourites that scored just below my top 5, revision after revision, and couldn’t get a vote, but wanted to acknowledge how much I also loved them ♥️

  23. Giving feedback feels a bit hypocritical, because I’m no writer myself. So first of all credits to all writers, because of the hard work they did. Then, I liked the lines that were -to my opinion- truly erotic (especially 4, 89 and 108). Opposed, I believe there’s a distinction between sex and erotics that was lost in a lot of the (too often bdsm) violence above. Also the alliteration has to be of use, by which I mean: it has to emphasize important parts of the sentence. All lines that used alliteration in just names failed at that. The best in this aspect is line 4, to my opinion of course. At last, all the lines I voted for have a bit of mystery in them, or such I felt. Who are these people? Who is the writer that falls in love with his own character (89), who is this shy woman (108)?
    To all: good luck in the next rounds!!

  24. I’d like to leave comment for entree 4 and 70
    4: I’d say that the erotic part is limited though the whole is quite tantalising. So upping the erotic would have made it a top of the chart entree.
    70: This entree is hot and could turn you on, but looses its power in the end. In this case less is more. Leaving “all the way to her toes” out would have left 16 very hot words. So, less is more.

  25. What a fantastic crop of writings. Like drowning in a sea of prose, but still with elements of structure and movement. Wonderful! Congrats too all the writers who submitted to this round. Good luck everyone.

  26. Overall, I think everyone did a great job executing the first task, submitting sexy sentences and demonstrating a basic understanding of the required literary device.

    If I had any constructive criticism to give, it would be that there were many who were excessive in their use of alliteration. My voting preference was for the sentences that showed more restraint with the device. But, that’s just my own personal preference. Still, I wasn’t overly disappointed by anyone’s work. The eroticism was there in most, if not all cases. So, congratulations to everyone for writing your hearts out.

    𝘼𝙨 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙫𝙞𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙞𝙣𝙙𝙞𝙫𝙞𝙙𝙪𝙖𝙡 𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙙𝙗𝙖𝙘𝙠…if anyone is interested in my opinion or would like to talk about the first assignment one-on-one, feel free to 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗮𝗰𝘁 𝗺𝗲 𝘃𝗶𝗮 𝗧𝘄𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿. 😊

  27. Like many first rounds this looks easy but is actually pretty tricky. Especially when you are up against 108 other writers. I am appreciative to Marie for allowing us to vote for 5 writers instead of 3. Mine were: 105 Lunch break, 102 Sultry Confetionals, 101, Beginnings, 61 Filthy findings and 17 three loves.

    My only other thoughts would be that I struggled with voting for entries that used the same letter for every word in the sentence. Because that is just now real. Plus, when it comes to smut, please remember that that it needs to be believable. I’m looking forward to the next round. Good luck all xx

  28. My feedback for ALL the entries will be published on my blog – I will link that post here as soon as the results for round one have been published –
    But just a little taster – I gave my 10 judging points to – number 34) FANTASIES

    Good luck all – the first few rounds are the hardest IMO

  29. This being my first Smut Marathon I held off on offering feedback due to shyness, but having read everyone else’s I feel compelled to fly the flag for my favourites, some of which I felt were a tad unsung…

    30) FISTED

    Just the hottest, grubbiest thing. I love it. One of my criteria was whether or not a story elicited a ‘physical change’ in me (sans touching), and this was the first entry to do so. Also that final button. UNF.

    39) NAUGHTY NEEDS

    So fun! Here the alliteration could easily come over as excessive but the word choices feel nicely nonchalant and natural. Like the play on the word ‘navigated’ and the image conjured. Bravo.

    78) THE WHIP

    The anticipation here was mutual! I love the casual throwaway line ‘eyes bound’, implying unflinching obedience from the sub, and the characterisation of the whip’s lash as a kiss. Delicious.

