Smut Marathon 2020: Fourth voting round

When the third voting round went online, I mentioned the corona virus and its influence on our lives. Many of us around the world are in lockdown at the moment in an effort to stop the spreading of the virus, and all of us are influenced in a different way. For some, on the surface, not much has changed, but for others the changes are major. My heart goes out to those who have lost loved ones, to those who are in dangerous situations because of the lockdowns, and to those whose mental health has worsened. Wherever you are, stay safe, and stay strong.

PLEASE NOTE
On 29 March 2020 I announced that the Twitter account of the Smut Marathon will be closed, and all tweets will be done from my main account, @RebelsNotes. Several of you have followed me there; thank you for that. Since I haven’t checked the Smut Marathon account for weeks, I have decided to bring the closure forward to 30 April 2020. You can follow everything of the Smut Marathon under the hashtag #SmutMarathon.

Then on to the official part of the fourth voting round…

The assignment

Once more this was a round where the writers had more freedom do write a story, and I was really surprised at all the lovely stories I have received. Some of them made me smile, some made me feel love, and some brought a lump to my throat. Fifty-seven writers have taken the time to transport you to a different world, where dancing is central.

The assignment was:

Write a story that features dancing.

Specific requirements:
– Your story is between 275-325 words in total. No less, no more.
– Give your story a title of maximum 2-4 words


Knocked out

According to the rules, only 55 writers will go through to the fifth round, which means two writers will be knocked out at the end of this round.


Readers, what should you do now?

Read all entries, and vote for the stories you like the best. Try to keep the assignment in mind when you make your choices. You have to vote for no less than three stories, and no more than five. Don’t forget to click the ‘Finish Survey’ button when you’ve made your choices!

Please note:

  • Writers are not allowed to tell anyone which entry they have written!
  • You can only vote once. Votes will be monitored and double votes will be removed.
  • The voting round closes on Friday 1 May 2020 at 22.00 Amsterdam time (see the countdown in the sidebar).
  • Results of the voting round will be published on this site on 3 May 2020 and then the author of each story will be revealed.


One last thing: Feedback

I know it’s a lot to read and even more to ask, but it would be lovely if you could give the entries as much feedback as possible, or to make it more manageable, please leave feedback on the three entries you voted for as well as three entries you have not chosen. It would be lovely if your feedback is composed in such a way that the writers can learn something from it. This will be highly appreciated.

Important notice: When giving feedback, please always keep in mind that there is a person behind the story, someone you don’t know. Always be respectful when giving your feedback.

Please note: feedback is only approved after the voting round has closed.

Enjoy reading and start voting!

~ Marie Rebelle
Source image



1) Lucia’s Sensual Dance Lesson

“Music’s your leader; let the beat guide your feet.” Carlos encouraged Lucia, as they executed sharp cha-cha-cha steps to ‘Mambo Italiano.’

Swivelling their way through the choreography; Carlos’s substantial, warm hands holding Lucia’s waist, and clasping her left hand. He was a convincing leader on the dancefloor- Lucia had no problem following his next move. Her execution occasionally fell off-tempo, though Carlos remained patient. As the track ended, he released her, walking over to pause the laptop’s music streaming.

“Let’s take a break, Lucia,” he offered, observing the colour in her cheeks from becoming flustered.

“Drink?” Carlos queried. Lucia simply nodded. They headed to a small kitchen area at the back of the village hall. Carlos took two cans of cola from an old fridge, handing her one. “Pfizz,” they sounded, releasing gassy pressure from within.

Carlos placed his hand on Lucia’s shoulder, squeezing it. “You’re trying so hard; I see that Lucia. Maybe you’re forcing it too much.”

“Perhaps you’re right, Carlos,” she agreed. “I just need to relax.”

“How about this?” Carlos asked, massaging her shoulder.

“That’s perfect,” she hummed, as Carlos’s warm hands worked her tight muscles and eased the knots from them. Tilting her neck to the side so he could have easier access, he became tempted to sprinkle her smooth skin with hot kisses, nipping it delicately with his full lips.

Turning her head towards his, Lucia’s lips met Carlos’s and their tongues entwined, tangoing with sweet, saucy flicks. He tasted the Cola in her mouth, and now he wanted to sample the sweetness from her southernmost lips. Lifting her ruffled skirt, he paused to check Lucia welcomed his advances. “Yes,” was her reply, so Carlos pulled the gusset of her Brazilian pants to one side. Lowering his head between her parted thighs, he licked her dewy vulva. Up along one labium, down the other. Lucia moaned as sensations sizzled through her lips. “More, please!”


2) The First Dance

She gyrates like a siren across the dance floor. Tossing her hair from side to side, the curls catch the salty breeze and carry her scent to me. Coconut and lime. Her dress fits like a second skin, curving around her like a delicate lace wrapping paper. But it doesn’t do a damn thing to hide the gift beneath. Christ.

Sweat beads on my brow. It’s eighty-degrees and the same percent humidity. My throbbing cock makes my slacks feel a size too small.

I pull her close, her breasts pressed against my cotton button down.

“Come with me,” I whisper, the coconut driving me mad with lust. I would devour this woman here and now if her parents weren’t watching from the dance floor.

She nods, her curls wild like her eyes.

I take her hand, the music fading as the thump, thump of my heart pounding against my chest fills the outdoor venue. She sways to the beat of my pulse and leans against an unlit street lamp, her legs spread in invitation.

I acquiesce. After all, I’ve just promised to keep her happy for eternity. I don’t mind starting here, at the base of her neck, at the gentle slope of her collar bone that acts as the northern frame of her two exquisite breasts. My mouth presses to her damp, warm skin while my greedy hand seeks comfort beneath the lace.

My fingers find her soft folds without effort and dive beneath, curling inside her. A purr of pleasure escapes my bride. It’s not our first dance, though her grandmother, a hundred yards from us, believes otherwise.

My mouth closes on her breast, three fingers fuck her, and her hips move to the music behind us. When she cries out, her pussy tightens around my fingers.

“We missed our first dance,” I whisper, nibbling on her earlobe. She unzips my slacks, slides my cock out and licks her lips.

“No, we didn’t.”


3) Slow Dance

”Wanna dance?”

”Um …”

Nodding, I got to my feet. I’d never have dared asking Amy myself. I was only 19 at the time, hormones still toying with my body and my mind. In class, I’d struggle to keep my eyes off her and focus on the lessons.

She took my hand and led me out onto the dance floor. To some forgettable old disco track, I strutted my best moves around her. She gyrated her hips in a cool and understated fashion, flashing her sweetest smile.

The record faded and a slow wash of strings came through the PA.

”C’mon,” Amy said quietly, pulling me close.

I swallowed nervously as I wrapped my arms around her, and we begun swaying to the music. As she rested her cheek against my shoulder, I inhaled the sweet, intoxicating scent of her hair. I’d never been this close to Amy. And to my embarrassment, my body reacted like a young man’s body would. My cock begun to swell and throb inside my pants.

Humming along with the music, Amy pulled me closer. My body tensed up as I felt my member rubbing against her thigh in time with the slow, sensuous rhythm. I cleared my throat. Through our clothes I felt her soft, warm body gently grinding against mine.

”Amy …” I whispered.

She turned her head to kiss me, and as our tongues met, I could hold back no longer. My entire body shook, as my youthful spunk shot vigorously from my cock – hard, white-hot jets soiling my underwear as I pulled Amy towards me, kissing her passionately.

As the song ended, I took a step back, fresh semen warm and sticky against my skin.

”Should we get a drink?” she asked.

I nodded.

”I’ll get them,” she said, ”and while I do …”

She smiled and lowered her voice to a whisper:

” … you can go get yourself cleaned off.”


4) On a square meter

The small courtyard is poorly lit. Faint lightbulbs are dangling on a crooked string, leaving the centre of the earthen floor covered in shadows.
With their backs to the ramshackle walls, three men slowly play a guitar, bandoneon, and violin. Although the sun has set hours ago, the heat of the day still resides and the players glimmer of sweat.

I have no fear. Not yet. Without looking at him I catch flashes of the white of his eyes that penetrate the air surrounding me. I know he is waiting for me to step onto the tampered dirt with my strapped heels and tight skirt. I pretend I don’t care about this vibrating space between us. The music sounds like a passionate sigh of desire, calling me, drawing me into drama, a testimony of tears, life’s suffering, moonlight lovemaking and broken hearts. I take my first step, inexpungable and vulnerable, drawing his attention by ignoring him.

His arms are tight and straight and solid. I lean my upper body against his firm shoulders, brush my breasts against his chest, our foreheads touching. Impelling me forward and swirling me back, he guides me with the beating of his heart, telling me about his life and the promise of his love without a word.

I want to evade him, for my fear has awakened. But I cannot escape my own pulsating desires and long to be conquered, to be taken. The only reason my legs dance away from him is because he then can scoop me back. I wrap my leg around his, our hips lock together, I feel his throbbing passion through the fabric of my skirt. His warm breath whispers my name when I surrender to his lust that found the route to the essence of my femininity.

How he will make love to me later is of less importance. This dancing moment is an orgasm of the soul in which I slowly die.


5) Simply Imagine Them Naked

“Simply…imagine… them… naked,” advised the Celebrant, with a purposeful wink.

My husband-to-be observed her low-slung top embrace her cleavage so tightly that the Celebrant’s nipples peeked through. Clive knows I’m more a thigh-woman, tracing her skirt, parted high-enough to flash her suspender belt.

We both like to look. We both like to watch.

‘First Dance’ lessons were a wedding gift. Three-proseccos-down, we’re pissing-ourselves, because our daunting routine was flashily complicated. Admittedly, our last lesson was cut short: watching Rory-the-dance-teacher kissing husband-to-be-Clive, while both double-penetrated me with their agile cocks, in a standing-sandwich-fuck-tango.

Our First Dance. That’s when the Celebrant advised us to imagine them, our guests, naked.

We cut fancy-footwork short: sold-out to “aaaaaahs” we elicited holding each other tightly, cheek-to-cheek. Breath keeping time, his ever-hard cock rubbing against my cunt as we looked out, imagining our audience naked…

Jase-the-Head: Clive once came so-hard in his face that Jase was too blinded to take school assembly.

Chatty-Jeanette: I slid off her knickers, stuffed them in her mouth, bound her wrists tightly, and slid down between her legs.

Butter-wouldn’t-melt-Marissa: she ravaged my labia with nibbling, and her strokes on Clive’s ass left treasured welts.

Momma-Martin: his shout-out, memorable, as he alternated between sucking pussy and cock pressed to his face.

Greedy-Greg: Clive’s glorious 10 inches had been ramming him when Greg demanded more! We tag-teamed, Clives’s inches gagged Greg’s throat: I wasn’t gentle with the American Challenge in my strap-on.

The Celebrant’s strategy stopped when the music stopped.

Clive and I gave a faux-embarrassed bow. As others rose from their seats as the opening chords of the next melody began to play, Clive and I observed the unmistakable Bee-line made towards us by Rosario and Chide, two guests who were friends-of-friends.

“Next dance?” Rosario shamelessly cut in, whirling Clive away.

“Your Wife certainly knows what she wants,” I quipped.

Chide pulled me close to whisper,

“Patricia, I believe you and your husband like to watch?”


6) Dance of the Warriors

A full moon was the only light upon the ceremonial clearing where two women waited for the commencement of the traditional dance. Linnea and Atrea were the strongest warriors of their tribe and it was time to determine the new leader who would choose a mate. Their lithe bodies cautiously circled and evaluated weaknesses. A whisper of music floated upon the wind. It was time.

Under the watchful eyes of the judge, they drew closer. Arms that carried weapons and fought battles came together in a delicate embrace. Linnea sighed as Atrea rested her hands upon the small of her back. Her scent was a heady perfume of power and lust that Linnea struggled to resist. Although she was in love with Atrea, this was not a dance of passion. It was a battle for dominance and she was determined to be the victor.

Linnea leaned into Atrea, sliding her lips along the woman’s neck as their bodies moved synchronously. Atrea shuddered. Linnea moved closer; their bodies crushed together as they swayed to the rhythm of the song. She pirouetted away and held Atrea from behind. Atrea groaned as Linnea led the dance while sliding her hands forward to caress her breasts.

Atrea leaned back into their familiar embrace as if submitting to her will. Instead, she grasped Linnea’s hair, spinning her body around so they would face each other. Atrea grabbed her buttocks and forced Linnea to lean backwards as they spun around in a circle. Pulling her close, Atrea kissed her passionately while sliding her hand between Linnea’s legs. Linnea was dizzy with the motions, the scent of her partner and the desire she couldn’t resist. She didn’t want to succumb, but Atrea had mastered her. She wanted nothing more than to lie with Atrea and blissfully lose herself.

“Do you admit defeat?” Atrea demanded.

When Linnea nodded, Atrea leaned close and whispered, “I choose you.”


7) The Principal

I’m sitting on the front row.

I’m so close I can smell the sweat from the glistening bodies of the dancers. They are breathtaking as they move in perfect harmony. Rivulets of moisture trace tantalising paths across body paint and I’m so close I could reach out and caress any one of them.

But I’m there to see Him. The Principal. He is the most captivating of all. There’s nothing more beautiful than watching a masculine man move with such grace. Every sinew of his chiselled body is engaged as he moves across the stage to the music. He commands, demands my attention. As he leaps, spins, thrusts and kicks, I can’t tear my eyes away.

My mouth is dry.
My pussy is clenched and aching.
My nipples are tight against my shirt and my heart feels like it’s beating in perfect synchronicity to the pulsating music. I am in sync with him. My body thrums to his every movement.

I have never known need and desire as intense as this.

Oh, that tight ass that I yearn to grab and pull into me, onto me: closer, harder, faster. Thick, taut thighs I long to have wrapped around mine, pinning me in place.

I know his smell; I know what it feels like to have his damp, sculpted torso glide across my naked breasts.

I ache for him. I ache to taste, touch and take him, over and over, until I’m hoarse from gasping, crying, screaming his name as I come around his glorious cock.

I hate that he’s only mine for one night a season.

Our eyes lock for a split second and there’s the ghost of a smile my way as he dances to the crescendo of finale.

As the audience erupts in a standing ovation, I release a breath I didn’t realise I was holding and wipe tears that I didn’t realise I was crying.

I’m ready. I need him now.


8) Le Grand Écart

Mariane burst into the empty dance studio in nothing more than leg warmers. Her hair, customarily in a clenched bun, now whipped around her head wildly as she pirouetted across the creaking wooden floor. Her bare dancer’s body reflected twice over on the mirrored walls. Her taut arms and legs, of pale alabaster, moved under her strict guidance. Every gesture held meaning and purpose. Her firm breasts heaved with controlled breath.

She reached the far corner and beckoned me to step forward with a nod. My body moved toward her on its own; my mind hopelessly mesmerized. As I reached the center, she came upon me in two bounds. Her one hand grasped the back of my head firmly, the other thrust down to fondle the bulge of my stiffening cock. Her tongue explored my mouth with a passion she usually reserved for the stage, now solely directed at me.

In long sweeping strides, she led me to a mirrored wall. She stretched her leg to the barre, revealing her glistening cleft. Effortlessly, she lifted her leg further, swinging it over my head to come to rest on my shoulder – ending in a perfect split. Her gaze never left mine as, impossibly, she freed my cock, rubbing its head against her pussy lips, urging it inside. I pushed my throbbing member into her as I also pulled her closer, one hand on her ass. Her muscles clenched around me tightly from her acrobatic stretch.

Our hips soon ground in rhythm to unplayed music. Her chest heaved, blushing red now with desire. Our eyes locked. Our breaths synchronized. Our thrusts increased in tempo. Our backs arched in unison as we cried out our lustful crescendo.

My thrusting slowed. My legs trembled. Hers did not.

Her leg slid from my shoulder to wrap around my waist. She kissed me tenderly.

“Time for an encore,” she grinned, sliding to the floor.


9) Olympic Dancing

Erato looked up, reed pen ceasing its monotonous scritch. Her friend Terpsichore, Muse of Dance, burst into the room, luxuriant black hair bound up with blue flowers. When Terpsi entered a chamber, attention focused on her.

She wasn’t tall, or slim, but she was spectacular. Her body was magnetic—firm hips propelled by muscular legs, graceful arms swathed in a sheer, white wrap, and marvelously-molded breasts that had a tendency to fall out the front of her robe.

“I—”

“Stop,” Erato commanded. She set her pen down, ink draining into the well, and placed the scroll carefully to the side. Being a Muse of Poetry meant taking care of the implements! Then she smiled and patted the stretch of divan next to her. “Now. Come tell Mama Erato what the problem is.”

Terpsichore draped herself onto the couch, laying her head in Erato’s lap. “It’s a MAN,” she sighed.

Erato giggled, stroking the nearest shoulder softly. “We’re Muses, love. Of course it’s a man causing trouble.”

Terpsichore gazed up at her. “You don’t understand. He Called on me, expecting my power to infuse his dance with enough passion to seduce his mistress. But …” Her eyes crinkled. “You should have seen it! He was terrible.”

“After Calling on a Muse?”

Terpsi shifted, no longer facing upwards. “Mmm,” she whispered. “Yes, he flailed around and almost knocked her over!” Her arm crept out and inquisitive fingers found Erato’s thigh.

“No! I mean, yes…” Erato squirmed a bit until the folds of her own robe parted for her friend. She inhaled sharply and shuddered as she felt a tongue graze her button.
“Dance for ME later?”

“Oh. Darling. Erato.” Each word was punctuated by a lascivious, slurping, lick that left Erato faint. “We’re. Doing. The best. Dance. Of. All!”

All of Mount Olympus probably heard the screaming climax that wracked Erato.
Terpsi looked pleased. “I always hoped my Muse would come for me.”


10) In His Arms

I focus on his arms around me. Large and warm, they envelop me, his hands on my back, making me feel relaxed and safe. I lean my head on his bare chest, inhaling the heady aroma of his skin. We sway to the rhythm, ignoring other couples and groups around us, alone in the crowd. His hands travel down my back and I wiggle my ass. My hard nipples are sliding along his skin and sending shivers throughout my body, rousing the familiar and welcome tingling between my legs. I revel in the sensations I haven’t felt in ages.

His hand slides in between my crop top and my jeans, cupping my butt, my flimsy thong not presenting a modicum of an obstacle. We twirl and rock, two bodies in one. My thighs rub against his, his hardness caressing the most sensitive part of me. He squeezes my butt cheek and almost lifts me from the floor, keeping me pinned against his cock with his hand. A moan escapes my parted lips. I am where I want to be. He spins me around, my feet barely touching the ground, my clit feeling his throbbing need matching mine. I float, letting him play with my body in the full view of everyone on the dance floor. I lick a bit of sweat off his skin, his taste adding to the tingle inside me. “Come, sweetie!” his breath hot in my ear, and I do, obediently, writhing in his grip, stifling a cry of pleasure. I hear people around us clapping and laughing. What?!

I wake up with a start. My sheets are hot and sticky on my skin, soaked in my sweat and juices. The clapping and the sound of sirens filters into my bedroom through the window. I am too weak to join them, but my fever broke at long last. For the first time in weeks, I feel a bit of hope.


11) In Control

She had picked the music and chosen the setting. He was sitting on the chair, like she had asked him to. Watching her move her beautiful curves seductively to the rhythm, he felt the need to get up and touch her. But he didn’t want to give her that. She wasn’t supposed to feel in control of him. This was his treat, not a way to reverse the roles.

She moved her hips from side to side, her back turned towards him. He was mesmerized by her movements. She slowly opened the red silk robe she was wearing, and then dropped it to the floor. He held his breath.

She was naked underneath. He admired her round bottom dancing to the music. She turned around and looked at him, one arm covering her breasts, the other hand hiding her cunt. Cheekily, she smiled at him.

“You want this, don’t you?” She said, as she walked towards him, the last notes of the song sounding from the speakers behind her. The click click of her stilettos on the wooden floor were not silenced anymore. As the music stopped, she removed her arm and hand, and stood before him. Naked and ready.

He swallowed. He was hard. He wanted her. But he felt frustrated that she had this control over him. Getting up, he opened his belt and dropped his pants to the floor.. “Kneel on the chair and hold on to it, girl. You wanted your Master to fuck you, didn’t you? You have been a good girl, and good girls get rewards.” She nodded at him, walked past him and did as she was told.

He grabbed her by the hair, held onto her ass with his other hand, and pushed his hard cock into her needy cunt. His hips were dictating the rhythm now. She moaned. He was in control again. He had only allowed her to play a little.


12) We do love ballet

You’re late and it annoys me. These secluded balcony seats are not cheap and the ballet is about to start. You said you’d only need a moment and that is thirty minutes ago. How hard can changing clothes be?

Finally you show up wearing the sexiest black dress. It fits like a glove and shows your tantalising curves. The sides are open up to the end of your legs, still decent, but man, you are hot in it. It turns my annoyance into horniness.

“Sorry,” you lie with a kiss. Then you push something in my hand leaving me bewildered, as you walk to the balustrade. You lean forward to see the theatre and as your dress pulls tight over your lovely ass, I know I have your panties in my hand.

The lights go out and the performance starts. I sit down behind you. “Why do you like ballet so much?” I ask. “The hot movement of the bodies turns me on. Come, my love, and feel me dance.” I slide my hand under your dress and caress the soft skin of your ass. Your movement directs my hand down to your bare pussy, soaking and invitingly open. My fingers fondle the lips and I stroke your clit. You gasp a little for air. “Lose the pants”, you whisper, while lifting your dress.

My hard dick springs forward and you sit down on it. Slowly you move on my lap and it feels so great. I focus on other things to lengthen the moment. My hands find your breasts and I squeeze your rock hard nipples teasingly. “Tell me what you see,” I ask.

“Horny sluts in tutu’s showing their cunts packed in fabric.”

Alas, wrong answer. My dick jumps by the thought and pumps warm seed deep in inside you. You stand up and sit next to me smiling as my cum drips from your cunt. We both do love ballet.


13) Smutty Dancing

My first clue should have been when I noticed the fellas were prettier than the dolls.

I was drinking bathtub gin in a speakeasy in the basement of a Greenwich Village automat when everyone began singing and dancing in unison.

They put their left foot in, then pulled it out, then put it back in again and shook it all about.

They all shouted what sounded like, Okee-Dokie, then turned around and did the whole thing again with their right foot. The dancers kept turning and changing body parts, as they “shook it all about,” I got turned on.

And I wasn’t alone; everyone started making out: on the dance floor, at the bar, tucked into corner booths.

As I was staring at a flapper humping a baby grand with his pants around his ankles, the outline of my swiftly hardening cock was visible through my seersuckers when the dame that would change my life ankled over to me.

She had gams that would put a thoroughbred to shame.

Her deep voice whispering in my ear made my already firming cock grow. “Is that a gat in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?”

Maybe it was the booze, or the frantic dancing, but I ended up getting my cock sucked so hard when I jizzed down her throat it felt like my eyes were going to pop into my skull.

Being a gentleman, I dropped to my knees to return the favor. I hiked up her skirt and saw a bat and balls The Babe would be proud of.

I looked up into her, his?, eyes and heard that sultry voice that got me hard in the first place, “Hokey-pokey baby.”

I thought, “When in Rome and all that.” I was looking forward to my first taste of man-juice when the doors busted open and baton-wielding coppers rushed in.

That’s how I turned myself around, and that’s what it’s all about.


14) Temptation in Tulle

His father, the emperor, demanded his presence that fateful evening in 1890 at the Mariinsky Theatre. Not one to disappoint, Nicky attended the performance of La Fille mal gardée, utterly unfamiliar with the story. That night, the world fell away as Mathilde enchanted him.

Her thick, dark hair was piled high on her head while her face remained serene as she arched her back and gracefully contorted her body in complex forms that Nicky had never imagined. He couldn’t help but believe that she, with those bewitching eyes, returned his gaze as she lifted her legs and leaped across the stage, the hint of her womanhood winking underneath the tulle. He was transfixed on her exposed flesh: in all the years kept in royal isolation, he’d seen neither the softness of a woman’s bare upper arm nor an unadorned hand. Even Mathilde’s slim fingers moved with effortless grace.

All thought of his devout Orthodox upbringing fled his soul as he became a slave devoted to her. How he longed to taste the spaces between the dancer’s toes, to know the secrets behind those perfect arches; he now yearned to enfold his body over her much like the pink slippers encasing her delicate yet undoubtedly strong feet. He wished to remove the dancing shoes and inhale their mysterious scent, to know the extent of her efforts in executing the ballet positions. Nicky wondered what he would give to trace his fingers up her calf, sculpted more finely than Degas could ever attempt. He stopped himself from groaning as he imagined how warm and firm her flesh must be beneath the thin cloud of white tulle. Nicky clasped his hands in front of him, urging his body to calm itself and not be humiliated by his overwhelming need for this ethereal creature.

He hadn’t yet known a woman, but he was determined that he would know this one by sunrise.


15) At The Club

“Dance with me?”

I look around, into the eyes of a cute brunette. My heart leaps with nerves.

“C’mon Ava,” I say to myself, “you got up the guts to come to a sex club alone, you can dance with another woman.”

I reach my hand out to her and she takes it, smiling.

“I’m Kirsty,” she says, and I introduce myself in return.

The dance floor is crowded and all the couples and thruples and other permutations are closer than usual, twisting and writhing and touching. Kirsty’s hands slip around my bare waist, and I thank the stars I was bold enough to wear my skimpiest top, cropped and nearly sheer.

I smile at myself – Ava, the girl at the BDSM club turned on by a simple graze of the skin!

Kirsty watches my face closely as we dance. Her hand slides up into my hair, she pauses until my eyes give eager consent and she kisses me. Slow, deep, so good, as our bodies press together, continuing to sway to the music.

She breaks off.

“Tell me,” she asks, “what intrigued you when you signed up?”

“School room,” I mutter, blushing.

She raises an eyebrow. Tightens her grip on my hair experimentally. An arrow of lust darts down my spine to my pussy. I squirm and my breathing quickens.

Now Kirsty knows all she needs to know. Her soft voice gets a little harsher.

“This way,” she commands. Grasping my wrist, she leads me down a corridor.

I’m getting wetter and deeper in her thrall with every step, until at last we reach the school room. Lines are chalked on the blackboard – “Please punish me”, written over and over – and I squirm again.

“Choose,” Kirsty orders, gesturing at an array of straps and floggers and implements I’ve never seen. I hesitate, my lust meaning I’m unable to think straight.

“Shall I choose?” she asks.

I nod, mutely…. and she reaches for a cane.


16) Sexy Shivers

I hated the freaking blindfold. Not knowing what was going to happen next, was both frustrating and exhilarating.

“So, kitten, you ready to begin?”

I nodded. The ball gag prevented me from speaking.

I felt my Master’s hot breath in my neck. “Are you looking forward to it?”

Again I nodded, a little slower this time.

“I wouldn’t be so sure if I were you.” He kissed me in my neck.
I crooned towards him, longing to receive more of his affection.

His hand travelled south, sliding a finger inside my already wet pussy. I moaned around the gag. He always knew how to please me.

A cold, prickling sensation arose from my pussy. I squealed as a chill spread from my core. What had happened?

“Dance for me, kitten.”

The cold feeling became close to painful. I moaned in discomfort, as my hips started to sway by themselves.

“That’s it. Gimme some more. It’s only a sliver.”

Master was no longer touching me.

My pelvis moved from left to right and from front to back, anything to still the uncomfortable feeling. I tiptoed around my spot, unable to stand still.

“Girl, if only you could see yourself.” Master pulled me close to him, his chest heaving with excitement.

Liquid started to drip down my thighs.

He spread my pussy lips apart and pushed his hard cock inside.

I nearly doubled over at the sudden, hot intrusion. The cold dissipated as he pounded me with his warm flesh.

His hands found my nipples as he mauled them hard. He pulled my head back by my hair, my body now painfully taut. His rhythmic thrusts were all you could hear.

He was using me the way I longed to be used. His sudden orgasm gave me shivers all over. I couldn’t hold back my gagged moans.

“Now, who was it that said you couldn’t dance?”


17) The Great Rite

The Coven closes the circle, thirteen cloaked figures hand-in-hand, dancing in sync. Three steps sunwise, one widdershins. The soft murmur of voices chant in unison, like the caress of a soft breeze.

In the center of the ring, the High Priestess sways. Starlight kisses her naked body, playing over lush curves. Hips weave in time to beating drums as she raises her arms above her head in supplication. Blue woad paints the phases of the moon across her heavy breasts—Maiden, Mother, Crone.

The heartbeat of the drums intensifies. The Priestess runs a hand over her stomach, dipping lower, fingers frantic. She whirls, energy rising, her breath ragged. As the power builds in her, she transforms, becomes the Goddess.

Something in the shadows stirs. The Horned God rises.

When he joins the circle, he fastens dark eyes on the Goddess. For a sliver of eternity, he studies her. Then, without a word, he closes the distance between them to claim her as his consort with a kiss. She arches her back and moans against his mouth.

The Coven’s chanting grows frenzied as they dance ‘round the couple.

The Horned God drops his robes and lays the Goddess down on a bed of moss and moonlight. He teases her with teeth and tongue, strong hands sliding up her thigh. She reaches for him, stroking velvet clad steel and guides him to her heat. In one smooth stroke, he thrusts inside.

The drums mirror the pair’s rhythm, starting slow before building to a feverish pace. Power roils off their heaving bodies, shimmering like a heat mirage. The Goddess shudders in his grasp, and the Horned God throws back his head and howls at the silver moon. Thunder claps in a cloudless sky, the ground quakes.

Then everything stills. The chanting dies and drums cease. The Coven whispers, “Blessed Be,” and slips away.

Divinity departs, leaving a woman and her lover, alone in each other’s arms.


18) All That Jizz

Gigi entered stage left, red heels tapping a rhythm. She struck a pose in the center of the floor: one leg crossed in front of the other, fedora tipped low.

Dress rehearsals were Sam’s favorite part. He mimed opening the curtain and she swept her front leg in a wide arc, raising her head to smirk at the “audience”. She slid her eyes towards Sam and popped two buttons on her tuxedo shirt.

That…was not in the practice sessions. What have she and Mina been up to?

Gigi curled her fingers, beckoning her partner. Mina riff-walked across the floor, holding her cane firmly across her breasts.

The cane was much thicker than he remembered, and bounced at the tips.

It was a fat, black double-dong.

Mina stepped up under Gigi’s chin and whipped the cane around Gigi’s waist. Gigi tipped her head, tracing Mina’s plump lips with her tongue. She fanned both hands over Mina’s ass and slowly raised the sequined skirt ruffle to reveal her crotchless hot pants. Mina’s pale brown ass begged for Gigi’s hard, reddening slap. Sam clenched his toes at Mina’s growl of pleasure and thanked god they picked a short song.

Mina spun Gigi around and spanked her with the double-dong as payback. Gigi bent forward at the waist, skirt revealing identical shorts. Mina teased Gigi’s clit with one end of the dong and flicked her tongue against Gigi’s asshole. Gigi’s moans grew louder. She tore open her shirt and pinched her nipples, calling out for Sam.

“A little help?” Mina waggled the dong at him.

Both women crept to their hands and knees in sync. Sam edged the dong’s thick heads into their muffs until the toy disappeared inside, then sandwiched his cock between their upturned bottoms. Mina and Gigi rocked faster and faster toward climax. A tingle ran through Sam’s midsection and he spurted to the rhythmic slap of their flesh against his jazz trio.


19) Dance of Submission

Annie knelt; her body bent in supplication, candles cast shadows outlining her soft curves. Gracefully rising, stretching towards the ceiling as Master pulled the chains. Sinewy arm muscles strained when the bindings slid into the hook. Annie’s breath caught as she anticipated her mind and body dancing to a symphony in sadism.

She heard the whoosh of the flogger, stinging her skin just below the neck. Annie bit back the scream, her pelvis thrusting forward, her back arched. She fought the pain, breathing heavily as her mind struggled to absorb the fiery sensations.

The flogger silently caressed her shoulder blades, touching her with gentleness. Annie’s body relaxed, she smiled, thinking about how well her Master captured the balance between tenderness and torture. The next instant, her body writhed in pain; her midsection pushed forward as the flogger connected. Thus, began the dance, not choreographed nor perfect. Each movement overflowed with the emotion of submission; the delicate balance between pain and pleasure.

The strokes continued. Annie’s skin marred as leather connected, indenting her back, drawing a beautiful arch. Repeatedly Nick flogged her skillfully, forcing Annie to twist, to strain, to feel each lash. Tears flowed, dancing between drops of perspiration. Her head lowered as Annie fought for breath after each stroke, each one for him.

Leather bit into her ass; her body shuddered, she emulated the moves of the best belly dance, her hips writhed sinuously, drawing a figure of eight as the flogger danced across alabaster flesh turning it to a vivid red. Deftly he focused on each moving welted globe, her body lurched forward, legs flexing until her toes pointed.

Finally, Nick struck her knees with the flogger before reaching up to release the bindings. Annie quivered, settling on the ground, body folded gracefully over bent legs, arms lowering, skimming along the surface of the floor, turning palms upwards.

“Yours,” she breathed.


20) Shattered and Put Together

Their first dance had been to a swing cover of “I Kissed A Girl”. It had seemed so subversive at the time. Could it have been? Watching back their wedding video, Eve struggled to remember there had been a time when this wasn’t just… normal. The grainy video – wow, phone cameras were terrible back then – dissolved the other guests into pixelated blocks, leaving just Eve and Jasmina swirling around alone on the dancefloor.

Her mind skipped back to other firsts. Their first meeting in pottery class. Moist, clay-covered hands accidentally reaching for the same wonky pitcher. Their first date, so lovestruck (or tipsy) that they got the wrong night bus and ended up stranded thirty miles outside Manchester. Their first fuck, that very same night. In a haystack, so much pricklier than either had imagined, and too cold to even take their coats off. Jasmina’s right hand finding it way through all her layers, into her jeans, her knickers. Her left hand over Eve’s mouth, stifling the moans. Her mouth whispering “We don’t want to wake the farmer, do we?” The orgasm, a strange type she’d never felt before, neither a slow throb nor a sudden explosion but a long drawn out shiver, a surrendering into Jasmina’s arms.

Their first fight. Eve’s first pot shattered on the carpet. And the furious make up sex. Jasmina, pinned between Eve’s thighs, tonguing “SORRY” letter by letter over and over on her clit. Eve teasing, teasing, teasing and then at last wickedly turning the vibrator up to its very highest setting and pressing it hard against Jasmina’s desperate cunt. Jasmina orgasming helplessly beneath her and, riding her wife’s face, Eve herself coming like a thunderstorm, all the anger raining out of her.

Their dance was over, and the pixelated guests applauded. Ten years ago today. Jasmina’s hand squeezed Eve’s thigh. This was her life, and she couldn’t imagine life any other way.


21) A Very Personal Performance

He slipped into the packed auditoreum just as the lights came down. Without a ticket, he kept to the shadows of the side draperies. It was just as well; she would be furious to see him here. A spotlight snapped on, revealing on stage the glittering back of a tuxedo jacket and a soft bundle of curls topped by a white trilby hat. At the first note of the music, she flicked her head to the side and displayed her smiling profile. Even at a distance, he could see the glossy red lipstick and long lashes of stage makeup. An erection began to stir in his trousers. Under the sequinned coat, she wore a brilliant white pleated shirt, a ribbon-thin bow tie, sheer black hose, and shining patent leather heels. In her white-gloved hands was a white-tipped walking stick. As the melody rolled out, she began swaying, then twirled the black rod and launched into her routine. She tossed her head back, thrusting her tightly corsetted breasts forward and reaching skyward. He remembered how she used to stretch this way, her hair tumbling back as he thrust into her. His prick now strained uncomfortably against his pants. As she kicked and strutted and sashayed through her steps, he recalled how those trim and muscular legs had felt wrapped around him, locking his body to hers. When the music reached its energetic finale, she planted her long legs and snapped her hips from side to side. He remembered feeling that move, feeling it with him buried inside her. It was as if she were tearing at his roots, pulling the life out of him, even as he strained to give himself to her. She twirled the walking stick and dipped her head in a bow, then lifted her flushed but smiling face to the crowd. He snuck noiselessly out, anxious not to reveal the stained bulge below his belt.


22) Friday night in Dahab

She deserves to have fun and he looks interesting. As Mounia gets another Daiquiri at the bar, she makes eye contact and smiles. It had been the worst week at work, and a boozy night out always gives her the confidence to make decisions her sober-self might regret.

Walking back to the dancefloor, Mounia takes her time, knowing exactly how fantastic she looks. Her friends shout her name and wave, as if she’d have any trouble finding them. Raya is dancing barefoot on a table while some German college students cheer her on; Marwa is singing the song out loud (and off-key!) with the cute Dutch girl she met earlier. A vibrant international nightlife is the upside of living in a flashpacker paradise.

Mounia turns around to see if the guy followed her. He did, and they dance, pretending to make conversation as their bodies get to know each other. He smells like the beach and tequila, he smiles like a pirate on vacation. She hasn’t had sex since her breakup 4 months ago and she’s ready to speed things up but he’s still talking. Tourists always talk about whatever experience they just paid for. He talks about snorkeling, the “authentic” Bedouin dinner last night. She interrupts him with a kiss, and they make out like tipsy teenagers as the DJ plays an Oum Kalthoum House remix. She wants him. She guides his hands down her waist when he starts talking again, this time he tells her how much he loves the music: “Arabic music is so sensual! And belly dancing! Will you belly dance now? All Arab girls can belly dance right?”

Just like that, the magic is over. Mounia isn’t offended, she’s annoyed because her fun is ruined. She could explain, but she doesn’t bother. Instead she goes back to dancing with her friends. The downside of living in a flashpacker paradise? Tourists think you’re part of the tour. Another “authentic” local experience.


23) Lord of the Dance

“C’mon laddie! A free festival! Music, beer; we can take my tent!” I shrugged, noncommittally. Gus tried again; “There’ll be girls,” he said slyly, pronouncing it ‘gerulls’ in his soft, Scots lilt.

So, we went. Glastonbury it wasn’t. A field close to nowhere, a basic stage, an ancient generator and an awful sound system. But that was OK, the bands sucked anyway.

That evening, when the generator finally ran out of diesel, we built a vast bonfire, radiating heat into the already balmy midsummer’s night.

Someone produced an acoustic guitar; a tin whistle and some bongos appeared; real music was made. And we danced.

That’s where I saw her for the first time, circling the fire, leading the throng, joyous and chaotic. Tanned skin, bronze in the firelight; flowing hair, jet black; a latter-day nymph, born to celebrate the solstice.

As she swirled past the first time, I’m sure she caught my gaze, and winked. Or it could have been the sparkle of the fire light.

The next time her wild cavort brought her near me, I know she smiled, extending a hand in invitation; then the swirl of bodies whipped her away again.

Gus nudged me, drunkenly. “Tha’ lassie digs ye, ye ken?”

The third time she whirled past, she threw her balled-up shirt at me, laughing “C’mon, join in!” over the hubbub of the dance. She captured my hand as she galloped past and dragged me into the frenzied circle of revellers.

Now the firelight glazed her bare breasts; perfect taut globes so mesmerising, I might have stumbled into the fire if she had not caught me. But she had caught me, completely, utterly. And she led me round the blaze leaping and laughing in joyous triumph, as if I were Pan, summoned by her ritual on this midsummer’s night.

And afterwards? Well, let’s just say Gus didn’t get to use his tent; but it was a warm night, so he ‘didnae mind’.


24) All By Myself

You said I couldn’t manage my own life, that without you, I wouldn’t make it through a month without falling apart. Maybe you were right, but I kicked you out anyway. I’d rather disintegrate on my own terms than wilt under your benevolent dictatorship any longer.

Which is exactly why I went out clubbing, something that would horrify your overprotective sensibilities. Alone? Dancing? The risks!

Hard-edged, pounding bass squeezes my sternum and throbs in my stomach. Overhead, smoke and green laser-light wreathe languorous patterns, stroking the air with lovers’ hands. I move with them, following their curves.

Why have I not done this for so long? Because I might get broken; fall, dislocate, sprain, snap, splinter. Another trip to A&E, another dreary round of casts and rehab. Painful, tedious; not worth it, you said. Not sexy.

But this is sexy. Heat, darkness and pounding music, so many crowded-in bodies that it‘s impossible not to brush against each other as we dance; all of this is lighting me up. It’s heady freedom and thrilling danger, even in my flat boots and knee-braces. I’m out alone.

I don’t stay late. Just long enough to get sweaty and breathless, breathe in fuck-me pheromones and taste my own agency. Only until I can’t wait any longer.

Home safe, I lock the front door and set the shiny new bolt, already yanking off my coat with one hand. The other goes between my legs, balled into a fist for me to squirm against. I need both hands to get my dress off though, and to unhook my bra so I can pinch and tweak at my swollen nipples. Ohh…yes…

Greedily, I tear the crotch of my flimsy fishnets apart, shove my knickers aside and slide two fingers through my wetness, back and forth.
Fuck me, I whisper, do me til it hurts.

And I will.
All by myself.


25) Cabin boi

Ok, he was definitely interested. Having made eye contact with the dark-haired dish beside the hotel pool yesterday, Avery – shy, unconfident, but tipsy Avery – had sidled up to him at the bar earlier this evening and was now being led to a beach-side cabin. Yep, definitely interested.

Definitely dominant too. Kyle had introduced himself immediately and steered the conversation as confidently as he now steered Avery into the bedroom. A wall of patio doors was opened, allowing the sea air to tousle silk curtains. Moonbeams were barely held back by low-level lamps. Kyle put on some slow, quiet music.

‘Will you dance for me?’ he coyly asked.

Avery hesitantly complied and began dancing, then reasserted power by removing clothes as part of the performance – they were soon entirely naked. Subtle movements displayed every inch of a strong, firm body, allowing an enraptured Kyle to choose whether to take or be taken.

During the brief pause between tracks Avery fell upon Kyle and took his standing ovation between salivating lips. The next track began to fade, Kyle edged away.

‘Dance,’ he instructed again.

Avery obeyed, although movement was now hindered by tumescent flesh. A cool breeze teased the dancer’s bare behind and maintained Kyle’s arousal. Two hard cocks now stood proud and expectant.

‘Come get your reward,’ Kyle said.

Without hesitation Avery straddled Kyle, two powerful bodies satisfyingly slotting together like the final piece of a jigsaw. Condom and lube were applied and Kyle’s cock eased between Avery’s buttocks.

Kyle’s confidence and the coconut smell of sunscreen on his dark skin were a heady accompaniment to how perfectly he filled Avery’s most intimate orifice. Throughout the night shadows of the two lovers danced in time with the sound of waves melting into sand.


26) Dancing dirty

Some nights, I hardly noticed them. They filed in, drank, leered, and hollered, then stumbled out in predictable fashion. Driven not by them, but by my own desires, I would close my eyes, quiet my mind, and connect to the primal rhythm aching to inhabit my movements. The firmness of the cool pole in my hands grounded and released me as I pulled my body close to it, wrapped my legs around it, and gave in.

But tonight was different. The bar had just filled and my song was still at the tail end of a long que when I noticed him. He was tall with a dark tangle of hair and piercing blue eyes that caught me in their crosshairs from across the crowded room. The music was barely perceptible over my heartbeat as I made my way to his table.

He didn’t resist when I took his hand and pulled him to his feet.

He didn’t resist when I lead him past the stoic-looking Russian security guard and into a private room at the back of the club.

And he didn’t resist when I pulled my dress over my head and pushed him down onto the leather loveseat behind him.

He watched me hungrily as I peeled off my bra and panties, slick with sweat and longing, and slid my hands up his thighs. His breathing fell in time with the dirty baseline as I pulled myself, inch by inch, up his body and onto his lap, my hair falling softly across him. Grinding my hips in slow circles, I felt him growing harder underneath me. As if with a mind of its own, my hand slipped under his waistband.

“Fuck,” I moaned, his cock hard and pulsing in my hand.

Defying all protocols, he reached back to latch the door behind him. He paused, eyes full of hunger and mischief, before unzipping his pants.

This time it was me who didn’t resist.


27) Danse Macabre

We ran through the rubble hand in hand, the echoes of the Jitterbug lost to the ominous drone of the Doodlebug above. That night was to be our last together.

I had only met Rosie days before; my accent a lure as she queued for rations. We both knew the intensity of war made passions run high. Yet we didn’t care, grabbing every moment we could during my short furlough.

Moments before we had been surrounded by a cacophony of couples jiving and swinging, with girls thrown high and the big band sound filling the dance hall. It was ironic that the spectre of death made the dance floor thrum with such vibrant life.

Rosie’s skirt billowed and flowed as we twisted and hopped to the fast beat. Her dark eyes flecked by the glitter ball above. Spinning her close, our bodies pressed tight for a beat, she flashed me a smile as she spiralled away again. Before I had another chance to pull her near, the wail of the air-raid sirens drowned out the band.

Breathless, we crashed through the door of the Anderson shelter, leaving the sounds of dance and war behind. Her lips were on mine in an instant. Lifting her skirt, my fingers slid along rough nylons and over garter belts, finding her wet and needy. Rosie’s urgent hands pulled at my belt, already grasping for my cock.

No time for grace, just the need to experience each other. I pressed inside, her gasp hot in my ear as she pulled me deeper. Each thrust an act of rebellion against the deadly world outside. We fucked all through that dark night, while distant bombs fell.

I never did dance with Rosie again. Swept away by war, I never returned to England. Yet during the dark days ahead, it was the memory of her smile I held on to, grateful for the comfort it brought during the savage opera of battle.


28) Three, The Magic Number

All eyes had been on her the moment she walked into the club, but that was entirely the point; Chel chose the form-fitting red dress explicitly to catch the attention of every man there – even though her own interests lay with two specific men whom she knew to be in attendance.

The twins followed her from their booth to the dancefloor, wearing identical mischievous smiles as they circled – lions stalking their prey – only they were mistaken if they thought they were playing the predator tonight.

Chel began to sway, her hands upon her hips, steadily tracing up her curvaceous frame, pausing to cup her breasts, fingers tracing along her collarbone to the back of her neck until her fingers entwined in her hair, her eyes never leaving theirs.

Orrin stepped forward first. He slid his hand around her waist pulling her body against his, hand slowly drifting under the slit of her skirt to touch her silken thigh, pushing his hips against hers and moaning softly in her ear, his erection pressed into her buttocks as his hand trembled against her inner thigh, thumb brushing against her lips as he discovered her lack of panties.

She reached out a hand to Lander and he took it, pulling her into his own arms. Chel placed a hand against his muscled chest as he wrapped an arm around her back, dipping her and growling as he kissed her neck, his other hand moving to touch her breast, his heart racing under her palm.

As he pulled her upright Orrin joined them once more, the three of them close as they swayed to the music, Chel shivering in delight at the feeling of their bodies against hers, their erections pressed against her from both sides, their hands exploring her body. Tonight, they were hers.


29) Microcosms Of Natural Order

The time has come.

Serafina gazes longingly upwards at the points of light far above her, reflecting on what brought her to this moment. Repetitive drills, honing her technique and carefully marking the steps. The import of the task demanded perfection. Her movements must be natural, flawless, elegant. Serafina lowers her eyes to the horizon, alighting them on an approaching figure. She can feel her body respond instantly, a dull throbbing ache building within her. Finally ready, she descends from her perch.

Harald’s body is lithe and strong, muscled from his training and the countless repetitions which have brought him to this point. The calmness of his face masks the turmoil of terror and desire which fuels every step towards his destination. He sees someone coming towards him and he tenses, ready to release at just the right moment.

As if through agreement, Serafina and Harald increase their pace before breaking into a run. Simultaneously, they leap into the air, allowing their instincts to take over and guide them. The figures spin, whirling and circling each other with choreographed grace in the wind before colliding like a thunderclap in the half light. Their movements back and forth are tentative at first, but match each other perfectly. This is what their separate training has wrought, the perfect union of souls expressed in a rolling, twisting dervish of carnal desire.

Sensing the right moment, Harald lifts Serafina to him and slides into her, clamping his mouth over a nipple as she gyrates wildly to the unheard rhythm. The ferocity of their fucking increases with a skill borne from those hours of practice. Then with a soundless cry and a final powerful thrust, the pair of fairies explode into a thousand dandelion seeds, the morning sunlight twinkling amongst them as they drift into the air.

The day will continue as ordained, followed by a peaceful night. As for tomorrow, only time and the Dance of Morning will tell.


30) Introduction to the Dance

Sally was attending the wedding of Mandy and Paul, a couple she had met on holiday the previous year. It was a token gesture because she couldn’t dance.

A guy approached her, introducing himself as Mike, Paul’s brother and the best man. He asked if she would like to dance.

“I don’t dance” she replied in a sharp manner.

When the DJ announced the final song and Mike made a beeline for Sally.

Taking hold of her hand and gently pull her onto the dance floor. He lifted her arms up and put them around his neck then grabbed her backside pulling her tight against him. She could smell his heady cologne and feel the heat of his body.

They stood there slowly rocking to the beat of the sensual music. Mike lightly nibbled her ear, sending tingles right down Sally’s spine to her most intimate parts.

The music stopped, the lights came up. Sally kissed him. Mike asked her if she would like to go up to his room. Sally flashed her eyes and nodded.

In his room, Mike kicked off his shoes and removed his sweat-stained shirt revealing his well-toned body. Sally unzipped her dress and let it fall from her body. Her full breasts and shapely body came into view making Mike take a sharp breath. Removing their clothes and Sally pushed Mike onto the bed and straddled him allowing his manhood to enter the body.

She pushed down on it letting out a gasp as he filled her sex to its limits. There was no foreplay just raw sex. Their coupling only lasted minutes such was the sexual tension each of them felt.

They lay there fighting for breath, the deed done.

If this is dancing, then I wonder if? Sally thought as she slowly drifted into a deeply satisfying sleep.


31) Teachers Pet

Superfruit ask, “How You Feeling?” and every Year 12 student at the prom silently answers, “Horny.”

Liam and I have drifted to a dark corner of the gym, away from judgmental eyes. We’re not exactly dancing; it’s more like two hormone-flooded bodies swaying around intangible desire. We want contact: to touch and be touched, without regard to artistry, rhythm or grace.

His hand reaches round, grabs my bottom, pulls me closer. Desire becomes tangible: rock-solid and pressing against my belly.

This is so wrong. Wrong time, wrong place, wrong on every level. I pull away.

That was wrong too. I’ve made a gap between us, enough space for his hand to find my knee, to slide under my pleated skirt. I should stop this, but my feet betray me. They know the path to heaven and shuffle apart to show him the way.

As his fingers stutter up my thigh, I can’t tell which of us is trembling. When his thumb brushes my panties, I recognise it’s me and that I need more of this awful, glorious, shivering fever.

He tugs damp cotton aside. “You’re so wet,” he whispers, and fumbles a finger deep inside me.

I don’t want that. I want a cock. Any cock. Liam’s is straining against taut cloth, eager to be chosen, but when I cup it he gasps so loudly I’m worried he’ll be heard over the music. Our roles reverse: it’s his turn to shudder, mine to feel wet warmth on my hand. A damp patch blooms around his fly.

Now I’m scared. “You’ll be fired if anyone sees that! I’ll create a distraction, you go clean up.”

Straightening my clothes, I emerge from the gloom to chastise the closest couple. “Bernadette! Michael! Remember to leave room for Jesus. Fifty centimetres apart, immediately!”

Bernadette takes one step back, her partner at arm’s length again. “Sorry, Miss.”