    97) THE PET

    In terms of creating the highest level of arousal with the fewest words possible this story easily comes out on top for me. And the character of the pet is so well-drawn, their satisfaction with their state so palpable. Love.

    104) HEAVEN

    I could feel the cock and balls in my mouth and nostrils. So beautifully rendered, and the single-mindedness of the writer’s devotion to their heavenly deity sent me into paroxysms of squirms. An easy favourite.

    Others that I loved but not quite enough…

    21) TEENAGE KICKS

    Gorgeous imagery here and an evocative and sexy scenario, together with some fabulous word use, but I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that it doesn’t contain a single instance of alliteration, which you would almost have to go some to achieve, so it feels like a wilful disregarding of the brief.

    50) CAPRICIOUSLY CHAOTIC

    This one taught me a new word, which, being the loquacious little slut that I am, I am always here for, and I love the use of language and the power dynamic at play, but I’d query the use of the word ‘sanctimonious’ because it feels like an antonym of the word the context requires. In this instance I would have dropped the unnecessary adjective instead of using one that didn’t adequately convey the meaning of the scene.

    And ones with which I took issue…

    71) ANTICLIMAX

    A promisingly meta premise, but the resultant word soup was so over-saturated with adjectives (many of which weren’t fit for purpose) that it descended into chaos somewhat. Admirable originality, and I’m keen to see what this writer does in future rounds, but greater economy would be appreciated, as well as at least a hint of the obligatory sexiness which this story lacked (although maybe this is what the title was alluding to, in which case, fair play).

    74) THE F-WORD

    I’ll admit to not being taken with the stories that used alliteration in every word at the expense of sense, structure or sexiness, but this one bugged me because it seemed to commit to that as a model before throwing in ‘delicate’ at the penultimate hurdle, when the word ‘fragile’ exists, thereby scuppering the convention for no apparent reason at all (of course, as with my last gripe, it might be that this was the ‘F-word’ to which the title was referring, and the story was in fact *designed* to be infuriating, in which case, again, fair play).

    Of the others, the ones that didn’t make the grade were either over-alliterative to the point of being bathetic, or simply not striking enough to leap out at me. With 109 entries an original, idiosyncratic style really pays off. In future rounds I’d love to see writers mining the things that make them quintessentially them, and not being afraid of being met with bemusement or ridicule.

  30. The thing that stood out to me most as I studied all 109 R1 entries was the real split between those writers who’d understood the point of this particular challenge, and those who hadn’t. At this stage, it is both unsurprising and completely understandable that the second of those buckets swallowed up so many of you: there’s a reason R1 isn’t an elimination round, after all, as everyone is still finding their feet in the contest – especially those of you who haven’t taken part in Smut Marathon before.

    Alliteration is a literary and linguistic *tool*. It is used to create mood and rhythm, and to direct our focus to sections of text or speech that are particularly important, interesting, funny or shocking. It should be used sparingly, otherwise it just feels like a gimmick; or worse, like a *barrier* to focus and textual clarity. Alliteration for alliteration’s sake is fine in a tongue-twister (Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers indeed…), but in most fiction the line between judicious and gratuitous use is a very fine one indeed.

    In this round, far too many entries tried to make alliteration carry the full weight of what they were trying to say, and inevitably in most cases it collapsed under that burden. If a sentence – a story – only has 25 words to play with, and if the aim is to create a mood or leave the reader with a particular mental image (especially an erotic one), 10-15 of those words probably *shouldn’t* start with the same letter. I’m afraid it’s just too distracting. The aim of this challenge was not to show that you could bodge together a string of words that happened to share the same first letter in a semi-comprehensible way (I’m looking at you, #20, #26, #33, #54, #65, #94…and far too many more). It was to use alliteration to enhance your storytelling, and that meant showing a certain degree of restraint…

    With all that said, there were a number of entries that I enjoyed a great deal indeed, including at least one that did veer pretty close to tongue-twister territory (hey, there’s an exception to every rule). These were my top 9, listed in order from 1st to 9th:

    13. Suspended Animation

    It came as no surprise to learn on Sunday that this entry was written by the delightful Marsha Adams, who on the strength of her writing throughout the contest, should have won the 2019 Smut Marathon (IMO). Everything about this is pretty much perfect. It has atmosphere and an almost tangible eroticism – I felt the hairs on my arms rising as I read it. It manages to distil one specific moment/feeling for the reader, while at the same time alluding to a broader context. And the use of language – alliteration included – is gorgeous. ‘Sodden cotton’ in particular really worked for me. Top, top work.

    11. Reunion

    When Marie asked me to write an intro piece/bio for the Jury page, I took the opportunity to list some of the qualities I was looking for in this year’s Smut Marathon entries. The first three on that list were clarity, simplicity, and restraint – and ‘Reunion’ demonstrates all three of those. As readers, we know exactly what’s going on; the language used is straightforward and accessible; and while I went back and forth on ‘frantically’, the author doesn’t try to do too much with either the scenario or the alliteration. Good job!

    21. Teenage Kicks

    This entry contains favourite piece of alliteration in the whole round: ‘wet upper deck sex’. Just brilliant. I also really love the fact that until those final four words, you wouldn’t know this is erotica at all – but after reading them, everything that came beforehand suddenly feels sexier and more sensual.

    34. Fantasies

    So ‘…wordless, eyes wide with wonder’ is a really nice piece of alliteration, but I don’t mind admitting that I was drawn to this sentence purely because it’s super fucking hot. His mixed emotions come across so clearly that I could shut my eyes and place myself in that doorway next to him, and it’s no surprise that this is one of the entries I’d most like to see developed into a longer piece.

    80. Humidity

    More than any other in my top 9, I wrestled with where to place this entry – at one point dropping it off my list altogether, before rapidly moving it back up to #5. Ultimately I couldn’t ignore its rawness and its visceral power, exemplified perfectly by those ‘beating, breathing bodies’. The piece as a whole isn’t perfect, but the use of alliteration is, and that counts for something.

    57. Seeing Stars

    Aha, the exception! 9 of the 19 words here start with ‘s’ (and the author throws in ‘encircling’ for good measure), but the whole thing still scans beautifully and I love the scenario it describes. There’s an urgency and a hunger in these words, capped off perfectly by ‘…sucking until he sees stars.’ Love it.

    41. Electric

    Unf, this is just gorgeous. The idea of his hands sparking, ‘lightning hot’, really works for me, and what could feel like quite a clichéd metaphor is handled in a skilful and vibrant way. Bonus points for including alliteration that relies on shared sounds rather than shared first letters.

    4. Longing

    The combination of alliteration and the rule of three is used very effectively here. I’d actually question whether the extra alliteration of ‘lingering looks’ is needed, given how well the ‘longing/lusting/licking’ line is executed, but either way I wanted to be the person getting sized up across the room here, and that’s always a sign that the author has done a good job.

    77. Undress

    Once again, I can picture exactly what’s happening in this scene, because the writing is so clean and crisp. I really like the progression from fingers that flutter to a hand that suddenly takes much more decisive action – even in such a short piece, pacing matters, and the author uses it really skilfully here.
    Other entries that made my shortlist but didn’t survive the final cut:

    3. Utter
    8. Rhetorical Release
    15. Summer Seduction
    16. Sweet Surrender
    42. Callie
    61. Filthy Findings
    78. The Whip
    87. New Religion
    93. Frustrated Feelings
    108. Kimono
    109. Enchantment

    Already looking forward to reading your R2 offerings!

    1. Excuse me… this comment…

      ’21. Teenage Kicks
      This entry contains favourite piece of alliteration in the whole round: ‘wet upper deck sex’. Just brilliant.’

      … How is ‘wet upper deck sex’ alliteration?? I’m confused!

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