32) Drink My Honey

“Have you ever danced in the rain, Kat?”

Nina posed her inquiry through a toothy grin and glasses smeared with hazelnut gelato. Our night was fueled by hearty guffaws, free-flowing expletives, and industrial techno blaring from the speakers of the tiny ice cream shop. I was worked up. Hot. An overnight shift with Nina often culminated with my face deep between her generous thighs before the dawn.

Watching her labor was pop art superimposed over an impressionist masterpiece. Nina worked the giant steel vats and stirrers effortlessly, dark braids tucked neatly under a cap. Her defined biceps belied her soft hips and squishy belly, unabashedly jiggling underneath her tight tank and white apron splattered with the pastel hues of frosty treats.

La, la, la, la, la…drink my honey…

We swayed along to the Lords of Acid on repeat as we worked, bumping butts and banging heads, when she asked the question.

I smiled and shook my head no, but Nina was already taking off her cap and spilling out the back door onto the yard behind the shop and into a summer downpour.

“La, la, la, la, la…drink my honey…,” she sang. Twirled. Bliss on her expression, Nina raised her face to the torrent and undulated to the slow, saccharin intro of the song while discarding her tank. In perfect rhythm, she was free of her bra when the beat dropped — hard, cranking, bass and edgy, metal trebles — in synergy with the weighty bounce of her breasts through frenzied gyrations.

The water pelted her naked flesh, catching only briefly to encircle her nipples and the curve of her torso as she beckoned me to join her. I placed the freshly churned container of amaretto cream into the freezer and slithered out of my own tank and bra before cranking up the music. Ice cream could keep. The real treat was frolicking in mud puddles on the other side of the open door.


33) Dinner Dance

“Pass the knife please babe, I’ll chop the mushrooms.”

Melissa smiled warmly as Daniel responded. She wasn’t used to someone cooking with her and despite her love of fine dining, this was different, imaginative, thoughtful. It was her first time staying over, yet already, she felt at ease.

Daniel poured two glasses of wine as they prepared dinner, “I picked up profiteroles too.”

Melissa bit her lip, coyly questioning, “Is that all you want for dessert?”

Daniel looked her up and down, sporting her favourite polka dot dress with sheer stockings, just as promised.

“Music?” she enquired, already pairing the speaker before Daniel even answered. As she seductively stirred cream into the white sauce, he moved behind her. Just as the chords to her favourite song chimed out, Daniel grabbed Melissa’s arm, spinning her around, her feet gliding across the tiled floor.

“Shall we?” he grinned, as Lennon’s vocals blared out, ‘I Want You’. Their bodies pressed together, lost in each others eyes, swaying, rhythmically to the beat. Melissa felt Daniel’s hand grip her arse, pulling her closer as they gyrated, grinding on his thigh.

Bodies twisted, their mouths finally connected, Daniel tugged firmly at her lower lip. Moaning into the kiss as he hardened against her, taking her hand, pulling her into a pirouette. Daniel led Melissa to the dining table, resting her forearms upon it. Lifting her dress, revealing her lack of underwear, Daniel’s breathing hitched at the sight.

Unbuckling his jeans, sending them tumbling to the floor. Pressing his tip against her already soaked entrance, he pushed forcefully inside. Melissa groaned her approval, their rhythm matching the beat, their dance turning carnal. Wrapping her long blonde hair around his hand, pulling her onto tiptoes, pounding deep inside her. Moving his hand round to pinch and tease her clit, moaning her name as he frantically brought her to a shuddering climax.

“We’d better finish making this lasagne, I’m even hungrier now.”


34) Doing More Than Dishes

Katy sauntered into the apartment in her white tank and cut-offs, leaving me breathless. I’d been staying above her brother’s garage during my remodeling, and Katy was visiting him when Covid-19 struck, so we’d both been quarantined here. Jack was still working, leaving me alone with my greatest temptation.

“You don’t have to do this,” I said, grinning.

“A bet’s a bet.”

Katy blared music from her phone while doing my dishes. I leaned against the counter, watching her twist and sway to the beat. She knew how much I wanted her, and she was putting on a show.

She grabbed a clean dish towel and waltzed over to me. Wrapping it around my neck, she pulled me close and dirty danced me slow, grinding and stroking up and down my body. I was hard already, and that pleased her. She squeezed my bulge, but twirled away when I tried to kiss her. Dragging a chair from the table, she shoved me into it.

Katy was laughing, mesmerizing me with those flashing eyes. Maybe she meant for her exaggerated stripper moves to be funny, but I wasn’t laughing. Hell, I was barely breathing.

She gave me a playful squirt with the dish sprayer, then blasted water in the air, upturning her face to catch it.

Water dampened her thin top, rendering it nearly transparent. No bra. How I longed to have one of those hard, pink nipples in my mouth.

With a seductive smile, she shimmied out of her shorts. Her panties were sheer, too.

She straddled me, gyrating all over me, slapping my hands when I tried to touch her. Grinding against my erection, she leaned back and removed her shirt.

Those full breasts bounced right in my face, keeping time with the beat. I tried to catch one with my mouth, but she grabbed a fistful of my hair and yanked my head back.

“Not yet,” she whispered. “This is my favorite song.”


35) Prom Night

Cassie spent weeks preparing for prom. She ordered a custom 3 piece sparkling, bright red gown, with a low cut V neck that accentuated her full breasts, a full wrap around skirt with lots of folds and ruffles, with a hidden surprise.

When they arrived at the gym, Cassie commented on the dim lighting. They gazed into eachothers eyes as Brian leaned in toward her. Holding the back of her head he gave her a long deep kiss that got her heart racing. They stepped on to the dance floor and Brian pulled her in close, holding on tight. He enjoyed the feel of her nipples becoming erect through her dress and she felt his cock instantly harden. He swayed with her to the music. She rubbed up against him and grabbed the bulge which longed to break free from containment. Their lips locked while they danced, their tongues danced as well.

After renting a motel room; moments after they locked the door, Cassie grabbed his zipper, dropped to her knees to slowly devour the length of his rock hard cock. She caressed his balls while taking his shaft deep in her throat. Cassie slowly removed the outer wrap of her gown, leaving a tight-fitting mini-skirt. She pulled Brian’s hand to her lips, and placed his finger in her mouth, and slid his hand down to her crotch where he found she had no underwear on.

He helped her undress. He gently laid her back on the bed. He placed her legs on each side of his head, resting on his shoulders and began to lick and suck on her lips before he nibbled on her hardening clit.

“Brian I want you to fuck me.” She didn’t need to tell him twice. He positioned himself over her, caressed the opening of her vagina with the head of his cock. As he slid in, his cock softened.


36) The Ballerina’s Corruption

Emily ran to the stage door. Her white tutu bounced around her; the rhinestones reflected the dim lights backstage, creating an ethereal, angelic look. Dean, the stagehand, stood by the exit. The personification of temptation. When she reached him, her eyes sparkled as his seemed to darken. A look she’d never seen before, but he’d promised her a special time after the show tonight.

She had entered the stage already feeling the anticipation. She took her position and it began. Light and whimsical, she twirled around the stage in time with the music filling the auditorium.

They slipped out the exit into the dark, damp alley. Her tutu seemed to emit its own glow against that scene. He pinned her to the wall by her throat; the power she felt emanating from him made her quiver with an unrecognizable emotion. She felt her soul’s desire to submit.

The tone of the music changed. Before light and innocent, it became more sinister. Sensual. Her movements became more angular, as if being pulled into a power struggle. Turns became slower, interrupted by glissades.

“On your knees,” he said, voice soft yet uncompromising. Emily knelt, feeling the stone’s dampness seep into her tights. He pulled out his cock; she bit her lip and met his eyes. He nodded. She took a calming breath before taking him into her mouth. The groan he let out was enough to make her brave. She pushed further, gagging on him.

The music built and built until it reached its climax. She spun and spun, muscles quivering with exertion. The climax broke and she fell to the floor in her final pose. The audience roared.

He finished with a loud groan. He cleaned himself up, putting himself away, and slipping back inside. She stayed there, kneeling. Pantyhose ripped, tutu blackened with grime, she reached up and felt her swollen lips with only one thought in her mind.

When can I do that again?


37) Turn Up the Heat

Phil glared down at Angie. Leading her across the room, he trod on her foot for the fifth time and she scowled.

“Stop!” Pierre, their coach thundered towards them. “The Rhumba is the dance of love!” He grabbed Angie away from Phil and pulled her close. “There must be heat between you, lust.”

He looked into Angie’s eyes, pressed his body against hers, and guided her backwards.

Despite being ten years older, Pierre was a prominent figure in Angie’s fantasies; so when she felt his cock growing stiff, her lips twitched into a grin and her eyes smoldered at him.

“See that, Phil? You must lead her with your whole body, not just your feet. Set aside your morning’s squabbles and try again.”

Phil replaced Pierre, who moved behind Angie, placing one hand on her hip and pushing his hard cock into her ass. His other hand went to Phil’s face, tilting it down to look at Angie.

“Your eyes must penetrate hers.” Pierre dropped his hand to Phil’s waist and pulled him tight against Angie. “Your body must be one.”

Phil blushed as his eyes dropped to Angie’s chest, hard nipples betraying her excitement. She could feel his shaft swelling against her, too, and her smile widened.

The trio paced across the studio, heat radiating off them.

Pierre stepped away so Phil could dip Angie. They looked up and their eyes landed on Pierre’s crotch, which stood out in a tent.

Phil pulled Angie upright, shocked, but excited. Angie dropped her hand to cup his erection and his hand found her breasts as they kissed for the first time. Pierre caressed her ass from behind and she turned her head to kiss him. Pierre’s hand covered Angie’s on Phil’s stiff cock and squeezed. He released Angie’s lips and locked on Phil’s. Their hands explored each others’ bodies and their clothes hit the floor.

Angie didn’t think heat was going to be a problem anymore.


38) Rockette Revelry

Fan kicks, French kicks, strut kicks, Rebecca executed them all with pristine precision. So, as usual, did the rest of the iconic Radio City troupe performing alongside her, but while the movement of her body matched all of them, her mind was only on one.

Her state could almost be described as autopilot; she had rehearsed this dance so many times that her mind was free to wander to Sarah at the other end of the kick line—even though, as tempting as it was, she couldn’t allow her eyes to do the same. With a smile almost as dazzling as her costume, Rebecca struck her final pose and the curtains went down, signaling that it was time for intermission. Backed by the murmur of the crowd leaving their seats, she hurriedly made her way to the safety of the dark backstage. There, waiting for her, was her girlfriend.

“Ten minutes?” Sarah asked, making sure that they both still wanted to leave some time to compose themselves before the show started up again.

“Ten minutes.” Without another word, Rebecca pushed Sarah up against the black brick wall and into a deep kiss, hardly caring whether they were concealed or not. They had done this enough times to know that either this was a hidden enough spot or the rest of their fellow dancers didn’t care enough to say anything. Fumbling first with the straps of her own leotard and then Sarah’s, Rebecca ran one hand across her partner’s now-freed breast and steadied herself against the wall with the other. The feel of skin on skin was exquisite, hardly something either of them got to experience enough in the busy life of a performer.

“Five minutes to curtain!”

The stage manager’s voice rang vaguely in Rebecca’s ears and she could see the house lights flashing, but as she felt Sarah’s lips on her neck, she didn’t care. They could spare another minute of the fifteen.


39) Stretching It Out

Natalie, her auburn hair pulled up in a ponytail and her thin softly curved body in a leotard, is doing her stretches at the bar before going through some dance routines. Her mind takes her to just a few days ago when Nick was with her going through their routine together.
The way his arms and hands so easily mold to her body as they move. His strong muscular six-foot, six-inch form, having confidence in their movements together, knowing her every move. She never has to worry about being dropped or being thrown off the dance.

They went from dance partners to wanting more so quickly. She remembers looking into his hazel eyes and touching his chestnut-colored hair as they lost themselves in a kiss at the end of their last practice. Moving his hands from her waist, one down her hips and around to her bottom as the other slid up to her breasts, cupping one and squeezing as he pulled her in closer.

Almost immediately he pulled away and said he had to leave. She watched, confused as he almost ran out the door.

Three days later now and she has not heard from him nor seen him. Leaning down once more for a stretch to the bar over her leg as she holds her pose, feeling the burn of the stretch. A hand touches the top of her leg as another slowly touches her waist.
She turns quickly to see it’s Nick.

He whispers, “Sorry I left. I was scared I would hurt you, like so many others.”
“And now?” she questions.
“I can’t stay away. Forgive me?”
“Only if you finish what you started the other day,” she says with a grin.

He pulls her into his arms as she feels the heat of need and his hardening cock between them pushing to be free.
“Finally,” she sighs as he crushes her lips in a kiss.


40) Disco Fever

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Dan, the bar’s owner, surrounded by a trio of exotic women. He’s the sexiest man in the place. Six foot tall, olive skin, decadent black curls that are just begging to have my fingers run through them, and a five o’clock shadow I can imagine brushing across my thighs.

I walk up to him as if I own the place, “Dance with me,” I demand. Dan’s mouth twitches as he tries to mask his amusement.

We move well together as we cross the floor, the music is running through my veins and I can’t help but notice his hands lingering in all the right places.

A furtive glance towards the storeroom, Dan reads my mind and quickly pulls me through the unmarked door behind us. It’s a small room, filled with cleaning supplies, a spare desk and a low watt bulb hanging from the middle of the room.

I lean against the desk and in an instant, his hands are in my hair, his mouth is on mine, our tongues dancing to the beat of the music coming from the bar.

His hands slide down my back until they find the bottom of my dress. With one swift move, he shoves it up over my hips before looping one finger under each side of my thong to push them down until they fall at my feet.

Needfully, I reach for the zipper of Dan’s jeans. But he has other plans. He grabs my wrists and pins them behind me as he spins me around until I’m pressed against the desk.

I can feel my need for him dripping down my legs as he pushes my knees apart with his free hand. His hot breath lingers on my back as his expert fingers dip inside me.
Exploring my depths to the rhythm of the bass pulsing outside the door.

There are benefits to dating the boss.


41) Our Last Klubnacht

Our life is punctuated by Berghain Klubnächte. Techno and bodies mixed together in a transcendental zone where we can fuck or dance or melt into each other. Everything is open for exploration. Here, I find you among the anonymity and the electrifying potential, our bodies grinding together, sweat and scent flowing through open boundaries. Our movements are so familiar that we do not communicate with words. Our kisses are long and hungry. We taste of chemicals and lust. The higher we get, the harder we dance, the more open we are to the room. I learned how to move with you on this dance floor, every time returning to the same experience, perfecting it, binding us tighter together.

The light is low in the darkroom, but I can see your closed eyes while you suck me. My hips rock to the beat, fucking your lips, disassociated. I move behind you, place your hands against the wall, and push into you from behind, reaching around to feel my cock fucking you, biting your neck.

There is a man watching us, wanking, listening to your ogasms fill the spaces between the pounds of the kick-drum. I ask you if you want to suck a cock, and you take him in your mouth as I fuck you. My balls wet against you, I concentrate on the blow job you are giving. You are pushing yourself down his cock, gasping, spluttering while you are fucked. Neither of us are going to come; you are suspended between us until you have had enough. I feel your saliva running down your chin as I touch your face. I sense every time his dick swells in your throat by the way you clench tight. All of this pleasure is purified by the intensity of the music, the sweat, the endless possibility. The dance continues off the dance floor, deep in our bodies, until the next time we can come here together.


42) The closing dance

The elderly couple I had seen before entered the hotel late in the evening. The lady wore her silver grey hair elegantly put up, his was covered by a panama hat. My guess was they’d been dancing in the Roseland, one block down. I greeted them as they walked towards the stairs, then refocused on my concierge work.

Ten minutes later, there were strange noises from down the corridor and I left my post to check. I was dumbfounded for a moment, not at all prepared to see the couple like this. She was lying on her stomach on the wide arm of a sofa, her legs spread and her dress rolled up to her waist. He stood behind her, holding her firmly at the hips, and took her. I watched, but not because I am a voyeur. It was grace that transfixed me. They fucked as if the world around them didn’t exist. He clenched her hair firmly and pulled her head slightly backwards, raw and tender at the same time. She followed his lead, surrendering in encouraging groans. It was a timeless tango of inextricably connected souls. I coughed discreetly and returned to the reception.

Half an hour later the gentleman came up to my desk and handed me an envelope.

“This is for you. May I ask you not to open it before tomorrow? Good night.”

The next day, the cleaning lady found them, lifeless on their bed. The pills on the table testified to a voluntary death. My envelope contained a hundred dollar bill and a note.

You inadvertently witnessed our passion, thank you for your discretion. My wife was terminally ill. We have always been together, in death too I will accompany her. Fifty years ago, we first made love in the exact same spot in this hotel. Now we’ve come full circle, and our dance ends.

“They lay in each other’s arms,” the cleaning lady said.


43) Wir Werden Ficken

The disco was rammed, noisy and in full flow when I arrived but it didn’t take me long to spot Üle, the German exchange student I’d met briefly, but intimately, at a party a few days earlier, she was head and shoulders above most, dancing just as she had wanked and sucked me off – fast, furious, totally committed. The last I’d seen of her was as she ran out of the garden shed to catch a lift, my jeans still around my ankles – but with the promise that we’d fuck next time.

Approaching her from behind, I squeezed her arse, kissing her hard on the lips as she turned, all of which only briefly slowed her gyrating – she looked puzzled, but barely missed a beat before continuing her energetic progress across the packed dance floor.

After 30 minutes of breathlessly sweaty dancing we headed outside for some fresh air, taking Üle’s hand I led her across the field towards some rugby posts I could see, just visible on the outer edges of the spilled light.

Leaning against the post she pulled me closer, her hungry tongue darting around my mouth, my erection pressed hard against her hip bone, I felt eager hands unbuttoning my jeans, releasing me from the confines, stroking as she kneeled, licking the swollen wet tip.

“Fuck me hard, now” she ordered. She was wearing a wrap-around dress and I wasted no time unwrapping her as she fingered herself, sliding wet sticky fingers into my mouth, forcing me inside her hot, wet cunt with her other hand.

She was in such a hurry again, fucking like she danced, I needed to slow things down or this would be over very quickly. But she would not be slowed, so it was indeed over very quickly…

Heading back she steered me towards a small group of girls, introducing me to a similarly statuesque girl … “Have you met my twin sister, Üle?”


44) Shake It For Me

Barely bridled by the balconette bra, her massive tits filled his red-tinted vision. Aimee-Marie swayed from side to side, chewing her gum languidly, but his eyes never left the pendulous motion of the twin orbs, dark nipples unmistakable behind the gauzy material.

Every little shimmy in her cowgirl outfit was designed to titillate and taunt, from the ten-gallon hat holding her long cascading tresses to her open plaid shirt tied off at her tanned midriff, accentuated by the big-buckled leather gunbelt above a tiny bikini, and chaps flaring down to cowboy boots which she tapped to the rhythm.

She bent close enough to smell his tobacco breath where he was perched on the pleather sofa, put her hat on his head, then swung her hair free and let Luke Bryan’s bourbon baritone possess her.

Hey girl, go on now! You know you’ve got everybody lookin’

Turning, she touched her toes. All he saw though was the black G-string disappearing in the pink crevice between her toned ass cheeks.

Get up on the hood of my daddy’s tractor, up on the tool box, it don’t matter

Next, she knelt astride him, his face inches from her heaving chest. Clumsily he raised grabbing hands, but with a laugh she knocked them away.

Yeah, move like the river flows, feel the kick drum down deep in your toes

Down slipped her hand, bunching up and pulling the thong upwards, then whirring a fingertip over her clit. She smiled as he sniffed appreciatively, gyrating deliciously above him as the song hit its crescendo.

C’mon, c’mon, c’mon country girl shake it for me girl

The song ended, and the house lights came up. She dismounted, slowly blowing a bubble and letting it pop before drawling, “Hon, it’ll cost a lot more if you want me to take care of that,” nodding at the massive erection tenting his jeans as she adjusted the toy pistols in her holster.


45) Tera-Bitten Tango

Dex hates not having control. Still, he sets his sync-ware to scan for Tera’s signal — her siren’s song.

Come to me. I’ll take care of you. Protect you…

Her words resonate across a pirated frequency, flooding his biosensors with erotic, electrical impulses that harden his cock. His biomechatronic legs set out in search of her, traversing backstreets awash with neon. Sector loudspeakers blare curfew warnings as if fighting for sensory dominance over the scent of decay and prevalence of dejection. But, hell if he’s stopping.

Stepping inside the club, the music hits him like a wave. It blasts him back then pulls him towards the empty seat at the front of the stage. Tera’s dancing now, her cybernetic limbs cutting gracefully through sound and space like scissors as she moves in time with the binaural beat.

The smell of her, sweet and pungent, fills the air as she thrusts her naked sex towards the patrons. She wears a crotchless bodysuit to entice the crowd. His cum has stained the shiny latex numerous times, but he doesn’t need such gimmicks. Just the wet, whirring sounds from her vaginal conduit is enough to make him desperate. He pulls his erection free of his standard-issue uniform and begins to stroke its length.

I’ll catch you. Destroy all that is keeping you back. And then I’ll nurse you…

He ignores those laughing at his eagerness. Soon, their humor becomes disbelief when she carefully lowers herself from the stage to straddle his hips. With Tera impaled upon him, he grinds in a frenzy until she takes control and sets the tempo. Resting her forehead on his, she closes the circuit — connecting flesh, bone, and electronics.

Dex knows she’s exploiting a software glitch, accessing the fuck out of his hard drive until her backdoor upload is complete. But, hell if he’s stopping.

* Italicized lyrics from Bjork’s “Come To Me”


46) Slave to the Rhythm

This was it.

From across the room, Yasmine’s audience stared impassively as she twirled and gyrated for its approval.

Her opalescent skin, coated in a sheen of sweat and barely covered by crop top and shorts, reflected brightly in the tiny aperture of her webcam.

While the sugary vocals and thudding beats were not to her taste, she had heard little else this past week. She was by no means a dancer, and even the simplest of routines took time.

To make matters harder, the moves were not her usual physical vocabulary. Serpentine swaying, slut drops, twerking. But she was slowly becoming used to them as the weeks wore on, and in any case, her best effort was much preferred to a polished, professional performance.

The smallest of slips. Yasmine cursed her lack of carpet. The towering stilettos she wore were a constant hindrance, and any mistakes would be harshly punished.

Master recorded all her shows to review later.

At last, she came to the end of her recital. Blowing a kiss to her metallic voyeur she struck her final pose, hands flexed by her sides, foot bevelled.

Her breath was heavy and her head was swimming, but she knew she mustn’t move until instructed.

Then her laptop’s microphone crackled into life.

‘Come here, little one.’

The faintest hint of approval in Master’s voice had Yasmine practically skipping across the room, her pigtails bouncing happily and her face cracking a delirious grin in spite of herself.

‘Your next assignment.’

A beat that stretched into eternity as Yasmine waited for the video to load. Blood pounded in her ears as she enjoyed the exquisite fearousal of not knowing what lay in store.

Then up it popped. Her mouth fell open as she saw the runtime.

Nearly five minutes of pure choreo. She’d have to rehearse every free hour she had.

‘Enjoy your week, pet,’ said Master, their voice drenched in sadistic delight.

‘Same time next Sunday.’


47) Last Tango at Sandominco’s

Margaret would be arriving very shortly. She was one of my regulars at Sandominco’s Dance Studio and had not missed a lesson in over a year. At first, she dressed in a mixture of beige outfits, with matching hair and skin. I had seen the apprehension in her face on her first visit, accompanied by her granddaughter. Within a few weeks Margaret started to dress in more colourful attire and I even noticed a hint of make-up. She was also far more sociable and fitted into the group well.

She would be here any minute now, always on time. Our last lesson gave me a restless night’s sleep where I wrestled with the morality of my observations. Our dancing had moved on to the Tango; I admit I had my reservations about an 85-year-old being so acrobatic. My concerns were alleviated when Margaret assured me there would be no deep lunges for her!

Our last lesson was, shall we say, unexpected. Margaret’s Tango was greatly improved, and she embraced the passion of the music. She held me tighter than I would prefer, but at her age self-supporting arms were a real challenge. As we moved about the floor, I noticed her skin had renewed colour and her eyes shone with a sparkle I had not seen before. She looked at me as though her heart was attached to mine and any break in body contact was as though she was starved of air.

Her thigh rubbed against my cock once too often and each time she breathed heavier. Striding across the chalked dance floor, she forced her pelvis into mine one last time and in a shuddering orgasmic grip, her knees went from under her. She rested for a moment, and looking up smiling she said simply,

“Thank you.”

I looked up from my instructor’s notes as the studio door opened. Margaret’s granddaughter stood there alone. She had been crying.


48) Thunderstruck Vs The Nutcracker

There was a knock on the door. “Showtime, mate.”

Harley stood and wiped the drooling saliva off his penis. “See ya next time at the gig for another suck, sweetie.” He rearranged his genitals and buttoned up his tight leather pants. The girl swayed on her legs, spat and closed the door with a bang. She’d begged him to fuck her.

Harley shrugged and sauntered to the stage. He was the drummer of AB/CD, a hard rock tribute band. They’d been touring the major venues and had a dedicated horde of groupies. Plenty of pussy to pick and choose as he pleased. Harley never fucked the girls, but he appreciated a good blowjob. He would close his eyes and muse.

He hit his drumsticks four times, and the band started playing. The crowd was wild and soon the arena was oozing with fans headbanging, dancing, singing and crowd-surfing.

Two and a half hours later, Harley crashed in the backseat of the tour bus. He picked up his phone and scrolled to the inbox.

You are cordially invited to attend the exclusive premiere of The Nutcracker.
See you backstage!
N. Xx

Nikolay, his long-time school buddy, had been back in touch. Years ago, he’d left their small-minded community, being rejected as a gay pariah. He excelled into the art of ballet dancing. Harley had proceeded into a dissimilar orientation and jumped into the life of rock ‘n’ roll. Thunderstruck versus The Nutcracker Suite.

Five days later, Harley sat fidgeting on the edge of a red velvet seat in the front row of the Royal Opera House. He didn’t absorb the intricate choreography or regard the classical music, but he was tremendously kindled by Niko’s dancing in his close-fitting leotard.

Fuck the prejudiced band, fuck his homophobic relatives. Fuck them all. Tonight, he would come out of the closet, go backstage and beseech to get penetrated by his long-lost mate.


49) Dream, Dream, Dream, Dream…

Back in 1958 we had to dance a foot apart. That’s how it was here in our sleepy corner of smalltown USA, anyhow. When you moseyed up, all Dapper Dan and blue-eyed, and asked me to dance, I felt the whole world stand still. I didn’t care none that I was just out of high school and you were a real man, nor that you ‘came from the wrong side of the creek’, as my Pa would say. So, I gladly let you take me by the hand and lead me onto the dancefloor as The Everly Brothers sang, ‘I can make you mine, taste your lips of wine’.

My hand, laid upon your shoulder, felt your cowhand muscles moving ‘neath your shirt. The small of my back sensed the firm heat of your hand through my blue taffeta dress. That’s as close as we could get but it was close enough for me to think, ‘I sure like the smell of this man’.

Next thing I know, we’re out in the parking lot, under the Missouri moon, and the rules don’t seem to count no more. Your mouth is on mine and I’m as hungry for your tongue as you are for mine. I hear you murmur, “I want you”, and I don’t even have time to say, “I want you too”, before your hand is under my petticoats, stroking the bare skin above my stockings, touching me through my cotton panties in the place where all my wanting was centered.

If my brothers hadn’t caught us there, in that moment… well, that’s what my dreams have been made of these last 50 years, as sure as the beating you got that day has been in my nightmares. I know we each made ourselves good marriages but, now you’re gone, Paul, as I lay these flowers down, I just wanted you to know that this old lady still remembers that night, back in 1958.


50) Bells of the Ball

I glance excitedly around the ballroom, my nipples hardening with desire. A muted tinkle of bells shimmers around me as I shift my weight, their high pitched sound identifying me as female. I’d been anticipating this event for a long time. I’m so incredibly wet. My desire paints my thighs.

“Phoom!” the lights are extinguished and darkness floods the room. I lift a hand before my face. I can see nothing. I wander forth, hearing the sounds of shuffling interspersed with the light tinkle and heavy clang of bells as we walk out onto the floor.

In short order the music starts. A waltz, Strauss’ Blue Danube, carries over the floor and my heart skips a beat as a cow bell clangs nearer. A rough hand takes my own and a muscular arm circles my waist. He presses closer as we sway across the floor, his rigid cock pressed tightly, leaking precum across my stomach. As we dance I can feel my own arousal drip from my swollen sex and I ache for his touch.

With a final flourish the music stops. Bending slightly, his lips touch mine. Our mouths fuck and our hands grope in the darkness. I kneel, desperate to taste him. I lick his frenulum, then take him in, sucking gently, until his head nudges my throat. Rough hands grab my hair as I strain to take the whole of him. He fucks my face for a while, then pulls out, slips a condom on, and I jump up. I impale myself on his cock and we fuck, making the most of the space between songs.

His stubble is rough against my cheek, his member swollen and turgid, filling me. I whimper softly in his ear as he sets me down, kneeling to taste my nether lips.

His tongue works my clit, fingers buried inside me as he seeks my g-spot. I moan, joining an ecstatic chorus that fills the room.


51) A New Groove

My hands sweat as I stand alone before the three-story building. Having been told this was the place to be on a Friday night, I had hoped for a line at the door to calm my nerves. I dry my hands on my jeans and reach into the right pocket for my wallet.

“20 bucks and I.D,” the bouncer says gruffly. He takes the money and I.D. from my clammy hand, shines the flashlight in my face and back down to the card. He hands my card back to me and nods for me to go inside. At the door I stumble, colliding with an outstretched arm and sloshing his beer down the front of my shirt.

“Ah man, I’m sorry. Let me get some napkins,” his melodic voice hums in my ears. He could have told me my shirt was on backwards and I would still have a goofy smile plastered to my face.

“Hey, I am sorry,” he says, handing me the napkins. He smirks, “Then again, you ran into me, so why am I apologizing?”

“I umm well, would you like another beer?” I stammer, smiling sheepishly.

He laughs and shakes his head. I had only been inside a few minutes and I was already sweating. I had to cool off, so I unbutton my shirt and let it hang open. I would never take my clothing off in a club, but this one is different. I am excited yet comfortable at the same time.

“Would you like to dance?” His mouth is less than an inch from my ear, his breath hot, and his voice full of anticipation. I nod and he takes my hand guiding me to the dance floor. The music is loud and fast. He swings me around and grabs my hips pulling me closer. I am lost in the music and the feel of his body molding into mine.


52) Blood Blessing

I am back to back with Neary as we bend forward, our bottoms bouncing in rhythm. The circle of women moves together, dancing as one body. Akara breathes into my face, playfully swiping her tongue across my lips. Another beat, and I am tasting the salty tang of her breasts. Our hearts sing with lust tonight. The goddess is hungry, and everyone can feel it.

A young priest, his face shadowy in the flashing firelight, sets an offering of jasmine at my feet. As I step forward, my pulse pounds in my veins. My sisters yip and trill and whirl. Kneeling, the man looks at me with reverent eyes; I smile at him with the goddess’ lips. My thighs are shiny with dark, fragrant nectar. Tonight, my sacred river runs red; my supplicant will have a blood blessing.

Grasping a fistful of the man’s hair, I pull him onto the altar. I feel my heartbeat throbbing between my legs; the goddess is ready to feast. I straddle my worshipper, submerging his manhood into my pulsing, hot river. Riding the current of my desire, I roll my hips in circles. My sisters echo my moans and the drums echo the rhythm of my dance. Heat grows within my belly as a wave of fiery power rises from my center. I squeeze man’s hardness, and he groans. My womb begins to tremble with the force of the cresting wave. I shiver as it crashes, spilling from me in a tingling rush, drenching my quaking thighs. I throw my head back and scream her name – she who, from ecstasy, created the universe.

As my shaking subsides, I gaze down at my priest. His torso and legs are washed in sacred blood, pumped from the heart of the goddess. I wet my fingers, smearing a crimson blessing from his forehead to his belly. My power hums inside me as the dancers swirl. Their voices sing out my name.


53) The First of Many

The dance classes hadn’t been fruitful. I’d met lovely people and I’d become a more adept dancer but no one had made my heart race. My cock hadn’t once twitched at the thought of pulling anyone close as the music often dictated. That all changed though when a soft voice asked me to dance.

My world began to shift as I took her hand in mine, my chest began to tighten, my stomach churned and my cock began to stir as our bodies found their rhythm and the music began to unite us.

As we danced a familiar yet misplaced feeling began to present itself. Hard, aroused, inviting but it wasn’t my cock that had stirred. Our eyes locked, her cheeks blushed, for a moment I could sense her intention to pull away, perhaps embarrassed, even anxious and instinctively I pulled her closer.

She flashed me the most beautiful smile before nuzzling her face into my neck. I tingled from head to toe as she peppered gentle kisses upon my skin. I’d never wanted anyone more. My own cock was now hard and my hands were exploring her body in a manner that was only just appropriate in public.

That feeling of aching need was mutual and we abandoned the dancefloor finding an empty room to accommodate our desires. Her hands moved to unzip my fly, but I knew there was something I wanted more than her delicate fingers wrapped around my dick.

Tentatively my hand slid under her skirt as I dropped to my knees, her own hands curling into my hair, a gentle moan of ‘oh yes’ giving me the consent I needed to take her slender erect cock into my mouth. My tongue and my lips moved against her length as my hands grabbed her ass, she moaned sweetly, as her hips bucked and her breath quickened as I enjoyed the first, but not the last, climax we shared together.


54) Sapphic Soliloquy

She came into the treatment room with a badly swollen knee. It was three days before opening night and we both knew that she wouldn’t be able to perform. All I could do for her was to prescribe painkillers and refer her to an orthopaedist. Torn ligaments are a dancer’s nightmare. Sarah was one of the stars of the dance company. But at thirty-four an injury like this probably meant a premature end of her career. She looked at me with such despair that I craved to hold her tight.

Ever since I became the company’s physiotherapist, she’d been the object of my desire. One of her outstanding performances had been in the Sappho of Mytilene-ballet. During a pas de deux, in the role of the ancient Greek poetess, Sarah had wrapped her agile body in a seemingly endless slow motion around her lover Erinna. Watching from the front row, I had yielded to the urge to press my hand against my vulva. Spellbound by the dancers twisting and turning their bodies in a sensual swirl of passion, I had silently spun myself to a climax.

Massaging Sarah after rehearsals had been delightful but tantalising. Her soft moans – as I stroked her calves and thighs – had driven me wild with the desire to please her as a lover and not as a professional. I fantasised about exchanging Soft Tissue-therapy with my tongue whirling like a dervish along her intimate folds. To equal the ecstasy of her best performance with a sexual rapture of my doing.

She hugged me before she left my office sniffling and limping. I didn’t want to let her go but had to of course. Her smile was enchanting but of collegial gratitude. I shut the door after her and cried. Not only did my love remain unfulfilled but I had lost the most exquisite dancer I had ever seen.


55) Cat Dance

Fiora watched him move with a smile on her face. His back was to her, and he probably had no idea she was there, but she wasn’t worried. He was more natural this way, his body dancing to an invisible beat as he cooked. His hips moved to an invisible beat, one only he could hear. The band on her head was irritating, but for him she’d wear it.

His feet glanced across the floor with an ease that belied how sturdy he was. Fiora always expected to watch him fall, and as much as she’d hate it, she knew he’d laugh it off. But as he always did, he remained standing, his ass shaking and his body moving from side to side. “You know, it’s easier if you were listening to something?” Fiora smirked at him from across the counter.

To his credit, he didn’t jump, or act surprised. He shot her a grin, before taking in the sight of her nudity, his eyes greedily drinking in everything. “I appreciate the ears, but… food’s not going to warm you up that much.”

“What, you don’t like it?” she said, doing a quick twirl of her own. “I’d have figured you’d have liked it instantly,” she continued, her own hips sashaying as she graced her way around the floor.

He blinked, one of his hands instantly reaching for the fake ears on her head. “Absolutely…” he said, his arousal obvious. He gave a quick peek to her ass, only to see the long tail coming from it. She gave a quick grope of his manhood, only to smile as she felt it get harder the instant he noticed.

She pulled his hands around her waist, letting him feel the faux-fur tail at her backside as it shot pings of delight up her back. “Food can wait… but I can’t,” she said, grinding her body against his. He smiled, pushing his body against hers instantly.


56) Under the Stars

“Are you sure you don’t want to spend another night? We can get a hotel, take our time on the drive home. We don’t have to go back to work until next week. I can see your eyes dropping again. We need to either pull over and take a break, or you need to let me drive.” Sarah would rarely take her eyes off of Michael, in fear of him falling asleep at the wheel.

“Okay, fine. I will pull over and we can stretch our legs for a bit. Keep a lookout for a turnout.” Michael was tired, but mostly of Sarah’s pushing. He knew she only had their best interests at heart, but sometimes she was overly intense about it. Mostly he was being stubborn because he just wanted to get home. They had been driving for over nine hours and still had another hour to go. They could make it.

“Oh, there is a vista spot up around the corner here,” Sarah stated excitedly. The drive down the coast was filled with beautiful glimpses of moonlit ocean between the giant redwoods.

“Ooo, that sounds perfect,” Michael replied with a lot more awake tone than earlier. Sarah noticed the perk in his tone and smiled to herself.

As Michael was parking the SUV, Sarah’s favorite slow song came on through the speakers. He knew it was her favorite, so he turned the volume up after setting the car in park.

Beyond the vista was a sight of beauty. The ocean was calm, with the stars glittering over water and the moon that was reflected by the sea.

Once the feeling in Michael and Sarah’s ass and legs came back, they stood at the passenger side looking out and over the horizon.

With a natural smoothness only meant for soulmates, Michael and Sarah embraced. As the music played from the car, they danced in slow circles under the moon and stars.


57) A Celebration Of Salvation

Such a breathtaking sight to behold. Clad only in a pair of worn jeans, Jack stands tall and statuesque with his arms stretched wide as rain pours over his naked torso. Head thrown back, he graciously accepts this life saving gift from the gods. Liquid gold for those of us who live off the land.

As I rush down the steps, his eyes hungrily take in my rain slicked sundress. Stalking towards me, he hauls me up his body and my legs curve around his hips. Our lips collide in a passion born from relief and desperation and I clutch handfuls of his hair as he drives me backwards. His bottom lip is between my teeth, as his thick fingers swipe my underwear aside and thrust deeply into my drenched cunt. Impatiently, I drop my hands to the waistband of his jeans, releasing the button and sliding the denim over his taut backside. His turgid length slaps against me as it escapes confinement.

Pulling him closer, my lips attach desperately to his neck, sucking hard as he removes his fingers and thrusts his throbbing cock deep inside me. This is not a gentle coupling of lovers, but a down and dirty hard fuck against the side of our house. All the fear, pain and heartache we have been living with pours out of us as we thrust and grind our bodies together culminating in a kaleidoscope of sensation.

Chests heaving in the aftermath, we stare into each other’s eyes as the rain continues to pour down on us.

“Dance with me,” he murmurs, lowering me to my feet.

Adjusting his jeans into place, he leads me to where he was originally standing soaking up our first significant rainfall in two years. Pulling me close we slowly sway together to the beat of heavy raindrops hitting the sunburnt earth beneath our feet, finally giving ourselves permission to enjoy the sliver of hope dawning inside us.


57 Replies to “Smut Marathon 2020: Fourth voting round

  1. Selected feedback:
    1 This took a little while to get going, and then it sizzled. It didn’t feel like a completed story, is my little ding.
    2 This started like a rocket and kept getting better. Great wordplay to go with the foreplay.
    4 Those last two sentences are masterful.
    5 Memorable characters, LOL.
    10 I don’t mind this being a dream sequence in the slightest, but the last three sentences completely jar me out of the smuttiness of the excellent story. Consider the last note you want leave the reader with.
    13 Hilarious!
    21 The one-paragraph format made this one really hard for me to read, tbh. I think it detracted from the story line. ☹
    22 Love the moral of the story.
    31 Loved this one.
    42 Some might ding you for death in smut but this was lovely.
    56 This was a lovely little moment but I, personally, did not feel any smuttiness or eroticism. ☹

  2. I loved the characterization in #3, the visuals I was gifted in #7, the eroticism from #19 that arguably isn’t usually my taste, but was done very well, and lastly, #57 was so pure, so organic, so erotic, it was my favorite.

  3. #42 made me shiver. Not of fear or delight but it moved me and resulted in a feeling of compassion. Point well deserved
    #49 How many real life stories have ended similarly? Point given.

  4. Glad to see so many entries in the midst of scary times. My “shortlist”: 6, 8, 16, 20, 22, 24, 26, 27, 31, 32, 34, 37, 41, 52. Ultimately I voted for 26, 31, 37 and 41. I would like to see 22 expanded into a longer story!

  5. Yet again some fantastic writing. This group of writers have very sexual imagination. We always get told the is a task to read all the stories I find this part extremely pleasurable.
    Thank you.

  6. Overall, I have to admit that I found the quality of stories in this round something of a disappointment. Despite (or perhaps ‘because of’?) having more freedom in this assignment, there seemed to be a lot of quite similar stories, and too many that, to my mind, weren’t really stories at all – just routine porn-style scenes, albeit with a fleeting mention of ‘dance’.

    There were some recurring tropes: the dance class with a sexy teacher; perving over the virginal archetype of the ballet dancer; the bump-and-grind of a dance encounter (I lost count of the number of ‘rigid cocks’ pressing into bellies and thighs!).

    In myself, I noticed a growing intolerance for lazy clichés of biological parts – throbbing member, nether lips, swollen sex, etc. And, I don’t know, does anyone like the word ‘turgid’?

    I put together a shortlist of 12 merit-worthy stories: 6, 15, 17, 20, 23, 24, 27, 31, 32, 34, 41, 49.

    … but it was an easy task to choose which stories I wanted to vote for:

    My first vote went to…
    **27. Danse Macabre – I like this a lot; it feels to have very much the same mood as my own piece (49. ‘Dream, Dream, Dream, Dream…’), so it must be good, right! It’s romantic, it’s sexy, it’s beautifully written with characters that I believe in. It’s not what I expected from the title, so maybe another title would have served it better? But that’s my only (tiny) criticism.

    My second vote went to…
    **20. Shattered and Put Together – I like the way the dance, revisited, frames a recollection of the story of their relationship. I believe in these people so I feel genuinely engaged in, and turned on by, their enjoyment of sex (and more). Sexy and sweet.

    My third vote went to…
    **31. Teachers Pet – The opening line completely bewildered me! I thought at first, ‘Wow, Superfruit is such an original name for a character!’… but I guess it’s the name of popular beat combo? Is it reasonable to expect your readers to know this? But this is a clever piece of writing that held on to its twist until the end, making me want to go back and read it again.

    My fourth vote went to…
    **41. Our Last Klubnacht – A very well-written integration of sex and dance, something very, very few writers achieved, or even attempted (I know I didn’t!). This scene is not to my personal taste but the writing is so good and I recognise it as being something that I couldn’t even begin to do – so, kudos!

    And my fifth vote went to… little ‘ol me! (49. Dream, Dream, Dream, Dream…) – I’m really happy with this piece so I feel comfortable giving it a vote. For the first time in this competition I wrote in the first person and chose as my character someone of a different gender, age and culture from my own, which I found very liberating. But, at the same time, I felt that I was being truer to myself, in terms of writing a story that I would enjoy reading, than I have been in previous rounds – and this was a deliberate ambition.

    Some feedback on a few of the stories that I shortlisted but didn’t get my vote…

    *6. Dance of the Warriors – I like this. It’s mysterious. It’s well-written; nothing jars. I feel as though I’m damning it with faint praise; maybe it doesn’t push my buttons particularly, but I can admire it nonetheless and acknowledge that it will appeal to many people’s sense of the erotic.

    *17. The Great Rite – The phrase ‘dancing in sync’ jars in the first sentence, which is unfortunate because the primitive theme is well sustained otherwise. The dance feels a bit superfluous; let’s just say, if this was a dance competition, I don’t think their moves would score a ‘10’ from me! But it’s a nice piece of writing. I particular liked, ‘For a sliver of eternity, he studies her.’

    *32. Drink My Honey – This was fun. I wanted more of it, which is both praise and criticism, as it didn’t quite seem complete.

    And some feedback on some that didn’t work for me…

    1. Lucia’s Sensual Dance Lesson – Titles really matter to me, and this feels like a working title; ‘Mambo Italiano’ might have been my choice. ‘“Pfizz,” they sounded, releasing gassy pressure from within.’… I don’t think it adds much to your story to tell us the sound of Coke can opening and explain the physics behind it. (Maybe it was a metaphor for your characters’ emotions… I’m not sure that would make it better!). This seems like a trivial criticism but making your word count efficiently productive is so important in flash fiction.

    14. Temptation in Tulle – ‘La Fille mal gardée’ (English: The Wayward Daughter, literal translation: “The Poorly Guarded Girl”) would have been a great title for a story in this round! This is a scene rich with erotic potential but, for me, let down by unpoetic phrases, such as ‘the hint of her womanhood winking underneath the tulle’. It also reads very much as an introduction, not a complete story.

    29. Microcosms Of Natural Order – You’ve very bravely attempted to describe actual choreography, which few have dared to do in this round. But it’s a fiendishly difficult thing to pull off convincingly; you almost inevitably leave your readers distracted by trying to visualise the practicalities of the movement. So, I score you highly for ‘degrees of difficulty attempted’, even though it didn’t quite work for me.

    33. Dinner Dance – It’s a sexy scene but it needs more context and character to engage me. Reading this, I realised how writing in the third person, as an anonymous narrator, makes it particularly challenging to convey your protagonists in three dimensions. How different might it have been if you’d written this story from the point of view of either Daniel or Melissa?

    39. Stretching It Out – Very distracted by the fact that Nick is a 6 and a half foot giant! Trying to work out how tall Natalie might be… would he even be able to reach her bottom if they were in a standing kiss? Sometimes being unnecessarily precise in a description can distract a reader’s focus. Some of the line breaks and paragraph breaks need looking at.

    42. The Closing Dance – Dance featured somewhat tangentially. Why does the observer ‘cough discreetly’? Why does she let them know they’ve been seen? The whole story has flaws in it that make it unconvincing but it’s a lovely idea; it just needs more working on.

    47. Last Tango at Sandominco’s – I found the framing technique – recounting the previous week’s lesson in the moments of anticipating Margaret’s arrival – less effective than it might have been (it took me two reads to make sense of). Also, I don’t think either her age or gender excuses Margaret of rather dubious behaviour. Imagine swapping the characters’ genders over; would a story about an old man non-consensually rubbing himself off against his dance instructor be ok? I’m not sure…

    48. Thunderstruck vs The Nutcracker – There’s so much wrong with this, not least the idea that he’s going to come out to a close friend by ‘going backstage and beseeching to get penetrated by his long-lost mate’! I wasn’t left in much doubt that he’d still be exploiting girl groupies. I wouldn’t say that I can’t appreciate erotica with an amoral central character (I do enjoy a bit of de Sade!) but this was too much of an uphill struggle for me.

    56. Under the Stars – It sounds like a lovely (though sexless) scene… but the dance doesn’t arrive until the very last sentence! And even then – given that the assignment brief was to feature dance, and your title is ‘Under the Stars’ – you don’t tell us any more than we already would’ve assumed. (Also, I really wanted to what ‘Sarah’s favorite slow song’ was!)

    Jacques

    1. Thanks for the feedback and the vote. I did play with different titles but ended up on that one after researching the meaning a little as I wasn’t sure. It is meant to describe how death levels everyone, reminds them of the fragility in life and of course it was all linked to dance. I was trying to evoke that feeling that despite the presence of death, people would grab moments of happiness and joy in dance and each other. But I do agree maybe the leap between that and the story was a little too much.

      I really enjoyed yours too!

  7. This was a wide brief which led to some really different takes on things but also surprisingly some common themes, with lap dancing or dance classes popping up a few times.

    After reading all the stories I’d also
    seen a similar pattern for those that involved dancing, grinding, hard cocks and erect nipples. Nothing wrong with that but I realised that the same thing was happening time and time again, which made it hard (no pun intended) for these type of stories to differentiate themselves when I went back to read them again.

    As dancing was the theme, I looked for those that used dance as a solid part of the story rather than just a brief moment or purely as a mechanism to get to a sex scene. I also looked for those that created a sense of excitement or tension from the dance or a unique take on the brief.

    Thanks to everyone for the efforts, some great ideas and writing.

    My favourite stories of this round which got my vote.

    23) LORD OF THE DANCE – I really liked the story and the narrative this created. It flowed easily and naturally. The dialogue added to the feel of it. And the build up to the moment he finally danced with her, all created the images in my head. Dance was a key part of the story too, which I felt fitted the brief well.

    24) ALL BY MYSELF – I liked the story this crafted. It was poignant and moving. A little sad but also uplifting. Created a scene for the dancing I could see and the energy bubbles over to her final moments alone which were hungry, urgent and hopeful.

    32) DRINK MY HONEY – this was a great little scene. The characters were built out well and the scene set quickly to place me there. The whole story flowed well and the scene believable. The dancing was built well as part of the story. And while not hugely erotic there was enough to create a tinge of it to enjoy.

    42) THE CLOSING DANCE – this was a really different take on the brief. In contrast to my other choices this was beautifully sad and uplifting too. I’m not sure it was entirely erotic overall with the final moments of the story. But it was poignant and lovely nevertheless. A really clever piece of writing and interpretation of the dancing brief.

    These I enjoyed a lot but they didn’t quite make the grade for the vote for various reasons. But they all had some great elements.

    2) THE FIRST DANCE – creates a background story, but the dancing is limited and not sure it really works in terms of stealing away. Nice imagery though.

    9) OLYMPIC DANCING – I liked the imagery and the descriptive pace of the piece. But the link to dancing was a little tenuous, although the scene was played well. And the play on words at the end was fun.

    17) THE GREAT RITE – well written and creates the scene well. Not sure I understand the ending or the overall meaning, but I can go with it as a scene. Just not enough to vote for it.

    20) SHATTERED AND PUT TOGETHER – a sweet story between the two. I liked the little moments spread out over time. And a link to the dance theme, albeit limited. Just not enough for a vote. But I enjoyed the thoughtful writing on this one.

    25) CABIN BOI – a nicely written piece with some great descriptive writing. The dancing was there but maybe not enough description or use of it as part of the story for me. I wondered if the dominant character would have coyly asked initially. But overall a nicely written moment.

    26) DANCING DIRTY – the initial description is good and shapes the scene. And there was dancing mixed in to the whole story. But I just lost it when it all suddenly happened with the random guy walking in. He must have been really spectacular! Still nicely written but I just didn’t connect with the moment as it was described.

    28) THREE, THE MAGIC NUMBER – nice scene with a great description of the female character dancing. It just lacked a real story or connection between the characters as to why they were there and interacting, which would have made the story resonate more with me.

    29) MICROCOSMS OF NATURAL ORDER – prettily written and lots of great description. But I was lost a little on the story or where it was going, without a little more context. I felt a bit sorry for the fairies to be honest if they explode the only time they get to have sex!

    31) TEACHERS PET – I enjoyed the expectation set by this one, the nervous almost tentative touches and then the clever twist at the end that it isn’t the young students you expect but the teachers. I’m not sure it ended up as a sexy story though. More something fun and funny.

    33) DINNER DANCE – this was a nice scene. Well written and thought out. The scene was believable and an element of background to get me interested. Just not quite enough to make it stand out from others though.

    34) DOING MORE THAN DISHES – nicely described scene and managed to set up a background as to why the characters were there. Well written and believable, and I liked the dominance in the dancing partner. It was a good piece but not enough to stand out from the others.

    36) THE BALLERINA’S CORRUPTION – I enjoyed the way the dance and the moments after had been spliced together. It worked quite well in matching the dance and the scene. But there wasn’t enough connection between the characters to really draw me in to the moment.

    37) TURN UP THE HEAT – this was a great little hot scene. The quick build up of the tension worked well and it was well written. I liked the interaction of the characters building nicely to a hot moment. I just liked others more.

    47) LAST TANGO AT SANDOMINCO’S – this was a very different take on the brief. A proper story and a sad end to it, cleverly executed. It didn’t find it erotic or sexy but it was a well written story, wrapped around a full dance theme.

    49) DREAM, DREAM, DREAM, DREAM… – another clever and different take on the brief, coming at it in an unusual way. The wordplay and tone of voice was clever to create the sense of moment and place. The story did use dance as part of the moment. Maybe a little too sad as an erotic piece of writing for me to vote on it.

    53) THE FIRST OF MANY – this was well written and the hint and word play around something different happening was clever. I just felt the dancing was a bit peripheral to the story, and going from dance partner to sex in a room happened a bit too fast for me. But then maybe I don’t go to the right types of dance classes (ok. I don’t go to any but if I did I’m sure it wouldn’t end like this!).

    54) SAPPHIC SOLILOQUY – I enjoyed how this writer came at the brief using another very unique angle. Again rather a sad tale to tell. It was well written and flowed nicely, with dance a clear theme. Perhaps the unrequited love meant there was a lack of erotic moments within the story for it to stand out for me.

    And comments on the others which while all had good elements, worked less well for me.

    1) LUCIA’S SENSUAL DANCE LESSON – There was a good start creating characters and linking it to the dance. But there was too sudden a jump to sex, with no build up or tension between the two while they danced. And no background to help understand why it could happen so quickly.

    3) SLOW DANCE – it was sweet to start with, and created a nice build up. However I felt the whole teenage uncontrolled ejaculation while realistic wasn’t that erotic for me.

    4) ON A SQUARE METER – it is very pretty and picturesque but I don’t get a sense of the two people or the reason for the tension. Or how they are suddenly dancing together. It is like a story in the mist, with only flashes of the whole thing visible to me.

    5) SIMPLY IMAGINE THEM NAKED – just not sure what was going on here. A little confused about it. I think there was a whole word in the writer’s mind that I was able to grasp myself.

    6) DANCE OF THE WARRIORS – while the descriptions were good, I’m not sure I followed where this was going. Lost a little in the description of the dance and the jump between characters.

    7) THE PRINCIPAL – I liked the imagery but wanted to know more. Why only one night a season. Why the need? Why had they been together before? Too much left unsaid to get me to understand the characters.

    8) LE GRAND ÉCART – I like the dance references but not sure why she is there naked. Or who the lucky person is she is focused on. It’s a nice scene (I was trying to imagine the physical positions) but there wasn’t much of a tale told.

    10) IN HIS ARMS – it’s a light descriptive piece and I enjoyed the image, but it didn’t really give me anything else as to who and why. The twist at the end, it all being a dream while interesting with the play to the current situation felt a little like a let down as I don’t know anything more about the earlier part of the story.

    11) IN CONTROL – I liked the early description of the dancing but I didn’t really get a proper feel for the dynamic between the two characters. Maybe more tension could have been added at his lack of comfort with the situation. And the end felt a little rushed that the control changed around so quickly.

    12) WE DO LOVE BALLET – some nice moments in here, but it was a little far fetched all of that could happen in a public box (or am I just seriously missing out on life – if I am I’m not sure I want to know!). Some of the use of language lost me at parts and didn’t quite fit with the tone of the rest of the story.

    13) SMUTTY DANCING – I liked the way the dance moves were mixed in to the narrative. And I could hear the voice of a speakeasy time. But there was some odd language choices which didn’t fit and I’m not sure I completely believed the events unfolding in the story enough to buy in to it all.

    14) TEMPTATION IN TULLE – some nice elements to creating a wider world. But it lost me a little with the fixation on feet and the desire to smell shoes; which just lost me on the sexy front.

    15) AT THE CLUB – a nice description of the tension in the dance but it felt a little bolted on with the sudden switch to the classroom. A nice scene but I would have liked more build up before it all moves ahead to flogging!

    16) SEXY SHIVERS – a nicely described scene but it didn’t have much more of a story to it. While it was well written and descriptive, I’m not sure I understood the cold, and the dancing didn’t seem a big enough part of the scene to meet the brief.

    18) ALL THAT JIZZ – a good start with the beginning of the dance. But lost me along the way with why it was all getting frisky, and then some of the sexual language just didn’t work for me. I thought the title was clever, but I’m sorry but I hate that word; and in the end there really wasn’t much of it in the story.

    19) DANCE OF SUBMISSION – while there were lots of clever dance metaphors here, I didn’t feel this was really aligned to the dance in the brief. I could feel the intensity of the moment, that was written well, but it was more a scene and didn’t really provide that dance element I was expecting.

    21) A VERY PERSONAL PERFORMANCE – the past moments described linked to the dancing was a nice touch. But I didn’t get much of a sense as to why he was there, or why she wouldn’t want him there. The image of his stained trousers at the end didn’t leave me with an erotic image for the final moment which was a shame.

    22) FRIDAY NIGHT IN DAHAB – this is kind of a sad tale. It was well described and the scene set out well; with the quick images of the friends. But it didn’t really get erotic and then dropped in to the sad ending, which I didn’t feel quite worked for the theme of the competition.

    30) INTRODUCTION TO THE DANCE – I’m afraid this one didn’t really work for me as a story. It described too much in a literal way, rather than creating an image for me. Unfortunately there were a few typos and errors which meant I lost the thread of the story as I read it.

    35) PROM NIGHT – nicely written but it felt a little disjointed moving from the dance to the motel room. I would have liked more build up and tension on the dance floor, with maybe less at the motel – but that’s just me.

    38) ROCKETTE REVELRY – nicely written scene and a build up to the moment. It felt a little disjointed between dance and the sexual element. But I liked the way it ended with them grabbing another minute despite the risk.

    39) STRETCHING IT OUT – this was a sweet scene and written well. I was left wondering why Nick was such a bastard and worried about hurting her. It lacked a little on the chance to use more of the dance element to build excitement, but it was dance themed.

    40) DISCO FEVER – this is a hot sex scene and I liked the twist at the end. However the dance part seemed to be perfunctory to get to the sex, rather than made more of the overall scene which seemed a shame. Well written and sexy, but I wanted more build up and dance, because I’m greedy like that.

    41) OUR LAST KLUBNACHT – interesting scene and I could feel the thumping techno written in to the scene. I would have liked a little more about who these people were to help me buy in to the overall story. I liked the lyrical way it was written and the descriptions that created the image of the club for me.

    43) WIR WERDEN FICKEN – I enjoyed the little twist in the story, which was a clever way to take things. I’m assuming from her reaction this wasn’t the first time the mistake had happened! I’m not sure the dancing was quite central enough to the story to fully meet the brief. But it was an interesting take overall.

    44) SHAKE IT FOR ME – a well written scene and the descriptions were great, I could see the whole seedy moment. I didn’t find it particularly erotic, but it did make me smile at the end at her drawl and comments to his reaction.

    45) TERA-BITTEN TANGO – a different take on the lap dancing theme that a few other stories ran with and all the better for it. The imagination of the descriptions was great, and I’m a fan of sci-fi. But it didn’t quite work for me as an erotic piece.

    46) SLAVE TO THE RHYTHM – descriptive and interesting language. Another different take on the brief. Unfortunately I didn’t really follow the flow of the story at the end. And it didn’t really tweak my taste in erotica.

    48) THUNDERSTRUCK VS THE NUTCRACKER – This was another interesting and different take on the brief, which went in a different direction to what I expected. Unfortunately it didn’t really work for me, despite the twist at the end, it felt almost a little rushed to cram all the ideas in to the word limit and didn’t really embrace the dancing as a core part of the story.

    50) BELLS OF THE BALL – a very different approach to the story and brief. While it was a clever approach and nicely written, I was left trying to understand why it was all happening. And just why everyone was so ready to do more than dance. The dance seemed too secondary to the sex, which in itself felt rushed to fit in the limited word count, leaving me still wondering what was happening.

    51) A NEW GROOVE – nicely written and descriptive. It didn’t really get in to an erotic scene though and left me wondering what was special about the club, as it didn’t really describe anything happening beyond undoing some clothing. It left me waiting for the next part to understand more.

    52) BLOOD BLESSING – another different unique take on the brief. It’s well written and the descriptions of the dancing creates a strong image of the firelight dancing. I didn’t really gel with the overall story though, just not my taste, as clever as it was.

    55) CAT DANCE – this was a cute scene and the descriptions meant I could see the kitchen scene. However it didn’t really give me much more as to the people and was more of a scene than a story. I did appreciate the image of the naked cat though.

    56) UNDER THE STARS – a nicely described scene, with some great imagery of the views of the sea under moonlight. I could see that in my minds eye. It didn’t give me much more than that though, it was sweet and loving, rather than sexy. A lovely scene but not one that really made the most of the dance theme.

    57) A CELEBRATION OF SALVATION – I liked this as a story and I could hear the happiness at the downpour and could easily imagine the rain soaked scene. While there was a back story there, it was more of a moment, and the dancing was a minimal part of the whole thing which was a shame considering the brief.

  8. I want to start out by saying this was very hard for me because there were so many that were so well written. I made a “long list” to make things a little easier.

    11, 13, 15, 21, 24, 28, 34, 35, 42, 49, 53 are the ones who made my long list.

    Then there was a shortlist
    13. This entry gave me a giggle, in my opinion there was too much reference
    21. I love the path that you took with this, it just didn’t “thrill” me as much as others.
    24. I wish that I’d had 6 votes, I bounced back and forth between yours and another one.

    Last, in all reality; first, in no particular order these are the five who got my vote

    15
    28
    34
    35
    42

    I was captivated in these stories from beginning to end, so they inevitably received my vote Sorry for taking so much space in the comments here and not providing anything valuable for a writer to take away from this round.

  9. I was surprised in this round by how many stories had absolutely no smut in them!!! Some of these stories wouldn’t even get a PG-13 rating, let alone an R or X.

    Another trend was ending the story just as it was getting good! I was starting to scratch my head and then I got to my own story and it did the same thing! It built up the tension between the characters, but ended because they really got down and dirty. This is definitely something I’ll be thinking about if I make it to future rounds!

    8- This was the only story that used the word pirouette correctly… or at least in a way I could envision.
    13- Very clever! This was fun and enjoyable and a great read overall.
    17- I really thought this was beautiful! The scene was vivid and haunting and the end was perfect!
    25- Truly beautiful and stood out in this round as one of few stories that was only about two guys. Loved it!
    27- What a lovely little story! You tied this together very nicely and I thoroughly enjoyed it all the way through.
    28- Beautiful set up. Would like to know what happens after the club!
    29- This was SO BEAUTIFUL! You really captured both the dancing and the smut in a very graceful story. Loved it!
    30- Awful
    31- HAHAHAHA Fantastic twist at the end! I guess I would’ve liked a little more action, but it was a great story!
    34- This was a good premise and while it dealt with our current situation, it was fun and lighthearted. I just would’ve like to see the trouble they got up to!!!
    35- I feel like this needed one more sentence to bring the ending into focus, but maybe my dissatisfaction mirrored Cassie’s?
    36- I really like the parallel structure of this, flipping back and forth between her performance.
    41- HOT HOT HOT! This was really everything I was hoping for from this prompt! Incredibly well done!
    42- This was sweet and beautiful and hot and sad all at once. I guess the only thing critical I could say is that there is no actual dancing in the piece, only mention of it and as a sex metaphor. Regardless, you wrote a beautiful story!
    43- Hahahaha! Nice twist! I think you could’ve slowed down the sex scene for the reader even as it went fast for the characters.
    45- Wow! This was fun and unique and sexy! I really enjoyed this little sex adventure!
    50- Very interesting idea for this prompt! You definitely hit the dancing AND the smut!
    52- Absolutely beautiful! This was lyrical and totally hot! I really enjoyed reading this!
    53- This was so good! I enjoyed the set up and the twist at the end was perfect!
    54- I loved how you weaved the sensuality into the story telling. The reader can get a sense of the MC’s smoldering .

  10. 15)
    I liked the pacing and format. There was a good balance of narration and dialogue to paint a vivid picture in my mind. You did not overly describe anything unnecessarily allowing me the space to fill in the blanks with my own memories and imagination.
    Bdsm isn’t a turn on For me, But I didn’t want to stop reading!

    26)
    You painted a mood, not a picture, letting my mind do the work. I felt invested. The repetition of hesitate is nice!
    Also actually a hot story. When you do get into literal description of action you do it with finesse and leaves me wanting to see and know more.

    45)
    I laughed at “standard issued” but really loved the “completing the circuit”line. It felt poetic but had payoff in the final few lines. I didn’t immediately like that they just get to sex so easily… but the weird sci-fi scene debased me enough to wonder if this isn’t so abnormal.
    Respect for going out there with so few words and still trying to engage with potentially boring techno jargon. You handled this task well! My imagination and curiosity is engaged. I’d like to read more!

  11. This round took by far the longest to judge. Three stories immediately rose to the top for me and it took literally days to settle on a fourth to which to apportion my final vote. Also, since there were no entries that felt in need of a massive overhaul (possibly a result of a particularly fertile and inspiring brief), the format of my feedback will be slightly different, outlining why I enjoyed my top four so much and why the rest of the wonderful stories on my shortlist didn’t quite make the cut.

    SO.

    I voted for:

    16) SEXY SHIVERS

    Such an imaginative use of the prompt, the first story to get me *properly* aroused and the only one that had me literally shaking my head in wonder at how elegantly the theme of dancing had been co-opted for nefarious kinky purposes. I wish I’d written it. I can’t really think of higher praise than that. An automatic vote and a story I will be rereading many times.

    18) ALL THAT JIZZ

    This is the one I agonised over. I eventually gave it a vote based on the fact it had elements of twinning, one of my absolute favourite – and IMO most underrated – kinks. But there was lots to enjoy here, the theatricality, the cheekiness, the care with which the writer describes both the costumes and the ‘choreography’, and of course the use of the phrase “riff-walked” which took me straight back to my tap days.

    19) DANCE OF SUBMISSION

    This was another easy one, so to speak. The sumptuousness of the descriptive language here coupled with the daring choice to entirely supplant the ‘dance’ element with a BDSM spin, while still delivering – and then some – on the brief, made this a clear standout. And unsurprisingly left me with a severe hankering for some hardcore impact play *lip bite*.

    36) THE BALLERINA’S CORRUPTION

    Full disclosure: I have a real thing for ballerinas, rough sex and corruption, so this story was always going to be a shoe-in. Not to downplay the beautifully interwoven plot strands and gorgeously realised characters, of course, but with the image of a once pearlescent dancer on her knees, freshly choked and coated in filth in a back alley, this was only going to go one way…

    And so to the rest of my shortlist:

    11) IN CONTROL

    I loved the playful dynamic here, and the use of short, urgent sentences, but could have stood less dialogue in the penultimate paragraph. Greater economy in getting his point across would have made the dom a far more powerful figure and created a sexier end to an already scorching story.

    15) AT THE CLUB

    It’s well-documented that I love WLW and BDSM, and this delivered in spades. It also echoed a recent experience I had in a club, whch I found pleasing. BUT, while there may well be kink clubs with a dancefloor, it’s not the norm, and here it felt like the dancing was only there to tick a box before shifting gears to what the story was really about, namely some sexy schoolgirl roleplay, and to my mind that wasn’t really in the spirit of the brief.

    20) SHATTERED AND PUT TOGETHER

    Hats off to this story. Building in that level of detail and characterisation into such a meagre word count, whilst also including a running pottery metaphor is an impressive feat. It also left my little queer heart with ALL THE FEELS. An unfortunate side effect though is that I felt both the dancing and the sexing rather took a backseat, which was a shame. This was the story that 18) ALL THAT JIZZ edged out, so super close to top five.

    31) TEACHER’S PET

    Such a fun story! And so carefully constructed that the twist is both a surprise, but also entirely logical, sitting perfectly within the established events of the story (and thankfully mitigating the ‘wrongness’ alluded to by the narrator and keenly felt by the reader who didn’t know where the story was heading). The only slight clue I had, which sowed the merest inkling of doubt in my mind: who wears a pleated skirt to a school dance?

    33) DINNER DANCE

    I’m a sucker for scenes that riff on domesticity and traditional gender roles, while also subverting them. Here the pairing of an almost 50s aesthetic with, well, the ‘pairing’ of a speaker is particularly satisfying, as are the opening and closing lines, their shared nonchalance illustrating just how much spontaneous sex infuses this couple’s lives, whilst also beautifully bookending the narrative. A strong contender for a vote.

    39) STRETCHING IT OUT

    I love this story principally for its final line. The urgent, primal brutality of crushing one’s lips in a kiss really hits home the nature of Natalie and Nick’s relationship. Top notch verb deployment. For me the obstacle here was the dialogue, heightened almost to the point of melodrama. Beautifully poetic but by no means natural, it left me unconvinced and unfortunately took me out of the story somewhat.

    43) WIR WERDEN FICKEN

    Another wonderful twist! And as a result, even more enjoyable on second reading. Üle is fabulously drawn (or rather, her twin sister is) and of all the characters in this round she’s the one I found easiest to picture in my mind’s eye (as well as being easy in other ways of course). I just love this story’s celebration of unabashed sluttiness, and the confidence with which Üle’s sister takes what she wants. Again, very nearly a vote.

    44) SHAKE IT FOR ME

    Speaking of sluts, there’s a lot to be said for a slutty aesthetic even if you don’t get to the point of actually slutting it up. I adored everything about Aimee-Marie. Her outfit, her demeanour, her *entirely* deliberate use of chewing gum, and of course her deliciously teasing wit. A tad too much space devoted to lyrics here (I just wanted more of what was around them) but as a device they were deftly used, so I’ll let it slide.

  12. This was a fun round to read as the task left a lot of freedom to write a scene within your own comfort zone. You all rose to the challenge well. Entries which presented a full story scored higher with me but I enjoyed all 57. It wasn’t easy choosing my finalists. My comments are intended as constructive feedback. Remember I am an amateur myself, learning how to write in a way that pleases myself and my audience.

    3) Very real portrayal of the divide between M & F at such a hormone-driven stage. Some really cute, sexy touches. I like the promise of more. You’ve used your adjectives well, not overdone.

    5) Big fun, several sexy vistas to imagine, delivered in fast/furious shorthand. A different read.

    8) Highly visual. The physical act described delightfully.

    10) Subtly erotic, with a nice twist.

    11) Played with the dynamic well, the strip was executed seductively.

    13) Clever writing. Quite an erotic twist. For me the ‘hip’ words, although appreciated for flavour, distracted from the main action.

    14) Great focus on Nicky’s foot fetish – gave this an edge.

    18) Would have loved to be witness to such a hot dance.

    20) All the vignettes were well sketched.

    21) Wonderful fusion of sex and dance – Applause for this.

    22) Enjoyed both the message and the descriptions – I just missed out on the sexy (as did Mounia!)

    23) Fun and descriptive writing.

    25) Very erotic, a dance in every sense with the constantly shifting power between the 2 characters. Hot & charged with passion.

    27) Romantic and passionate – a full story.

    31) Conveyed the urgency & furtiveness well. Loved the twist but wondered if this was strictly ‘dancing’.

    37) Saucy fun with surprise factor.Tension built well with all the action remaining on the dance floor!

    38) Great variation of pace & urgency, I was left wanting more too!

    42) Touching story, which went full circle. Very graceful handling of the topic of older people having desires and sex.

    44) Vivid, with great descriptions. Interwoven song lyrics are a great touch.

    45) A novel story. Powerful impressions of lust and satisfaction in a futuristic setting – I was fascinated and hooked.

    47) Humorous, this pulled me in and sped me along to Margaret’s climax. Descriptions were well handled and the poignant twist made it stand out.

    48) Although I enjoyed this, perhaps too much wordcount went on on the set up, I’d rather have known more about Nikolay’s dance moves.

    49) Wonderful! Really got into character. A whole story with a twist I admired.

    53) Beautifully constructed, romantic slow-burn up to the surprise, then the change of pace well-executed – great tale.

    54) Refreshing treatment of dance theme, beautifully descriptive & uplifting writing.

    55) Fun & frisky – I enjoyed his naked cooking dance, it was very visual!

    56) Another entry which needed a higher wordcount. I’d advise trimming out some intro so that the end doesn’t suffer, we barely got to the ‘sexy’.

    57) Brilliant, I liked that the sex came 1st as a triumphant celebration, with the dance to follow. All kinds of exciting – skillful writing.

    7, 15, 17, 26, 32, 34, 41 – My shortlist. You don’t need any advice from me, you have fulfilled the brief and you write excellently with a real awareness of what the reader needs to see, feel and experience to make them invest in your words, your story.

  13. Just like with the previous round, I ran all the stories through a story editor, and this time concentrated on passive verbs, overused words, sticky sentences and cliches. I also added the overall summary of each story, and the Flesch reading ease.

    Passive verbs are grammatically not incorrect, but they do make your writing less direct.

    Sticky sentences contain glue words, which you should think of as the empty space in your writing. The more your reader has to pass through, the longer it takes for them to get to the actual meaning. The target is to keep glue words under 40% per sentence.

    Cliches make your writing sound tired.

    Just a note: some people have included lyrics with their stories. This is not wrong, but always consider adding a note to your story to give credit to the artist. Also, the lyrics influenced the scores of the stories.

    Thank you to everyone who has sent in their stories!

    Here’s my feedback:

    1. Lucia’s Sensual Dance Lesson
    I like how you repeated the dance theme in their kiss too. A sensual story, and there is so much promise in that last paragraph. I personally wouldn’t have used dialogue for the sound of the Cola tins opening.
    Editor:
    * Add a comma after ‘that’ in ‘I see that Lucia’.
    * Overused words: initial – ing (remove 4).
    * Summary: Overall = 84/100 (Grammar: 100 / Spelling: 82 / Style: 70)
    * Flesh Reading Ease: 73.4

    2. The First Dance
    I love this, the urgency, the way you have use a double meaning of the first dance. Great writing!
    Editor:
    * “collar bone” should be “collarbone”.
    * Change “I acquiesce” to “I agree” (I would leave it as is).
    * Remove “After all” (once more, I would leave it as is).
    * Summary: Overall = 90/100 (Grammar: 100 / Spelling: 100 / Style: 69)
    * Flesch Reading Ease: 88.1

    3. Slow Dance
    This made me smile, as I wondered how many youngsters happened to be in the same position in their lives. Nice, sweet story!
    Editor:
    * add a comma after ‘faded’ in ‘faded and a slow’.
    * ‘begun’ should be ‘began’ in ‘and we begun swaying’.
    * remove space before ‘…’ in ‘“ … you can go get’.
    * overused words: feel/feels/feeling/felt (remove 1).
    * Summary: Overall = 70/100 (Grammar: 52 / Spelling: 100 / Style: 59)
    * Flesch Reading Ease: 91.4

    4. On a square meter
    The sensuality of the music can be felt in the sensuality of your words. It’s like your words are dancing in the same way your characters are. Beautiful writing. There are some sentences that can be improved by leaving words out, or replacing some words with only one (for example: change ‘his eyes that penetrate the air’ to ‘his eyes penetrating the air’), but it doesn’t take away that this is a beautiful story.
    Editor:
    * Add a comma after ‘him’ in ‘looking at him I catch’.
    * passive verbs: ‘be conquered’ and ‘be taken’ (I would leave it like this.
    * Summary: Overall = 88/100 (Grammar: 100 / Spelling: 82 / Style: 82)
    * Flesch Reading Ease: 80.8

    5. Simply Imagine Them Naked
    I like the part where they were imagining the audience naked, but I found it a bit difficult to follow the story otherwise. Sorry.
    Editor:
    * add a space after ‘…’ in ‘Simply…imagine’.
    * passive verb: ‘was flashily complicated’ and ‘was cut’.
    * replace ‘began to play’ with ‘played’.
    * overused words: watch/notice/observe/very (remove 3).
    * Summary: Overall = 70/100 (Grammar: 84 / Spelling: 63 / Style: 63)
    * Flesch Reading Ease: 76.9

    6. Dance of the Warriors
    Oh I like these kind of warriors, and these kind of battles. What a beautiful way to battle, in a dance.
    Editor:
    * add a comma before ‘and’ in ‘for dominance and she was determined’.
    * passive verb: was determined
    * Summary: Overall = 88/100 (Grammar: 82 / Spelling: 100 / Style: 82)
    * Flesch Reading Ease: 69.2

    7. The Principal
    This is such a powerful piece of writing! You have managed to capture the intense longing so well in your words.
    Editor:
    * remove ‘one’ in ‘and caress any one of them’.
    * passive verb: is clenched
    * possible cliché: split second
    * sticky sentence: ‘I have never known need and desire as intense as this.’ (glue index: 63.6%)
    * overused words: smell/taste (remove 2), feel/feels/feeling/felt (remove 1)
    * Summary: Overall = 90/100 (Grammar: 100 / Spelling: 100 / Style: 70)
    * Flesch Reading Ease: 90.4

    8. Le Grand Écart
    Let me first just say this: WOW! The images in this story were so vivid, the sensual dancing, the stretched leg on the barre, that perfect split, the fucking. I really like this!
    Editor:
    * Overused words: -ly adverb (remove 4).
    * Summary: Overall = 94/100 (Grammar: 81 / Spelling: 100 / Style: 100)
    * Flesh Reading Ease: 80.1

    9. Olympic Dancing
    I like the idea you have here – muses. Great find. I did smile at the image of the man almost knocking over the woman he danced with, despite the Muse of Dance.
    Editor:
    * Should ‘scritch’ be ‘scratch’?
    * Passive verb: ‘Each word was punctuated by…’
    * Remove space before ‘…’ in ‘But …’
    * Sticky sentence: ‘Come tell Mama Erato what the problem is.’ (Glue index: 62.5%)
    * Summary: Overall = 65/100 (Grammar: 60 / Spelling: 53 / Style: 82)
    * Flesch Reading Ease: 79.0

    10. In His Arms
    Such a delicious dream to have, even though it was during a fever. I like how this story isn’t directly about the virus, but can still be about it. We should always have hope, right?!
    Editor:
    * overused words: feel/feels/feeling/felt (remove 3).
    * Summary: Overall = 100/100 (Grammar: 100 / Spelling: 100 / Style: 100)
    * Flesch Reading Ease: 90.5

    11. In Control
    Sometimes masters do need to let go a bit of the control, or at least let others believe they did, right? A sweet little story and I like how he takes back the control.
    Editor:
    * passive verbs: wasn’t supposed, was mesmerized, were not silenced.
    * change ‘click click’ to ‘click-click’ since it describes one sound.
    * sticky sentences: ‘This was his treat, not a way to reverse the roles.’ (glue index: 63.6%) and ‘You have been a good girl, and good girls get rewards.’ (glue index: 63.6%)
    * overused words: was/were (remove 1), feel/feels/feeling/felt (remove 2).
    * Summary: Overall = 90/100 (Grammar: 69 / Spelling: 100 / Style: 100)
    * Flesch Reading Ease: 94.5

    12. We do love ballet
    Oh and I think I now love ballet too! Sexy story.
    Editor:
    * add a comma after ‘Finally’ in ‘Finally you show up’, after ‘hand’ in ‘in my hand leaving me’, before ‘and’ in ‘a moment and that is’, before ‘and’ in ‘a moment and that is’, before ‘and’ in ‘the lips and I stroke’, before ‘and’ in ‘the lips and I stroke’, before ‘and’ in ‘my lap and it feels’ before ‘and’ in ‘the thought and pumps warm’ and after ‘me’ in ‘next to me smiling as’.
    * possible cliché: ‘fits like a glove’.
    * sticky sentences: ‘The lights go out and the performance starts.’ (glue index: 62.5%) and ‘I focus on other things to lengthen the moment.’ (glue index: 66.7%)
    * overused words: feel/feels/feeling/felt (remove 1).
    * Summary: Overall = 68/100 (Grammar: 36 / Spelling: 100 / Style: 69)
    * Flesch Reading Ease: 93.7

    13. Smutty Dancing
    This story made me smile, even though I saw the twist coming earlier in the story. I like how you have kept the theme of the one song going, from beginning to end.
    Editor:
    * remove comma after ‘like’ in ‘sounded like, Okee-Dokie’ and after ‘parts’ in ‘body parts, as they’.
    * change ‘were going to’ to ‘would’ in ‘eyes were going to pop’.
    * sticky sentences: They put their left foot in, then pulled it out, then put it back in again and shook it all about. They all shouted what sounded like, Okee-Dokie, then turned around and did the whole thing again with their right foot.’ (glue index: 61.9%)
    * overused words: that (remove 1), just/then (remove 1).
    * Summary: Overall = 81/100 (Grammar: 100 / Spelling: 60 / Style: 82)
    * Flesch Reading Ease: 84.1

    14. Temptation in Tulle
    As I read this story, I was transported to the ‘feel’ of 19th century novels, and the almost-forbidden longing of a ‘fair maiden’. His longing for her is nicely captured in your words, and I like the determination in that last sentence. The title also perfectly fits your story.
    Editor:
    * passive verbs: ‘hair was piled’, ‘was transfixed’, ‘be humiliated’ and ‘was determined’.
    * overused words: knew/know (remove 1)
    * Summary: Overall = 84/100 (Grammar: 82 / Spelling: 69 / Style: 100)
    * Flesch Reading Ease: 66.4

    15. At the club
    I like how you go from a dance scene to the start of a BDSM scene.
    Editor:
    * passive verb: ‘is crowded’ and ‘are chalked’.
    * unknown word: thruples (although I think everyone knows what you mean).
    * add a comma before ‘and’ in ‘squirm and my breathing’.
    * ‘school room’ should be ‘schoolroom’.
    * sticky sentence: ‘I look around, into the eyes of a cute brunette.’ (glue index: 70%)
    * Summary: Overall = 75/100 (Grammar: 43 / Spelling: 82 / Style: 100)
    * Flesch Reading Ease: 89.3

    16. Sexy Shivers
    Oh he is so mean to make her dance like that, but I can only imagine the tongue in his cheek with that last question. Towards the end you have two sentences following each other both with the words ‘as he’, which can take your reader out of the story.
    Editor:
    * replace ‘was going to’ with ‘would’, ‘started to sway’ with ‘swayed’, ‘started to drip’ with ‘dripped’.
    * passive verb: to be used
    * sticky sentences: ‘Not knowing what was going to happen next, was both frustrating and exhilarating.’ (glue index: 61.5%), ‘Again I nodded, a little slower this time.’ (glue index: 62.5%) and ‘My pelvis moved from left to right and from front to back, anything to still the uncomfortable feeling.’ (glue index: 66.7%)
    * overused words: could (remove 2), feel/feels/feeling/felt (remove 2).
    * Summary: Overall = 84/100 (Grammar: 100 / Spelling: 100 / Style: 52)
    * Flesch Reading Ease: 94.1

    17. The Great Rite
    What I really like about this story, is the last sentence, them returning to a woman and her lover, which makes the reader wonder whether all they have just read, about The Coven, The Goddess, and The Horned God was just the passion of the couple speaking. Nice story.
    Editor:
    * can you use stronger adjectives in ‘dark eyes’ and ‘strong hands’?
    * Summary: Overall = 94/100 (Grammar: 82 / Spelling: 100 / Style: 100)
    * Flesch Reading Ease: 82.8

    18. All That Jizz
    Sex on stage with a double dong. Quite an interesting idea there! Where I liked the first part of the story and read on with enthusiasm, the story sort of fell flat for me because of the ‘she did’ then ‘she did’. What I mean here is the two paragraphs starting with ‘Mina’. Mina did something, then Gigi did something, then Mina did something, etc. It took me out of the story. If you change this to showing, not telling, the story will become stronger.
    Editor:
    * add a comma before ‘and’ in ‘the curtain and she swept’.
    * sticky sentence ‘What have she and Mina been up to?’ (glue index: 75%)
    * Summary: Overall = 85/100 (Grammar: 54 / Spelling: 100 / Style: 100)
    * Flesch Reading Ease: 80.3

    19. Dance of Submission
    This must be the most sensual flogging scene I have read in a long time. Beautifully written, and an original way to execute the assignment!
    Editor:
    * replace comma after ‘relaxed’ with a full stop in ‘relaxed, she smiled’, and after ‘globe’ in ‘welted globe, her body’.
    * remove the comma after ‘thus’ in ‘Thus, began the dance’.
    * overused words: -ly adverb (remove 3).
    * Summary: Overall = 94/100 (Grammar: 100 / Spelling: 100 / Style: 81)
    * Flesch Reading Ease: 63.9

    20. Shattered and Put Together
    A love story! And such a sweet one too! I like how you got from that first ‘grainy’ dance, to the other firsts, the sex and then back to the dance again. For a moment there I was afraid this was going to add in some sadness, and glad I was proven wrong.
    Editor:
    * ‘lovestruck’ should be ‘love-struck’.
    * ‘it’ should be ‘its’ in ‘hand finding it way through’.
    * Sticky sentence: ‘It had seemed so subversive at the time.’ (Glue index: 75%), ‘In a haystack, so much pricklier than either had imagined, and too cold to even take their coats off.’ (Glue index: 63.2%) and ‘This was her life, and she couldn’t imagine life any other way.’ (Glue index: 69.2%)
    * Overused words: just/then (remove 1), watch/notice/observe/very (remove 1).
    * Summary: Overall = 73/100 (Grammar: 69 / Spelling: 82 / Style: 69)
    * Flesch Reading Ease: 70.6

    21. A Very Personal Performance
    I find myself wanting to know why she can’t know he is there, but like his arousal and memories while she’s doing her performance. I would’ve wanted this piece of writing to be broken up in more paragraphs.
    Editor:
    * ‘auditoreum’ should be ‘auditorium’ and ‘corsetted’ should be ‘corseted’.
    * replace ‘began to stir’ with ‘stirred’.
    * overused words: just/then (remove 1), feel/feels/feeling/felt (remove 2).
    * Summary: Overall = 76/100 (Grammar: 100 / Spelling: 59 / Style: 69)
    * Flesch Reading Ease: 80.1

    22. Friday night in Dahab
    Indeed, just like that the magic is over. Such an awful thing to say, and sadly these things really happen. Great story, great way of executing the assignment!
    Editor:
    * add a comma before ‘and’ in ‘have fun and he looks’, after ‘up’ in ‘speed things up but he’s’, after ‘dance’ in ‘belly dance right?’ and after ‘instead’ in ‘belly dance right?’.
    * flashpacker should be ‘flash packer’.
    * replace ‘starts talking’ with ‘talks’.
    * passive verbs: ‘isn’t offended’ and ‘her fun is ruined’.
    * Summary: Overall = 67/100 (Grammar: 70 / Spelling: 60 / Style: 70)
    * Flesch Reading Ease: 75.0

    23. Lord of the Dance
    This is beautifully written, and I love the bit of ‘dialect’ you have used here too. A sexy story of carefree summers.
    Editor
    * remove comma after ‘so’ in ‘So, we went’.
    * add a comma after ‘blaze’ in ’round the blaze leaping’.
    * sticky sentence: ‘Or it could have been the sparkle of the fire light.’ (glue index: 63.6%)
    * Summary: Overall = 80/100 (Grammar: 70 / Spelling: 70 / Style: 100)
    * Flesch Reading Ease: 87.0

    24. All By Myself
    As I read this, I actually became part of the character, feeling them dancing, feeling them enjoying the freedom, feeling their building lust, and imagining their release. Beautiful story.
    Editor:
    * Add a space before ‘yes’ in ‘Ohh…yes…’.
    * Sticky sentence: ‘Why have I not done this for so long?’ (Glue index: 77.8% – I would leave it like this).
    * Summary: Overall = 66/100 (Grammar: 47 / Spelling: 82 / Style: 69)
    * Flesch Reading Ease: 85.9

    25. Cabin boi
    This is such a sexy story. I almost feel like I was there, watching the dance, their excitement, their sex. I love how well the title fits the story too.
    Editor:
    * passive verbs: ‘A wall of patio doors was opened’, ‘Moonbeams were barely held’, ‘be taken’, ‘was now hindered’ and ‘were applied’.
    * add a comma after ‘tracks’ in ‘between tracks Avery fell’ and after ‘night’ in ‘the night shadows of’.
    * replace ‘began to fade’ with ‘faded’.
    * overused words: -ly adverb (remove 5).
    * Summary: Overall = 94/100 (Grammar: 100 / Spelling: 100 / Style: 81)
    * Flesch Reading Ease: 57.2

    26. Dancing dirty
    This reminded me of a night in Vegas. Sometimes a bit of dirty dancing definitely is required. Sexy story.
    Editor:
    * unknown word: que
    * sticky sentence: As if with a mind of its own, my hand slipped under his waistband. (glue index: 64.3%)
    * overused words: watch/notice/observe/very (remove 1), initial -ing (remove 1).
    * Summary: Overall = 94/100 (Grammar: 100 / Spelling: 82 / Style: 100)
    * Flesch Reading Ease: 83.8

    27. Danse Macabre
    There is something about dystopian and wartime stories that always capture my attention, especially when something ‘normal’ (in this case dancing) is added to it. Nice story.
    Editor:
    * passive verb: we had been surrounded by
    * replace ‘all through’ in ‘fucked all through that’ with ‘throughout’.
    * sticky sentences: ‘That night was to be our last together.’ (glue index: 75%) and ‘No time for grace, just the need to experience each other.’ (glue index: 81.8%)
    * overused words: initial – ing (remove 1).
    * Summary: Overall = 90/100 (Grammar: 100 / Spelling: 100 / Style: 69)
    * Flesch Reading Ease: 83.5

    28. Three, The Magic Number
    This is the kind of dance I would really like, a man in front, a man in the back, their hands on me and feeling their excitement for me. Sexy!
    Editor:
    * Replace ‘began to sway’ with ‘swayed’.
    * Replace ‘pausing to cup her breasts’ with ‘cupping’.
    * Sticky sentence: “All eyes had been on her the moment she walked into the club, but that was entirely the point;” (glue index: 68.4%)
    * Summary: Overall = 75/100 (Grammar: 58 / Spelling: 100 / Style: 67)
    * Flesch Reading Ease: 58.8

    29. Microcosms Of Natural Order
    As a lover of dandelion seeds (I am forever trying to take the perfect photo), this story really touched me, and next time I am on my tummy with my camera, I will be thinking of fairies. Lovely story.
    Editor:
    * Sticky sentences: ‘The day will continue as ordained, followed by a peaceful night.’ (Glue index: 63.6%) and ‘As for tomorrow, only time and the Dance of Morning will tell.’ (Glue index: 75%).
    * Overused words: -ly adverb (remove 1).
    * Summary: Overall = 100/100 (Grammar: 100 / Spelling: 100 / Style: 100)
    * Flesch Reading Ease: 61.8

    30. Introduction to the Dance
    The story definitely has potential, but still needs some editing. I wondered why he pulled her with him to dance if she said before she didn’t dance? I also think her last thought before she fell asleep was not complete? Maybe it would’ve been better to add an ellipses (‘…’) rather than a question mark.
    Editor:
    * Replace ‘in a sharp manner’ with ‘sharply’.
    * Add a comma after ‘backside’ in ‘grabbed her backside pulling her’, after ‘there’ in ‘stood there slowly rocking’, after ‘shirt’ in ‘his sweat-stained shirt revealing’, after ‘him’ in ‘straddled him allowing’, after ‘foreplay’ in ‘was no foreplay just raw’ and after ‘minutes’ in ‘lasted minutes such was’.
    * Sticky sentences: ‘He asked if she would like to dance.’ (Glue index: 62.5%) and ‘Mike asked her if she would like to go up to his room.’ (Glue index: 69.2%)
    * Overused words: feel/feels/feeling/felt (remove 1), initial – ing (remove 1).
    * Summary: Overall = 94/100 (Grammar: 81 / Spelling: 100 / Style: 100)
    * Flesch Reading Ease: 84.9

    31. Teachers Pet
    I might just be in love with this story! This is some brilliant writing, with words that propel you forward to read more, but with a pacing that makes you take in every single detail of a scene. Not a word is wasted. Sentences that stood out for me are: “I should stop this, but my feet betray me. They know the path to heaven and shuffle apart to show him the way.” and “As his fingers stutter up my thigh, I can’t tell which of us is trembling.”
    Editor:
    * Passive verbs: “be touched” and “be heard” and “be fired” ( I found all of them fitting in the story).
    * Add a comma after ‘loudly’ in “gasps so loudly I’m worried”.
    * Summary: Overall = 88/100 (Grammar: 82 / Spelling: 82 / Style: 100)
    * Flesh Reading Ease: 89.3

    32. Drink My Honey
    There is such playfulness in this story, underline by sexual tension, and it made me want to hold my breath to see if something would happen between them. I love the anticipation, and I love the dancing in the rain too!
    Editor:
    * passive verbs: ‘was fueled by’ and ‘was worked up’.
    * always add a space after ‘…’
    * sticky sentence: ‘The real treat was frolicking in mud puddles on the other side of the open door.’ (glue index: 62.5%)
    * Summary: Overall = 78/100 (Grammar: 52 / Spelling: 100 / Style: 82)
    * Flesh Reading Ease: 69.6

    33. Dinner Dance
    I like how the way you have built up this story almost feels like music that starts gently and then builds up to a crescendo, and a nice, satisfying ending. There are some sentences that don’t have an active verb, which (to me) came across as a slightly false note in your music, such as “Moaning into the kiss as he hardened against her, taking her hand, pulling her into a pirouette.” and “Unbuckling his jeans, sending them tumbling to the floor.” and “Wrapping her long blonde hair around his hand, pulling her onto tiptoes, pounding deep inside her.”
    Editor:
    * “lost in each others eyes” should be “lost in each other’s eyes”.
    * Remove comma after ‘swaying’ in “swaying, rhythmically”.
    * Overused words: -ly adverb (remove 1), initial – ing (remove 5), feel/feels/feeling/felt (remove 1).
    * Summary: Overall = 94/100 (Grammar: 82 / Spelling: 100 / Style: 100)
    * Flesch Reading Ease: 67.2

    34. Doing More Than Dishes
    I like how you have kept the music in your story up to the end. Personally I would’ve left out the first two paragraphs, and have briefly worked the ‘being quarantined together’ into the rest of the story. Then you would’ve had extra words to say what the bet was, as that one sentence now sort of hangs in the air. I found myself, as I read on, waiting to read more about the bet.
    Editor:
    * Overused words: was/were (remove 2), initial – ing (remove 2).
    * Summary: Overall = 94/100 (Grammar: 100 / Spelling: 82 / Style: 100)
    * Flesch Reading Ease: 87.6

    35. Prom Night
    Okay, I didn’t see that end coming! I like the idea of the story, but think with more editing the story can become stronger. For instance, what is the function of the mini-skirt she wore. You mention it, but I assume that was not the surprise, but the not wearing underwear was?
    Editor:
    * ‘eachothers’ should be ‘each other’s’
    * Add a comma after ‘head’ in ‘of her head he gave her’, and after ‘bulge’ in ‘grabbed the bulge which’.
    * Replace ‘began to lick’ with ‘licked’.
    * Overused words: feel/feels/feeling/felt (remove 1).
    * Summary: Overall = 70/100 (Grammar: 69 / Spelling: 82 / Style: 59)
    * Flesch Reading Ease: 87.6

    36. The Ballerina’s Corruption
    I like how you have told two stories in one, and centered it around her dance. Great writing.
    Editor:
    * add a comma before ‘and’ in ‘her position and it began’, and before ‘and’ in ‘climax broke and she fell’.
    * possible cliche: ‘never seen before’.
    * sticky sentence: The groan he let out was enough to make her brave. (glue index: 63.6%)
    * overused words: feel/feels/feeling/felt (remove 4), look (remove 1).
    * Summary: Overall = 90/100 (Grammar: 69 / Spelling: 100 / Style: 100)
    * Flesch Reading Ease: 75.7

    37. Turn Up the Heat
    I love the story, love the tempo, the heat, the sexiness of it, until the paragraph starting with ‘Phil pulled Angie upright…’ I think you wanted to put so much in there that you lost me a bit. Still, I like the story.
    Editor:
    * add a comma after ‘coach’ in ‘Pierre, their coach thundered’, and before ‘and’ in ‘from behind and she turned’.
    * replace ‘was going to’ with ‘would’ in ‘heat was going to be’.
    * overused words: feel/feels/feeling/felt (remove 1).
    * Summary: Overall = 81/100 (Grammar: 61 / Spelling: 100 / Style: 82)
    * Flesch Reading Ease: 86.2

    38. Rockette Revelry
    I was momentarily confused by the ten and five and then fifteen minutes, but when I read it again, I realized how it fitted in. I love that first it’s about the dance, and then you change over to a different kind of dance. Very sexy.
    Editor:
    * Passive verbs: “Her state could almost be described” and “whether they were concealed or not”.
    * Sticky sentence (63.6 % glue words): “Sarah asked, making sure that they both still wanted to leave some time to compose themselves before the show started up again.”
    * Overused words: was/were (remove 2), could (remove 3), feel/feels/feeling/felt (remove 1).
    * Summary: Overall = 88/100 (Grammar: 82 / Spelling: 100 / Style: 82)
    * Flesh Reading Ease: 70.1

    39. Stretching It Out
    A sweet story of sexual longing. I like it. Just watch out for sentences like ‘The way his arms and hands so easily mold to her body as they move.’ and the one following it, as there is no active verb, and the sentence will be stronger if you use an active verb.
    Editor:
    * add a comma after ‘confused’ in ‘watched, confused as he’.
    * passive verb: I was scared
    * possible cliche: they lost themselves
    * sticky sentence: She never has to worry about being dropped or being thrown off the dance. (glue index: 64.3%)
    * overused words: -ly adverb (remove 1), feel/feels/feeling/felt (remove 1), initial – ing (remove 1).
    * Summary: Overall = 94/100 (Grammar: 100 / Spelling: 100 / Style: 82)
    * Flesh Reading Ease: 83.6

    40. Disco Fever
    Definitely a nice and sexy story. Towards the end you have used ‘as he’ twice in consecutive sentences, and the sentence ‘Exploring my depths to the rhythm of the bass pulsing outside the door.’ seems to hang in the air a bit. I would’ve added it to the sentence preceding it.
    Editor:
    * replace the comma with ‘;’ in ‘cross the floor, the music’.
    * ‘low watt’ should be ‘low-watt’.
    * sticky sentence: He’s the sexiest man in the place. (glue index: 62.5%)
    * Summary: Overall = 94/100 (Grammar: 82 / Spelling: 100 / Style: 100)
    * Flesh Reading Ease: 89.0

    41. Our Last Klubnacht
    This is another story where I love the way the sexy parts tie in perfectly with the music, both in the same rhythm and beat. There are some lovely sentences in here, such as “our bodies grinding together, sweat and scent flowing through open boundaries” and the double layer in the last sentence.
    Editor:
    * Passive verbs: is punctuated, you are fucked, you are suspended, is purified.
    * Add ‘onto’ before ‘his’ in “pushing yourself down his cock”.
    * Replace ‘are going to’ with ‘will’ in “Neither of us are going to come”.
    * Overused words: feel/feels/feeling/felt (remove 1).
    * Summary: Overall = 81/100 (Grammar: 100 / Spelling: 82 / Style: 60)
    * Flesh Reading Ease: 79.6

    42. The closing dance
    Sometimes even a sad story can be erotic. Their sweet love, and the way you have incorporated ‘dance’ in this story is really beautiful.
    Editor:
    * passive verbs: ‘his was covered by a panama’, ‘I was dumbfounded’.
    * add a comma after ‘later’ in ‘hour later the gentleman’
    * ‘hundred dollar bill’ should be ‘hundred-dollar bill’.
    * sticky sentence: I was dumbfounded for a moment, not at all prepared to see the couple like this. (glue index: 75%)
    * overused words: -ly adverb (remove 2)
    * Summary: Overall = 84/100 (Grammar: 69 / Spelling: 100 / Style: 82)
    * Flesh Reading Ease: 82.4

    43. Wir Werden Ficken
    That twist at the end – brilliant. It seems both sisters like it hard and fast! There were some paragraphs where you have used a lot of commas, where I thought it would’ve enhanced the reading if you had broken them into different sentences. Other than that, great story.
    Editor:
    * passive verbs: was rammed, be slowed.
    * ‘hip bone’ should be ‘hipbone’.
    * add a comma before ‘and’ in ‘dress and I wasted no’.
    * sticky sentences: ‘She was in such a hurry again, fucking like she danced, I needed to slow things down or this would be over very quickly. But she would not be slowed, so it was indeed over very quickly…’ (glue index: 62.5% and 61.5%)
    * overused words: -ly adverb (remove 3), initial – ing (remove 2).
    * Summary: Overall = 73/100 (Grammar: 60 / Spelling: 100 / Style: 60)
    * Flesh Reading Ease: 62.9

    44. Shake It For Me
    Where I like the story, I would’ve liked to see a bit less lyrics and more story. The lyrics help to tell the story, and that is fine, but then add a line of credit to the artist at the end. I do like the end of the story, which gives promise for more.
    Editor:
    * passive verbs: was designed, was perched.
    * ‘gunbelt’ should be ‘gun belt’.
    * ‘tool box’ should be ‘toolbox’.
    * Summary: Overall = 62/100 (Grammar: 69 / Spelling: 47 / Style: 69)
    * Flesh Reading Ease: 72.3

    45. Tera-Bitten Tango
    Where technically a hyphenated word is seen as one word, not two, I have decided to allow the title as is. That said, I love the dystopian, yet futuristic feel of this story, and the connection they have. I smiled at his ‘hard disk’ and her ‘backdoor’.
    Editor:
    * ‘biomechatronic’ was flagged as an unknown word; suggested to change it to: bio-mechatronic
    * replace ‘begins to stroke’ with ‘strokes’.
    * overused words: initial -ing (remove 1).
    * Summary: Overall = 77/100 (Grammar: 81 / Spelling: 81 / Style: 68)
    * Flesh Reading Ease: 75.5

    46. Slave to the Rhythm
    As I read this story, this image started forming in my head of Yasmine and her Master both being locked down and not allowed any physical contact, which is why she has to perform her tasks in front of the webcam. I don’t know if this was intended, and in these times we all understand why the tasks are performed like this, but if the reason is other than that, maybe a bit of an explanation of why they are apart is necessary in the story. There are two ‘images’ in the story I really like: the slight slip with the stilettos and the pigtails.
    Editor:
    * Replace ‘by no means’ with ‘not’ in “was by no means a dancer” to make the sentence stronger.
    * Remove ‘in any case’ in “was by no means a dancer” to enhance readability.
    * Add a comma after ‘voyeur’ in “metallic voyeur she”.
    * Passive verb: “be harshly punished”.
    * Replace “in spite of” with “despite”.
    * Fearousal is not a word (but I love when words are made up like this).
    * Sticky sentence: “She was by no means a dancer, and even the simplest of routines took time.” Solve this by changing it to: “She was not a dancer. Even the simplest of routines took time.”
    * Overused words: was/were (remove 3), -ly adverb (remove 1).
    * Summary: Overall = 76/100 (Grammar: 100 / Spelling: 69 / Style: 60)
    * Flesh Reading Ease: 70.9

    47. Last Tango at Sandominco’s
    This is beautiful and tender. I love the way you have included the ‘sex scene’, and it makes the end even more unexpected. When I reached the end, I actually sat staring at those last four words for a while.
    Editor:
    * Passive verbs: ‘My concerns were alleviated’, ‘was greatly improved’, ‘her heart was attached’, and ‘she was starved’.
    * Add a comma after ‘smiling’ in ‘looking up smiling she said’.
    * Sticky sentence: ‘She would be here any minute now, always on time.’ (Glue index: 80%).
    * Overused words: was/were (remove 3), had (remove 3), watch/notice/observe/very (remove 2).
    * Summary: Overall = 69/100 (Grammar: 82 / Spelling: 82 / Style: 43)
    * Flesh Reading Ease: 78.1

    48. Thunderstruck Vs The Nutcracker
    This story struck a chord with me, reminding me of the friend who died of AIDS, and how he had to hide his true nature. By the time he could finally come out for who he really was, he was already infected. I wrote his story, with his blessing, and maybe one day I will share it. That said, this story has several layers, with the sexy fun in it, but also the serious undertone; the message. Well written, a good story.
    Editor:
    * ‘headbanging’ should be ‘head-banging’ or ‘head banging’.
    * Remove ‘and choose’ in ‘pick and choose’.
    * Passive verb: ‘he was tremendously kindled’. Also ‘You are cordially invited’ but this one fits perfectly.
    * Potential redundancy: ‘pick and choose’.
    * Summary: Overall = 84/100 (Grammar: 100 / Spelling: 82 / Style: 69)
    * Flesh Reading Ease: 78.2

    49. Dream, Dream, Dream, Dream…
    This is beautifully written, and a beautiful, nostalgic story. I love the conversational tone of it, and the sad tinge in the end gets me every time I read it. Really love this!
    Editor:
    * Two passive verbs: “was centered” and “my dreams have been made” (I find both of them fit in the story).
    * Two sticky sentences: “That’s as close as we could get but it was close enough for me to think, ‘I sure like the smell of this man’.” and “If my brothers hadn’t caught us there, in that moment… well, that’s what my dreams have been made of these last 50 years, as sure as the beating you got that day has been in my nightmares. (In my opinion, the conversational tone of your story allows for sticky sentences).
    * Overused words: that (remove 2), knew/know (remove 2), feel/feels/feeling/felt (remove 1), smell/taste (remove 1).
    * ‘smalltown’ should be ‘small-town’.
    * Summary: Overall = 82/100 (Grammar: 82 / Spelling: 82 / Style: 82)
    * Flesh Reading Ease: 88.2

    50. Bells of the Ball
    A naked dance in the dark – such an interesting and sexy idea! I enjoyed the sexiness of this, but did wonder where he got the condom from if they are all naked?
    Editor:
    * ‘high pitched’ should be ‘high-pitched’ and ‘g-spot’ should be ‘G-spot’.
    * Remove either ‘so’ or ‘incredibly’ in ‘I’m so incredibly wet.’
    * Add a comma after ‘order’ in ‘In short order the’, after ‘dance’ in ‘As we dance I can’ and after ‘flourish’ in ‘final flourish the music’.
    * Overused words: smell/taste (remove 1)
    * Summary: Overall = 58/100 (Grammar: 53 / Spelling: 60 / Style: 60)
    * Flesh Reading Ease: 91.4

    51. A New Groove
    I like that you left the end of your story open, for the reader to fill it in, and I love that you allow the reader to fill in the image of the ‘I person’ in your story. Great writing.
    Editor:
    * add comma before ‘and’ in ‘few minutes and I was’.
    * add a comma before ‘and’ and after ‘hand’ in ‘I nod and he takes my hand guiding’.
    * add a comma after ‘hips’ in ‘grabs my hips pulling me’.
    * sticky sentence: ‘Having been told this was the place to be on a Friday night, I had hoped for a line at the door to calm my nerves.’ (glue index: 69.2%) and ‘I am excited yet comfortable at the same time.’ (glue index: 66.7%)
    * Summary: Overall = 78/100 (Grammar: 52 / Spelling: 82 / Style: 100)
    * Flesh Reading Ease: 99.2

    52. Blood Blessing
    I do love a story with rituals, and there is something about adding blood to the story too, although I know this is not everyone’s cup of tea. I do like the sex scene too.
    Is there maybe a ‘the’ missing here: “I squeeze man’s hardness…”?
    Editor:
    * Add a comma after ‘moans’ in ‘my moans and the drums’.
    * Replace ‘begins to tremble’ by ‘trembles’.
    * Passive verb: ‘His torso and legs are washed in…’.
    * Overused words: initial – ing (remove 2), feel/feels/feeling/felt (remove 1).
    * Summary: Overall = 84/100 (Grammar: 69 / Spelling: 100 / Style: 82)
    * Flesh Reading Ease: 85.3

    53. The First of Many
    Beautiful, sensual, gentle writing. Love the dance, the feelings, and that it didn’t end after their first orgasm.
    Editor:
    * add a comma before ‘and’ in ‘lovely people and I’d become’, after ‘dancer’ in ‘adept dancer but’, and before ‘and’ in ‘was mutual and we abandoned’.
    * replace ‘began to shift’ with ‘shifted’, ‘began to tighten’ with ‘tightened’, ‘began to stir’ with ‘stirred’, ‘began to unite’ with ‘united’, ‘began to present’ with ‘presented’.
    * remove ‘together’ at the end of the story.
    * possible cliche: from head to toe.
    * overused words: feel/feels/feeling/felt (remove 1).
    * Summary: Overall = 61/100 (Grammar: 47 / Spelling: 100 / Style: 36)
    * Flesh Reading Ease: 76.7

    54. Sapphic Soliloquy
    Sometimes all a story need is a bit of sexual tension to make it erotic. That, and the sadness you have weaved through your words.
    Editor:
    * Add a comma after ; office’ in ‘my office sniffling’, after ‘to’ in ‘but had to of course’, and after ‘unfulfilled’ in ‘remain unfulfilled but I’.
    * Consider to remove ‘of course’.
    * Sticky sentence: ‘I didn’t want to let her go but had to of course.’ (Glue index: 69.2%)
    * Overused words: had (remove 4).
    * Summary: Overall = 70/100 (Grammar: 52 / Spelling: 100 / Style: 59)
    * Flesh Reading Ease: 71.9

    55. Cat Dance
    The way you described him dancing the music only he could hear, I actually saw it in my mind. I was momentarily confused by ‘ The band on her head was irritating’ which made me go back over the first paragraph to see if I had missed something. However, as I read on, I actually liked that you kept your reader guessing at what band you are talking about. In the penultimate paragraph you have used ‘only’ twice in two consecutive sentences. I would’ve left one of them out.
    Editor:
    * Replace ‘food’s not going to warm’ with ‘food will not warm’.
    * Remove comma after ‘jump’ in ‘didn’t jump, or act’.
    * Overused words: watch/notice/observe/very (remove 1), feel/feels/feeling/felt (remove 1).
    * Summary: Overall = 90/100 (Grammar: 100 / Spelling: 100 / Style: 70)
    * Flesh Reading Ease: 83.1

    56. Under the Stars
    For a moment there I was confused for Michael being tired of Sarah’s pushing, but them being soulmates, but I read it again and see the he knew she only had their best interest at heart. Love the moonlight dancing.
    Editor:
    * passive verb: was filled, was reflected.
    * sticky sentences: ‘Are you sure you don’t want to spend another night?’ (glue index: 63.6%), ‘We don’t have to go back to work until next week.’ (glue index: 66.7%), ‘They had been driving for over nine hours and still had another hour to go.’ (glue index: 66.7%)
    * Summary: Overall = 94/100 (Grammar: 100 / Spelling: 82 / Style: 100)
    * Flesh Reading Ease: 84.1

    57. A Celebration Of Salvation
    There is something about being out in the rain, about being all wet from it and have a good fuck. It’s even more intense when there is the relief of rain after a long period of drought. It makes the fuck even more intense. You have managed to capture the sexiness, the need, and the relief in this story. And then the beautiful end, with the gentle dance. Well done!
    Editor:
    * Add a comma after ‘close’ in ‘Pulling me close we slowly’.
    * Sticky sentence: ‘This is not a gentle coupling of lovers, but a down and dirty hard fuck against the side of our house.’ (Glue index: 61.9%)
    * Overused words: -ly adverb (remove 2), initial -ing (remove 3).
    * Summary: Overall = 94/100 (Grammar: 82 / Spelling: 100 / Style: 100)
    * Flesh Reading Ease: 74.5

    1. Thank you for the constructive feedback Marie, and the lovely comment. I’m so happy you enjoyed my story. I was hoping people would be able to see how important the dance was to the story, even though it doesn’t happen until the very end.

  14. Feedback for round 4: I chose to use a “teacher” strategy called “2 Stars and a Wish” for feedback this time around. That’s two things well done and one suggestion or question or critique.

    1.Lucia’s Sensual Dance Lesson
    Star: Starting with a quote puts the reader right in the middle of the action.
    Star: Specific word choices – especially in description (adjectives/adverbs).
    Wish: Focus more on the plot and creating some tension in the events…something more memorable than cunnilingus.

    2.The First Dance *
    Star: Present tense works well to make the language more active and precise/concise.
    Star: This doesn’t try too hard to impress with linguistic acrobatics. The language is simple and effective.
    Wish: I like that I had to pay attention to realize they were just married…but I was a little confused by the “first dance.” You mention this is not their first dance, then say they missed their first dance…then say again that they didn’t. I’m assuming this is a metaphor for sex, as well…so a play on words, but I had to read it a few times. It wasn’t clear to me.

    3.Slow Dance
    Star: I definitely got a sense of the main character, and felt for him in this situation.
    Star: Realistic dialogue.
    Wish: begun = began

    4.On a Square Meter
    Star: Sets the scene well right away.
    Star: Present tense/active voice puts the reader in the action.
    Wish: It’s a little melodramatic…

    5.Simply Imagine Them Naked
    Star: Creative use of language and description of each character.
    Star: Cute opening dialogue, pulled me in right away.
    Wish: I was a little confused by the construction of this piece: the audience members’ names followed by a colon and then what I am assuming the narrator imagines themselves doing with the audience member in question. I also wasn’t sure what a celebrant was, in this context. I had to look it up, which gave away the country of origin of the writer of this piece.

    6.Dance of the Warrior *
    Star: The opening paragraph does a good job of introducing the characters, setting the scene, and explaining the situation.
    Star: Good sentence variety.
    Wish: I’m trying to figure out how Atrea mastered Linnea…just through the movements of the dance? Maybe I’m missing something, but I do like the last line.

    7.The Principal
    Star: Present tense/active voice puts the reader right in the action from the first sentence.
    Star: The short sentences and repetitive sentence beginnings build momentum and build tension.
    Wish: I’m a little confused by the ending. She’s ready and needs him now, but I see her as just an audience member. Does she have a closer connection to him that I missed? I noticed his slight smile when their eyes locked….

    8.Le Grand Ecart
    Star: It’s definitely sexy…I could visualize her leg up on that bar…and the resulting view.
    Star: The description is good. It is easy to visualize the action.
    Wish: I wish this were more of a story than a scene.

    9.Olympic Dancing *
    Star: Good description of the characters.
    Star: It’s a unique idea.
    Wish: I didn’t find this one terribly sexy. The only mention of anything erotic was a grazing tongue and a “lascivious, slurping, lick…”

    10.In His Arms
    Star: There is a good sense of erotic description here.
    Star: It gets right to the point, putting the reader in the action immediately.
    Wish: Nearly every sentence is subject/noun construction, beginning a pronoun followed by a verb. Sentence variety would improve this piece.

    11.In Control *
    Star: Good attention to detail (“the click, click of the stilettos on the wooden floor”).
    Star: The scene is clearly explained, leaving no room for confusion.
    Wish: Still more of a scene than a story.

    12.We Do Love Ballet
    Star: The first line immediately builds character and creates tension.
    Star: Public sex is hot, and the panties-in-the-hand detail is tantalizing.
    Wish: I would love a better sense of something between them beyond this moment. Less of a scene and more of a story.

    13.Smutty Dancing *
    Star: I like how the voice/word choices of the narrator (and the dialogue) fits the period. It helps create the setting.
    Star: Funny twist…and the word choices just make it funnier – “…and saw a bat and balls The Babe would be proud of…” – I like the tie-in with the song at the end, too.
    Wish: Tighter language, maybe (for example, cut words that aren’t necessary to leave room for more story/description). I noticed a few run-on sentences, as well.

    14.Temptation in Tulle
    Star: Lots of specific setting detail in the first few sentences.
    Star: The description builds the main character’s desire well.
    Wish: I got a sense of the main character, but little sense of anyone else. Without any interaction between them…even just a glance or something…I had a hard time connecting to her. She is simply a prop.

    15.At the Club *
    Star: Starting with dialogue pulls the reader right into the action.
    Star: Having the characters interact right away builds connection between them and with the reader. I like the open-ended ending…which leaves room for a story to build from here.
    Wish: The fact that I want the story to continue is a good sign.

    16.Sexy Shivers
    Star: Realistic clear dialogue
    Star: Action is easy to follow
    Wish: I would have liked a bit more description. This piece just doesn’t have much but a series of actions interspersed by dialogue, so I have little sense of the characters and little to hang on to as far as a real story. (It also just barely fits the theme of dancing, in my opinion.)

    17.The Great Rite **
    Star: There is a poetic rhythm to the language. It flows nicely.
    Star: Good word choices…also, I like the active, present tense.
    Wish: I don’t really have a wish for this one. It’s good the way it is.

    18.All That Jizz
    Star: Well, that was an interesting way for a threesome to get off together!
    Star: Clear description of actions
    Wish: I didn’t get a real sense of character or a connection to a wider story outside of the scene.

    19.Dance of Submission *
    Star: Clear description
    Star: Strong, precise word choices
    Wish: This is more of a scene than a story, and while it may be a metaphorical “dance,” it pushes the boundaries of the prompt.

    20.Shattered and Put Together *
    Star: There is enough backstory that I get a sense of the characters and care about them.
    Star: This feels like a story, nostalgic and sweet.
    Wish: I noticed a few punctuation errors, and a little tension might have been nice. It’s a sweet reminiscence, but the events aren’t all that memorable. I like the way the dance is tied in here.

    21.A Very Personal Performance *
    Star: A good description of her appearance.
    Star: This is a tightly-created scene.
    Wish: I want to know more about them and their relationship. Why would she be angry he is there? What happened between them?

    22.Friday Night in Dahab
    Star: Delivers a good sense of setting through details.
    Star: A unique situation.
    Wish: I didn’t find this one especially erotic. Especially with the negative turn of events at the end.

    23.Lord of the Dance **
    Star: Delivers a good sense of setting through details.
    Star: Dialogue/dialect helps create the setting.
    Wish: I would love the next part now, please! What goes on in that tent?!

    24.All By Myself
    Star: Let’s hear it for self-pleasure! I get a good sense of the character and her motivation.
    Star: Good description
    Wish: This piece offers a bit of tension with the backstory, which is good. It’s important to know why she wants to do this alone, but there might be too much room given to him in this story that could have been left for more description of her and her actions.

    25.Cabin Boi
    Star: I get a sense of the characters…enough to care about them.
    Star: Good word choices. Good sentence structure and variety. The language flows and feels conversational and down-to-earth.
    Wish: I would have liked more description of the strip tease and the actual sex act…it would have made the piece more erotic.

    26. Dancing Dirty **
    Star: Good opening line/hook…it immediately makes me wonder what “them” is referring to.
    Star: It’s a tight story – without wasted words or description…and pretty damn sexy, too.
    Wish: I’d liked to have gotten a better sense of him/his character, but the tight word count makes that understandably difficult.

    27.Danse Macabre **
    Star: Just enough backstory to set the story firmly in a place and time.
    Star: A tight story…it felt complete – with a beginning, middle, and end – a full story arc.
    Wish: I just want to know more about them, but with the word count, that’s not possible.

    28.Three, the Magic Number
    Star: Good description of characters’ movements.
    Star: Pretty hot imagery.
    Wish: This is more scene than story.

    29.Microcosms of Natural Order *
    Star: Huh…that was original…I like the concept, and that it came toward the end, like a surprise.
    Star: Good description of the two beings – it felt balanced.
    Wish: I’d like to know a bit more about these here fairies.

    30.Introduction to the Dance
    Star: The situation is clearly set up.
    Star: Simple, clear language.
    Wish: The sentence structure felt clipped, which hurt the flow of the piece. And I didn’t really find enough backstory or motivation for me to care about the characters.

    31.Teacher’s Pet *
    Star: Humorous ending!
    Star: Good description of the characters and actions.
    Wish: I am a little confused by the title – are they both adults (chaperones?) Because that is an admirable twist, since I assumed at first these were kids at the dance. Or is one of them a teacher and the other a student?

    32.Drink My Honey **
    Star: Good voice! I liked the style of the piece/writing right away.
    Star: Excellent description and unique word choices/phrasing. It stands out because of it.
    Wish: I only wish there were more!

    33.Dinner Dance *
    Star: I get a good sense of the connection between these two characters.
    Star: I found this to be both romantic and sexy.
    Wish: The sex bit was over so quickly! Damned word count.

    34.Doing More Than Dishes *
    Star: I always appreciate a bit of backstory to help root the characters and give context to the action.
    Star: Cute ending! Definitely turns up the tension.
    Wish: This feels like just the beginning…I’d like to see how this plays out.

    35.Prom Night
    Star: Mention of a “hidden surprise” piqued my interest.
    Star: Good description of the dress.
    Wish: I didn’t feel very connected to these characters. Just two kids fucking on prom night…there wasn’t a lot to help it stand out or make it unique or memorable.

    36.The Ballerina’s Corruption *
    Star: I like the back and forth construction of this piece, alternating between the dance and the sex act.
    Star: Well-written — good word choice and sentence variety.
    Wish: “The personification of temptation” is so vague and subjective.

    37.Turn Up the Heat *
    Star: I immediately heard the voice/character of Pierre. Dialogue was well-done.
    Star: A good sense of tension.
    Wish: Wow…that escalated quickly! Stories like this one make me sad there is a word count.

    38.Rockette Revelry *
    Star: A unique choice of character/setting.
    Star: Stolen quickies can be so hot!
    Wish: It felt rushed…but then, I guess that makes sense, eh?

    39.Stretching It Out
    Star: Good description of character appearance.
    Star: Realistic, natural dialogue.
    Wish: The past tense/recollection format of this takes the steam out of the action.

    40.Disco Fever
    Star: Good last line.
    Star: Clear description.
    Wish: The action moved too quickly…not enough set up or description to pull me in. It felt like it just ran across the surface.

    41.Our Last Klubnacht
    Star: This manages to quickly set a scene with specific details.
    Star: Language flows well.
    Wish: The wrap-up seemed too quick. There is a dick swelling in a throat, and two sentences later, the story is done.

    42.The Closing Dance **
    Star: Oh my! How sad…I actually teared up a bit.
    Star: Even though it is quick, it manages to tell such a story!
    Wish: I wish you’d had more words to work with. This story deserves to be so much more.

    43:Wir Werden Ficken
    Star: A lot of detail packed into a very short piece.
    Star: The opening paragraph sets things up well. Good explanation of that opening scene.
    Wish: The surprise at the end felt a bit disappointing and cliche.

    44.Shake It For Me **
    Star: I like the opening alliteration. Good word choice and sentence structure.
    Star: It’s a hot moment, well-described action/movements.
    Wish: I wish I could read the next scene!

    45.Tera-Bitten Tango *
    Star: It’s an intriguing setting.
    Star: Unique synopsis.
    Wish: I wish I knew more about these characters.

    46.Slave to the Rhythm
    Star: Well-written! Nice sentence structure and word choice.
    Star: The idea is unique.
    Wish: I’m confused about the audience. They are impassive? During such a show?

    47.Last Tango at Sandimonico’s
    Star: Oh…it’s sad.
    Star: I found it fairly unique – and it was a good story idea.
    Wish: But…I didn’t find it very erotic.

    48.Thunderstruck vs the Nutcracker
    Star: The story is set up well.
    Star: I like the idea.
    Wish: But it rushed to an ending, and wasn’t terribly erotic in the telling. There is, of course, hope of the erotic, but it is beyond the scope of these few paragraphs.

    49.Dream, Dream, Dream Dream…**
    Star: I like the narrator’s voice; it comes across naturally and creates an enticing character.
    Star: Awww….I like that ending! This is sweet story and goes well beyond just a scene! Others could look to this as a good example of that.
    Wish:

    50:Bells of the Ball
    Star: Some sexy description.
    Star: Specific details.
    Wish: I am a little confused about the premise of this one. So they are dancing/fucking in the dark and the bell chimes give away gender? Hmmm….

    51:A New Groove
    Star: Good set-up/hook. The opening grabs my interest right away and makes me wonder what will happen.
    Star: Natural dialogue.
    Wish: It felt like it was just starting – the beginning of a story…like it was heading toward something. But it didn’t quite get there. It feels like the writer ran out of space and just let it go.

    52.Blood Blessing
    Star: Good description. Unique idea.
    Star: Well-written. Strong sentences.
    Wish: Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t find bloody sex all that intriguing.

    53.The First of Many
    Star: Sweet…romantic.
    Star: Huh…I didn’t see that little detail coming! Way to catch me by surprise!
    Wish: I wish there was something more than just this interlude. And that surprise detail wasn’t enough to set this apart.

    54.Sapphic Soliloquy
    Star: I like the tension between the characters (even if it is only one-sided, it is set-up well).
    Star: Good back story. It makes me care about the character and their motivation.
    Wish: I didn’t find this terribly erotic. More sad than anything.

    55.Cat Dance
    Star: Her costume is interesting…and described well.
    Star: His sexy dance is also described well
    Wish: Hmmm…I felt this was a little lacking in something. Aside from her costume, I didn’t find this all that erotic.

    56.Under the Stars
    Star: Natural dialogue. The story builds at a good pace with just enough detail/description.
    Star: I care about the characters, and their relationship seems natural and easy.
    Wish: It’s sweet and romantic, but not erotic.

    57.A Celebration of Salvation**
    Star: I like the setting/situation. It immediately creates a sense of character and empathy.
    Star: I really feel the release and relief of these characters.
    Wish: I got nothin’. This one is great as is.

    Double Stars – My top choices were those that told a complete story, made me truly care about the characters and their motivations, were well-written, and had an element of eroticism. These stories stuck with me after the fact. They were memorable and different, standing out from the crowd. They offered more than just a scene, more than just sex.
    57 A Celebration of Salvation
    49 Dream, Dream, Dream, Dream…
    32 Drink My Honey
    44 Shake It For Me
    23 The Lord of the Dance
    42 The Closing Dance
    27 Danse Macabre
    17 The Great Rite
    26 Dancing Dirty

    This round was tough. There were a lot of good stories!

    1. Thank you for the feedback and the vote (27 Danse Macabre). I’ve been working towards getting a better story arc as I’ve worked through the rounds. It’s constantly challenging to create enough sense of character in the word count available and still leave space for the erotic moments. I’m always impressed by those that manage that better than I do.

    2. Thank you for the feedback, thoughts and the vote (27 Danse Macabre). It is a challenge to balance building out the characters and a story, plus leaving enough space for some erotica. It’s an enjoyable trial each time.

    3. So happy to be rated by you again, Brigit! Thank you. I really loved writing this story – creating the voice and building a complete story – it’s so good to have those noted by you.

    4. Thank you for taking the time to give us all such comprehensive feedback Brigit. I’m so happy you enjoyed my story (#57). I was really proud of my submission this round.

  15. 1) This began—and began well—as the sort of story I expected/wanted to read many times in this round: a Latin dance, with the inevitable erotic connection of the two dancers sparking a sensual sex scene. I got sufficient sense of who the characters were (although I might have liked some indication of their prior relationship) and a scene was sketched, so I was engaged enough to overlook the ‘Pfizz’ moment. This was an unnecessary detail which might have represented a release of tension in the dancers if this was cinema but which would be very difficult to write erotically; unfortunately, two people ‘releasing gassy pressure’, even from Coke cans, didn’t work for me. The story picked up again immediately, with the seduction building a little erotic tension but, for me, it crashed as soon as the scene turned sexual. Finding the right words, in context, for body parts is tricky, but it is key to finding the erotic/smutty sweet spot. Here we go from the euphemistic ‘southernmost lips’—which is too cutesy for my tastes but might be the perfect phrasing for someone else—to ‘vulva’ and ‘labium’—too medical for me, but appropriately Latin. Neither of these approaches—coy or correct—is inappropriate, of course, but there’s a conflict between them which I found jarring.

    2) I loved this. It took me a while to work out that we were at a wedding—which meant the line about her parents watching made me nervous for her age—but simply having two anonymous people overtaken by the combination of rhythm, each other, and the sensually-described moment worked for me. I had a couple of issues with language (e.g. the number in “two breasts” is probably unnecessary), but on the whole the writing was evocative. When I did work out the wedding reception setting—at the end, more or less—it raised issues: I wasn’t comfortable with the bride dancing in front of her grandmother in lace which “doesn’t do a damn thing to hide the gift beneath”, I wondered why none of the guests wondered where the bride and groom had gone, and I couldn’t work out the meaning of the last line. They did miss their literal first dance, but the line doesn’t work as euphemism because they both know they haven’t missed that first dance (even if grandma doesn’t) and so it won’t be when she sucks his dick. None of those things spoil the mood of the story, or would have spoiled my enjoyment as a reader under other circumstances, but as I was trying to read the story objectively they did enough to rob a very sexy story of a vote.

    3) I loved this as a story but it annoyed me, because it was more or less the story I wrote this round, only better written and without the twist I put in to avoid my discomfort at making my characters this young. The scene, the characters, and his reaction all felt real, but one thing didn’t: I didn’t believe he was nineteen, particularly as he was attending lessons, not lectures. The story also suffers from the same problem as mine: premature ejaculation isn’t that erotic. This author (Hislordship again?) manages that difficulty better than I did, by having knowing and maturity (and, perhaps, promise?) in Amy’s response. I ought to vote for this one—because I will be voting for mine, and this is better—but I’m likely to find four more stories that don’t come to a sticky end.

    4) This paints a beautiful picture, develops with the potential for serious eroticism, but is let down a little by the ending: the scene breathes too much vitality for those final words to fit. The writing flows well generally, though there’s one clunky sentence (“His warm breath…”). I’m shortlisting it, but not optimistically because there another 53 stories which might decide that making love is important in the Smut Marathon.

    5) This started with an interesting idea but the story became a list of sex vignettes with unknown and, for me, unappealing characters. Perhaps in trying to fit so much in, the writing was a little staccato and—I never thought I’d have to say this about erotica—there were too many hyphens, which became clunky at times. I liked the ending, but the flow of the story might have been improved by focusing on just one or two ‘naked’ guests.

    6) I loved the inventiveness of the premise, and that the story made me think about the flow of dominance and control which can add eroticism to a dance, but I couldn’t quite buy in to the idea of the two (presumably physically) strongest warriors cautiously evaluating each other’s (presumably physical) weaknesses. but then having victory in the contest depending more on the will of the dancers.

    7) I’m conflicted about this story. I bought into the premise, the descriptions were evocative, and the writing flowed well. It worked for me. One of the reasons it worked is that, often, the language is familiar enough to border on cliché; but while that familiarity of phrasing helps with the flow, it doesn’t help a story stand out in a competition.

    8) An interesting sex scene, but without any story to put the characters and their actions in context.

    9) This seems to dance around the brief by not actually including any dancing. I appreciated the novelty of using Muses as a muse, but neither the writing nor the characterisation reflected the setting. The story might have been improved if Terpsichore had aroused Erato with something appropriate to the character, such as her graceful movement, rather than having Erato taken from zero to orgasm by nine licks of Terpsichore’s extraordinarily gifted tongue.

    10) It’s tricky to make “it was all a dream” work as a twist ending, but this one had topical relevance, I particularly liked the way the clapping outside was incorporated into the dream, and it was a dream I enjoyed reading. I’m going to shortlist this, but it might lose out to stories with more characterisation.

    11) An interesting scene, with an opportunity to explore power dynamics and the ebb and flow of control, but the writing lacks the rhythm that the scenario demands.

    12) A sexy scenario let down by attention to detail. There were some grammar and style issues—e.g. the fourth paragraph ought to be at least four paragraphs in itself (separate paragraphs for each character’s dialogue), there’s a grocer’s apostrophe in “tutus”—which I might have overlooked but for the ending. I thought I’d gained some understanding of the characters but her last line didn’t work for me: I didn’t know why she characterised the dancers as “horny sluts”, and the phrase “cunts packed in fabric” felt odd and lacked eroticism. I also didn’t understand why he said her answer was wrong, when the thought of it made him come. That disconnect between who I thought the characters were and their last lines left me confused.

    13) I saw the end coming after the third paragraph, and I didn’t care; I was amused that someone chose an unsexy dance and I just wanted to be entertained by the journey toward a predictable punchline. I was entertained, but I was also annoyed by apparently random italicisation and 20s references that either felt forced or were inaccurate (a male flapper?). The narrator’s willingness, and his eagerness to ‘taste man-juice’, seemed a little sudden without any prior indication of flexibility. Then the punchline I’d been looking forward to was spiked by the penultimate line: it seemed like the narrator was turned around by the police raid, not by his openness to new experiences.

    14) I loved this as a piece of writing, I’m just not sure it’s smut. Nevertheless, its use of language carried me with it until the last line. I presume the author was aiming to convey desire, but I read that line as having a disturbing hint of coercion, with the Emperor’s virgin son determined to ‘know’, within a few hours, an ethereal beauty he hasn’t even met yet.

    15) I liked Ava’s excitement at a simple touch and the scene spoke to my kinks, but we aren’t really told anything about who she is, so her rapid escalation from a heart leaping with nerves to a woman totally enthralled, and about to be caned, by a stranger felt unrealistic. Not so unrealistic that I couldn’t enjoy the story, but enough not to vote for it.

    16) Most of my feedback is deeply hypocritical, possibly because I’m better at spotting mistakes I make myself. For example, I overuse (and misuse) commas. So did this story, in the second sentence, which prejudiced me against it immediately. I did enjoy the scenario, and what characterisation was necessary was easily established from context, but little errors in the writing (e.g. kissed in her neck?) and the over-reliance on telling, not showing, spoiled the story for me.

    17) This is well-written, interesting, and the last line is beautiful. I’m shortlisting it, but it didn’t really speak to me, so it’s likely to be squeezed out by stories which do.

    18) This was a fun porn scene that was let down by overuse of names where pronouns would have improved the flow of the writing. I’m also never going to like the words ‘dong’ and ‘muff’, so I was prejudiced against them going in, but they seemed out of place when describing such explicit action.

    19) This scenario appealed to me, so I overlooked the very liberal interpretation of the ‘dance’ brief. But the grammar/punctuation of the first sentence tripped me up (it should be either ‘candles casting’, or the comma and semi-colon need to swap places), and there were comma splices throughout, which is a shame, because it made it awkward to read a story I otherwise enjoyed.

    20) I like the story, and I would shortlist it, but I feel like it could have been told almost identically without any reference to dancing, which subverts the brief.

    21) I find such a large block of text without paragraphs extremely difficult to read, so I can’t give any meaningful feedback on this one.

    22) This started promisingly, setting an interesting scene with lots of potential which then went unrealised. There is a place for social commentary in smut, but here it seems to be instead of smut. I did love the phrase “smiles like a pirate on vacation” but I wanted him to be more pirate and less prat, so Mounia (and the reader) could have some fun.

    23) A good Scottish accent can draw me into any story, so I was well disposed towards this one from the start. The writing is strong, the descriptions are evocative (although I didn’t like ‘taut globes’; something which suggested movement rather than static spheres might have been better), and it is possible to write a powerfully erotic story which builds sexual tension but ends before anything sexual happens; this doesn’t quite manage that. I loved the writing in the penultimate paragraph, and I enjoyed the ending, but it left me wanting some actual smut.

    24) As I said in feedback to #22, there is a place for social commentary in smut. I’ve found that place. This is smart, well-written, hot as hell, and voted for.

    25) M/M is not usually my kind of thing but I enjoyed this story, which suggests the author was doing a lot right. There are good choices of descriptive detail, both characters are rounded out as much as is feasible in so short a story, and it builds eroticism naturalistically and believably. I’ve shortlisted it, but it will probably lose out to another story which is more my kind of thing.

    26) This drew me in with the line, “I would close my eyes, quiet my mind, and connect to the primal rhythm aching to inhabit my movements.” It’s a hot little story, but I have to find four hot stories out of fifty-six to vote for, so I’m getting super picky. ‘Bassline’ is misspelt, and there’s a minor irritation near the end when the customer latches a door which has no reason to have a latch (in fact, I feel like it definitely wouldn’t have a latch, for the security of the dancers).

    27) Love it. Urgency, darkness, billowing skirts, rough nylons, vivacity in the face of peril… everything combines to create a story hot enough to overcome its minor technical issues (e.g. there are sentence fragments, such as “Her dark eyes flecked by the glitter ball above.”; I’m sure Rosie’s only wearing one garter belt; there’s a close repetition of ‘moment’ which is jarring). The ending was predictable and perhaps a little overwrought by comparison to the rest of the story (I didn’t like the idea of war as ‘savage opera’) but I’m shortlisting this one because it spoke to me; it whispered sweet nothings while sliding its hand up my thigh.

    28) This was a well-written piece of erotica, the words flowing like a dance; but ultimately it was a scene without a story. I had some idea of who Chel was, but only a superficial picture of the twins and the context which allows Orrin to grope Chel on the dance floor without any indication of consent.

    29) I loved the concept and the story painted a picture for me: I could see Harald and Serafina in animation, running, leaping together, spinning… its a cartoon I’d watch. The explosion into dandelion seeds was beautiful. But the for a Smut Marathon entry I felt it lacked: there were a couple of mentions of desire, but the sex was perfunctory, beginning and ending in the penultimate paragraph.

    30) This is an interesting scenario, with lots of potential, but it is let down by the overuse of names where pronouns would have helped the words flow, and too many simple declarative sentences which make what could be a good story feel like a commentary over a porn scene. The ending lifts it a little; I liked the idea that Sally might dance more in future.

    31) Not as good as #3.

    32) This is one of those tricky ones where I enjoyed the story, and the writing is wonderful, painting a joyous picture of believable characters, but… I don’t get more then the promise of smut from it. I might have voted for this in a different competition, but in the Smut Marathon I want to read chapter two.

    33) A hot scene (all urgent fucks over kitchen tables get my attention) that doesn’t quite make the grade due to telling, not showing, at times (I want to know what “seductive stirring” looks like) and some incongruous word choices (e.g. “blared” for Lennon’s vocals, which aren’t loud or harsh; and “coyly questioning” where ‘asking’ would have been simpler, and nothing at all would have been better still because the lip bite and the question mark could do the job of showing without telling). And as a keen cook, I don’t think they’re going back to making lasagne, because that sauce is ruined. 🙂

    34) Having criticised several stories so far for not including enough smut, I’m going to be hypocritical and like this one for the same reason; at least, I liked the way explicit action was kept out of this story (the playful(?) slapping, and the last line in particular). It built erotic tension much as Katy’s dance did. I bought into the setup, I believed in the characters, I loved the story, but I still would have liked to see that erotic tension pay off. I’ve shortlisted it, but the shortlist is becoming long.

    35) This is a competent, if slightly improbable, sex scene that never develops into a story. I thought I got a sense of who the characters might be from the context, but—and I may be showing my age here—Cassie seemed to be a strange mix of 18-year-old virgin and porn actress. The gown turning into a mini skirt was clever, but an unnecessary complication to the story, and having the scene end on Brian’s cock softening just confused (and disappointed) me.

    36) I wanted to write a ballerina corruption story for this round, but I couldn’t get mine to work in 325 words; this does. If this story doesn’t do the best job in this round of integrating the dancing with the sex, I’ll be very surprised: I absolutely love how it’s formatted, with memories of the dance interwoven at appropriate points to mirror the developing scene, so that the story seems to dance with itself. This one is skipping the shortlist and going straight to the ‘voted for’ list.

    37) I enjoyed this on its own merits, but it doesn’t stand out: it’s another sex scene that never develops into a story. All I know about the characters is Phil’s clumsiness and the age gap between Angie and Pierre, so when the dance lesson suddenly devolves into a threesome it just seems improbable/contrived.

    38) I liked this as a vignette, and urgency in stories this short always works well, but there wasn’t enough smut—or dancing—to grab my attention.

    39) This is a nice romance scene, but I wanted Nick to finish what he started the other day; he didn’t, he just started it again. That’s a shame, because the set-up laid the groundwork for a hot sex scene.

    40) A competent sex scene that doesn’t rise above the pack. I thought I had some sense of who the characters were (him by description, her by actions), until I got to the end and had to reassess them. I liked that ending, partly because it went some way to relieving my concerns about Dan ‘reading her mind’. I’m happy with implied consent in stories, but at first that felt more like inferred consent (even though Dan’s inference was correct, it came from what—at that point in the story, to the reader—was just a stranger glancing at a door).

    41) This is a very good sex scene, and despite criticising other entries for not being stories, just sex scenes without context or characterisation, I almost like that about this entry: the reader is kept in the dark about who the characters are, but observes what they do, which fits the setting of the scene. Writing in first person is right for this scene, but it works against turning the scene into something more than just a sex scene: if it had been written in third person—reinforcing that idea of the voyeurism of strangers in a dark room—I would have been tempted to vote for it, because the writing is excellent.

    42) I like this as a piece of flash fiction, but dancing was assumed rather than featured (the references back to the assumed dancing—the timeless tango, the last dance— were a nice touch, though). As a piece of smut, it worked as far as the sex scene but the suicide pact took the edge off the erotic tension.

    43) Urgent sex, competently described, in a realistic context where I have some (mistaken!) sense of who the characters are, usually works for me. This story certainly did. The ending felt a little bit gimmicky, but that worked too, perhaps because it had been signalled with her puzzled look. I’m shortlisting this, and if it doesn’t get a vote it will probably be because the repetition of “over very quickly” didn’t work for me.

    44) This painted a very clear picture, and I got an idea of who the characters were. There’s not much wrong with the writing—the author could perhaps have found different adjectives to describe the erection and the tits, and I was confused by almost everything in the sentence that featured her finger ‘whirring’ over her clit—but both the dancer and the story seem to have a specific target audience and I’m just not in it.

    45) This is so far outside my interests and comfort zone that I’m not sure I can give meaningful feedback on it. I appreciated some of the artful alliteration and I did like the ending, with its echo of his earlier determination/thrall, but I have no idea whether a whirring vaginal conduit is erotic in this genre.

    46) Well-written, the relationship sketched recognisable characters, and it was a complete story, but, for me, the descriptions, while painting a clear picture, lacked eroticism.

    47) This is a lovely story, but I felt it lacked eroticism, and the sad ending underlined that for me. On a technical note, I don’t think exclamation marks work outside of dialogue, because I want the words to convey their own sense; and “one last time” felt wrong because the story hadn’t mentioned any previous times (it might be that the pelvic thrust is an integral part of the tango, so could be assumed to have happened several times, but I don’t know that).

    48) A good story, with a nice twist, but let down by occasional language errors—e.g. mouths can drool saliva, but saliva can’t drool by itself—and overwriting, such as “proceeded into a dissimilar orientation”.

    49) I’ve criticised other stories in this round for lacking smut and ending with death, but this story proves that can be made to work. The narrator’s voice helps a great deal in that, I think, lending the character and her memories a sense of realism. I’m shortlisting it, because I love it as a story, but the sadness of the ending, and the competition from more filthy stories, might still count against it.

    50) This was an interesting scenario that gave an explicit sex scene some context. The characters were entirely anonymous, which was appropriate to the story but didn’t help me connect with them. The writing could have been tightened up a little—e.g. there’s a close repetition of ‘desire’ in the first paragraph, the narrator somehow senses a condom being applied in total darkness, “swollen and turgid” both mean the same thing—but it works as smut.

    51) This is a good beginning: I enjoyed the writing, but the story ends before any smut develops, and before the dancing starts. I would read on if there was more, but for me it doesn’t qualify as a Smut Marathon entry featuring dancing.

    52) Fabulously descriptive writing, just not for me.

    53) Another competent sex scene that doesn’t do anything to rise above the pack. Both the dancing and the sex were nicely written but I didn’t get much sense of who the characters were, and the scene never evolved into a story.

    54) A good balance of dancing and smut within the structure of a story, only let down by some jarring word choices (e.g. “tongue whirling like a dervish” cleverly continued the dancing theme but in a way that seemed both improbable and at odds with the sensual swirl of the ballet).

    55) This is another nice little scene which doesn’t quite develop into a story. It got off to a poor start by using “[moving] to an invisible beat” twice, in consecutive sentences, in the opening paragraph. The second one felt redundant and both of them felt wrong, because any beat is inherently invisible and the phrase was used to describe the only ways the beat was visible.

    56) I liked the story well enough, I just didn’t see any smut in it.

    57) I enjoyed this: a well-written, hot, urgent sex scene that told me just enough about the characters and their relationship for me to engage with it. The dancing felt tacked on at the end, but I loved the hope in that ending.

    Votes: 24, 27, 31, 36, 49

    1. Thank you for the vote and the comments. (27) and taking the time to do so. I’m glad this resonated with you. This process is interesting as no matter how often I read, I often find small issues slip through without another pair of eyes to re-read. I clearly need to study more on garter belts! As to sentence fragments, I’m interested in people’s views on this. I like them personally, when they give a moment of urgency or pace. But maybe I just to think how else to achieve that feeling in the text. Thanks again.

      1. I agree. Fragments can add momentum and a sense of urgency. But if overused, the writing can become clipped and the flow can be lost. It’s a delicate balance.

    2. Marsha, you are the Queen of Feedback! So, to get praise for you, and to get your vote, despite your instinctive reservations to my sad story… I couldn’t be happier! Thank you.

  16. Drink My Honey #32 Extremely accomplished writing which delighted me from beginning to end. This writing danced. 10 points

    Dream Dream Dream Dream #49 A powerful and evocative story of lost love back in 1958. 9 points

    The Closing Dance #42 This story, of a hotel concierge, had a glorious hard boiled/pulp fiction feel to it. Written with spice and sensitivity. 8 points

    Friday Night in Dahab #22 A very cleverly crafted story which delivers an unexpected climax. 7 points

    Shattered and Put Together #20 A grainy video of their wedding is the start of this beautifully written original story, with characters, who live and breathe. 6 points

    A New Groove #57 Excellent dialogue in this finely written tale of a nightclub encounter. 5 points

    Thunderstruck and the Nutcracker #48 Skilfully written story of a life changing moment. I loved the use of ‘beseech’. 4 points

    Smutty Dancing #13 A wonderful, bath tub gin fuelled romp, full of sex and humour. 3 points

    Shake It For Me #44 The writer has created a gloriously seedy club with great descriptions of the gum-chewing cowgirl dancer and her luckless client. I loved the humour. 2 points.

  17. Firstly, I want to say that I think there are several stories that are unique, captivating and well written.
    I have however only written down a few thoughts to the ones I gave my vote this time.

    4) ON A SQUARE METER
    The description of the venue, of the dancers, of the tension between them, the lust, It is all so excellently written! I am full of admiration.
    I admit, when it comes to some single word choices I could argue, also about the end sentence, it is not to my liking. I find it to be an unnecessary comment to be honest. But it isn’t my story to tell, so I will not argue about that either. It doesn’t change the fact that this is extraordinary and the words flow as music, besides they are actually dancing! That I particularly like.

    27) DANSE MACABRE
    This story, I can picture it, like a movie it plays inside my head. I read it and then I read it again, hoping there is something I missed the first time I read it. This is such a charming story. The dancing and the sex is not forced upon me, more should be written like this! The credibility, so convincingly easy. I can feel them both. His vision of her. It pulls me in. And I must say the lightness expressed in contrast to the ongoing war is such a brilliantly clever idea I am absolutely thrilled. It is all so nicely captured and well done.

    36) THE BALLERINA’S CORRUPTION
    First I want to say it is fascinating how characters form. What do I even know about these two, and is it even important? I wonder.
    I have (to my somewhat annoyance) been blessed with knowing their names. Unnecessarily I would say, because it is the look in their eyes the tension that they emit that speaks to me. I can feel their need, the desire. Their attraction. I can feel it in between those lines. Between the acts. Between their opposites. So extraordinary nicely designed. I love how this is written. I’m moved and captured by their faith and how exciting this assignment suddenly turned out to be. This is remarkable.

    44) SHAKE IT FOR ME
    Of all lap-dances I have read I find that this must be one of the very best. She’s confident as she rightfully should be, doing her job well. Not overly arrogant. I appreciate that. It is all excellently described. I like that the lyrics are interleaved, it somehow reinforces the notion that it all soon will be over, that she will move on once done her moves.
    I can feel the rhythm of the music and her dance through the words. I can sense the atmosphere in the room, sense them both. The tent in his trousers is more than justified I’d say. Needless to add, assignment well done. This is about dancing.

    … as always a round of applause. This is a great opportunity to read so many amazing different stories. Thank you all.

    Ø

  18. Oh darn! I’ve been rubbish and missed out on voting. I thought I’d have until end of Sunday. Alas, I’m waiting with baited breath for the results. Good luck everyone! xxx

  19. The thing I found most interesting about this round was how quickly the strongest stories leapt out, even on a first run-through. That’s because they clearly – and in some cases cleverly – sidestepped the trap less successfully avoided by too many writers, namely the inability/refusal to do more with the brief than ‘two hot people dance together hotly, then have hot sex’.

    Many of the stories that got caught up in this net were fine* – inoffensive, if not massively interesting – but a handful of the worst offenders featured prose so ridiculously purple that it could’ve been lifted from the middle of a bad Mills & Boon novel. There were far too many brooding, chiselled, 6’2” hip-swivellers with a magic penis for my liking, and even more couples who simply fell into each other’s arms after a bit of body shaking on the dance floor, for reasons that the author had no interest in teasing out or signposting in any way. At this stage in the competition, it’s simply not enough to write characters who are suddenly and inexplicably attracted to each other, get horny, then fuck – you owe your readers more than that!

    Before I get to my top nine, I want to give a quick shout-out to five stories that made my shortlist but didn’t survive the final cut. Those five are:

    #17 – The Great Rite
    #27 – Danse Macabre
    #34 – Doing More Than Dishes
    #47 – Last Tango At Sandominco’s
    #49 – Dream, Dream, Dream, Dream

    I enjoyed each one of those, and a couple in particular were hard to rule out. I hope all five authors make it safely through to Round 5.

    On then to my Round 4 favourites, listed in order. In my opinion, these all made really good use of the brief, and told a story about the link between dancing and sex that went beyond the obvious.

    10 points: #24 – All By Myself

    This may be my favourite story of the entire 2020 Smut Marathon (so far), not just Round 4. It has a believable, well-drawn protagonist/narrator, a clear story, and so many wonderfully crafted lines that I couldn’t believe it was only 313 words long. I particularly enjoyed ‘Just long enough to get sweaty and breathless, breathe in fuck-me pheromones and taste my own agency’, but there were plenty more really lovely touches (the new bolt on her door; the ‘languorous patterns’ of the lights, as they stroke the air with lovers’ hands; the physical impairment that’s never fully explained, because it doesn’t need to be). A clear winner in my book.

    9 points: #22 – Friday Night in Dahab

    On another day, this might have taken top spot. It’s clever, biting, simple-in-a-good-way, and has a great pay-off. I really liked the main character, and felt like I got a view of her personality that extended far beyond the environment in which this story finds her.

    8 points: #52 – Blood Blessing

    If you’re going to write something this intense, this visceral, there’s no room for error – you have to really nail it, or you’re likely to end up with something that’s either clumsy and a bit ridiculous, or a complete turn-off. It’s to the author’s (massive) credit that this story is neither of those things. I love the way the sisters ‘yip and trill and whirl’, and I love the priest’s ‘face shadowy in the flashing firelight.’ Most of all though, I was seriously impressed by the pacing in the last couple of paragraphs. As I read it, I felt the rhythm of the music, the dancing all around them, and the steady build toward climax.

    7 points: #31 – Teacher’s Pet

    Of all the things you can do in 300 words, executing a genuinely surprising twist is among the hardest. Teacher’s Pet does exactly that, and when I got to the end I immediately wanted to go back and read it again (another rare quality). Above all, it has a real sense of place and time; I was immediately transported back to my own school hall, and to the 6th form discos where teachers lurked in the shadows, doing who-knows-what together. Great work.

    6 points: #20 – Shattered and Put Together

    For me, the top four stories in this round were a fair way ahead of the rest. Among the remaining 53, Shattered and Put Together topped my list, purely because I loved the picture it drew of a full, rich, believable relationship – again, no easy feat in a story of this length. I really believed the connection between Eve and Jasmina, and all the scenarios the author described (the meet-cute, the first date/fuck, the first fight and the make-up sex) felt very real.

    5 points: #15 – At The Club

    This is a pretty simple story, the success of which hinges entirely on one line:

    “C’mon Ava,” I say to myself, “you got up the guts to come to a sex club alone, you can dance with another woman.”

    While ‘show don’t tell’ is a great mantra to keep in mind as a writer, sometimes there’s real value in spelling out your protagonist’s motivation – the trick is to do it with a bit of panache, and that’s definitely present here.

    4 points: #2 – The First Dance

    I was surprised there weren’t more wedding first dances among the 57 entries, but of the few that did pop up, this is the best. I liked the description of a wedding dress as ‘delicate lace wrapping paper’, and the sex that unfolds outside the venue is well-judged and pretty hot.

    3 points: #6 – Dance of the Warriors

    This isn’t perfect – it veers a little too close to cheese/cliché in the climactic paragraph – but like most of my favourites, it benefits from a clear narrative, an intelligent (and in this case appealingly raw) use of dance as a precursor/stand-in for sex, and well-drawn characters with believable motives.

    2 points: #32 – Drink My Honey

    The biggest compliment I can pay this story is that after reading it a couple of times, I felt like I could *see* the two main characters. Kat and Nina had acquired 3D status in my mind, purely because of how well the authors captured them in little snippets of description and dialogue (‘a toothy grin and glasses smeared with hazelnut gelato’, ‘dark braids tucked neatly under a cap […] squishy belly, unabashedly jiggling underneath her tight tank’).

    *In light of recent events, I want to be as clear as possible in my feedback on any trans stories that appear in Smut Marathon between now and the end of the year. #53 (The First of Many) is the only R4 entry that falls into that category, and while I enjoyed the writing (not enough erotica authors focus on details like a character’s smile), the whole set-up was a bit too simple/linear, and fell into (the higher end of) the ‘hot people having sex hotly’ bracket.

  20. Thank you all who took the time and made the effort to give feedback. I might still respond to what I read and wrote this round. But I won’t make any promises. Congratulations to the winners and a big thumbs up to every writer. See you next round.

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